I Wish I Hated Him

Amaya

I pretended to be asleep in the car as we pulled away from the house. I just didn’t want to talk any more, not about what I’d just agreed to, not about what I’d said when I’d walked out the night before, not any of it. Even though I was exhausted and could probably have used the rest, I found my mind racing at a mile a minute as I tried to make sense of what the fuck I had just done.

Why had I taken him back so easily? He had pretty much just had to turn up on my doorstep, pull those sad eyes, and remind me of how little money I had and how much I needed this and I was crawling back to him. Maybe not crawling exactly. I had laid down some ground rules at least, something to keep him at bay, but even as I sat there right afterward, I was doubting my ability to keep my attraction and my feelings for him at a decent low. I just wanted him, wanted this, wanted everything that came with being with a man with his kind of status and attitude and, fuck, all of it.

It was for Jolene. Tha