A few mornings later, as I poured a cup of coffee from my French press, I glanced up at the TV. The news scroll at the bottom announced that Senator Peterson had been arrested for the murder of his girlfriend, Alexis Moore. Two reporters on television sat at a glass desk with their feet on the rungs of their stools and a page of notes in front of them. I turned it up. A woman with overprocessed hair and shiny pink lipstick and wearing a bright yellow dress leaned toward a black man in a dark gray suit and blue tie as he said, “It begs the question, is our legal system broken? When shrewd, manipulative attorneys like Thena Robert can get a man like Senator Peterson, an accused sexual predator, acquitted, is she to blame? Is it our legal system? Was it the fault of the jury? Or did something unnatural happen in that courtroom?” “That’s right, Barry. Our panel of experts is here to discuss the law and sexual predators this morning,” the blonde said. Barry gave the lead-in. “Senator P
Bondage. Discipline. Sadism. Masochism. On my laptop, the screen filled with images of beautiful women tied with black rope. With red rope. And placed into positions that compromised their movement. It held them. It kept them from moving, walking, or running away. I wanted to be them. I wanted to feel the rope on my skin. And more than anything in the world, I wanted to fight against it. Richard hadn’t tied me up, so to speak. If anything, our encounter had been vanilla. I wanted more. He said he was a dominant man, why hadn’t he shown me that side of himself? In life I felt restricted. By my family and by rules. By the law. By the life I’d made. That was the reason I tombstoned. Because facing the risk head-on freed me from the restrictions of life. Of my life.Could bondage free me in ways that tombstoning could not? I wondered. Could fighting against rope metaphorically untie me from guilt and shame? What if letting Richard call the shots—take control—could absolve me? I needed
It was still dark outside when I woke several minutes or several hours later. And Richard was no longer in bed. I heard shuffling near his dresser, and I sat up.“Can’t you sleep? Come back to bed.” I patted the sheet next to me. He wore black briefs that hugged his hard, round buttocks. But even in the dark room, I could see that something troubled him.“What’s wrong?” I asked.At first he hesitated. “I need. . . .”I waited for him to finish as he lowered his head and faced the dresser away from me. He fingered a piece of paper there.“What do you need? Tell me, please.”“Thena.” He stepped to the foot of the bed then sat down. “I need more from you. I need you to be willing to give what I ask,” he said.“What does that mean? I’m here. I’m willing. I’ve told you that I love this.” He stood again and went to retrieve his slacks. Leaning on the couch, he slid his feet into them. I pulled the sheet over my body. Richard seemed broody. Vexed and uneasy. He picked up his belt and folde
I hardly slept that night. I had taken a cab home and fell onto my bed fully dressed. I padded to the bathroom and plunged my hands and face into the icy-cold tap water. Memory of the night before lingered with the stale smell of Richard’s cologne on my skin. Before stripping out of my T-shirt and jeans to shower his scent off me, I looked in the mirror. Red marks and striations from the tight ropes had already faded. Atonement. Forgiveness. The experience had relieved me of my angst. I looked at my reflection and took a big gulp of air. Like swimming to the surface after plunging into the dark water at Lake Havasu.I dressed in black clothing that fit my defiant mood, a black pencil skirt and a shirt with a starched, severe pointed collar. Today in court I hoped to slaughter the prosecuting attorney. I was angry with Richard and angry with myself for falling for him. I went to the kitchen counter to boil water in my kettle for coffee. I stared at the bubbling liquid until the kettle
The blood orange sky could have been mistaken for a distant fire. The sunset in the west hovered between a few black clouds like smoke from that smoldering flame. To the east, the shroud of a storm closed in. It had been months since I’d taken the time to notice the sky. Standing on the sidewalk in front of my building, I noted how the events of the past few weeks had taken their toll. Johnson Dorman wanted me to represent another scuzzy predator. Peterson had just killed his girlfriend and asked me to represent him again. I hugged my arms to my chest and added one more—Richard. . . . and his contract. To my left, a black Mercedes pulled alongside the sidewalk. Travis. I should have known Richard wouldn’t let it go. He’s sent his bodyguard even though I’d told him not to. From the car, Travis called out the opened passenger window. “Jump in. I’ll take you to Richard’s.”“Thanks, Travis, but I told Richard I’ll stay home tonight.” “I can’t let you do that.”Take the night off, Travi
I hated to be late. On my way to trial, my high heels clicked like a hammer against bone as I hurried down Michigan Avenue. I passed people, parked cars, and street venders. Panic and dread compounded the urgency to get to the courtroom, which was miles away. My briefcase had become so heavy I dragged it like a concrete block and considered leaving it behind. But even worse that being late, I hated being unprepared. My important notes were in this briefcase. Walking backward now, I dragged it along the sidewalk. Then something caught my eye. Senator Phil Peterson’s fiancé Alexis stared at me through the closed window of a car. From the vehicle, she watched me as the car crept along, keeping pace with me. Behind the pane of glass, Alexis pounded on the window. Terror filled her eyes. She was in trouble. When I let go of the briefcase and reached for her car door, something stopped me. My ankle was shackled and chained to a concrete pillar. I couldn’t remove it, let alone reach forwa
I woke in a quiet, dark room with a pounding headache. It took time to regain my bearings, as if I’d been out of my body for a long time. A shadowy figure sat near me. I summoned my strength to stay conscious and noticed a gentle stroking on the back of my hand. Richard.I whispered his name.“Shh. Stay quiet, Thena.” He touched my cheek and pushed my hair away from my face. “Sleep, Thena. I am here.” He kissed my forehead and the back of my hand. “Sleep.”Safe and protected, I slid back into dreamless slumber. Distant sounds of a beeping monitor crept into my awareness, and I realized I must be in a hospital. I heard an occasional phone ringing down the hall and the low, muted drum of rain beating on the window. “Good morning.” Richard’s voice. Then another, more gruff. “How’s my favorite lawyer doing?” Jeff. “Is she awake?”“Not yet,” Richard said from beside me. “Well, I hope they’re taking care of her.”“Believe me, I’m making sure,” Richard said.I let my eyelids flutter
I’m not taking the Anna Fiske case” I said to Dorman Sr. In his office, awkward silence hovered in the air like a deflated helium balloon as my boss weighed my bold statement.Dorman clicked a ball point pen. The sound echoed off the wall of books to my right. “Perry Ward came to me and directly requested you, Wil. He and I both believe that you’re the best lawyer for the job.” In the doorway behind me, Perry looked worried. In the meeting last week, I decided what was best for me, I just hadn’t known how to go about it. Now, I nodded at her then took control.I planted my high heels on the carpet. “I won’t represent Perry Ward. Give him to Domie.” Dorman appeared confused. “Why are you arguing this one, Wil?”“Because I’ve earned that right. I won’t take the case.” Adding fuel to Dorman’s fiery red discomfort, I said, “Richard Mackenzie and I are no longer under contract.” A muscle twitched in Dorman’s neck. “I thought you’d keep him under contract for the other services that the f