The house became eerily quiet over the next few days. My mother was working non-stop at the clinic, all while organizing our way out of the pack, and trying to keep it secret from everyone around us. And my father had been constantly called away by the Alpha. From what I heard, there had been border breaches from the enemy packs, and it seemed they had been holding meetings and ordering more patrols of the borders.
With the added patrols, I couldn’t rein in my worry that we wouldn’t be able to cross and run, without being noticed. Did mom have a plan for that too? She hadn’t told me anything, which I suppose is a good thing. That way no one would be able to overhear our plan and stop us. I don’t want to think of what would happen to us if we were caught. But would they lock us up? Would they torture us? Would they kill us?
It didn’t matter, we can’t stay here any longer.
Every night since my father attacked me, I had had awful dreams, nightmares. I was stuck inside them, unable to move as my father came at me, beat me over and over again. Sometimes I was unable to wake myself up and was trapped, trapped watching it happen repeatedly, feeling the pain again and again. I began to lose sleep, became more nervous, jumpy. I wanted to hide, wanted it to all end, but I could never leave my mother, I could never abandon her.
My mother was the one thing in my life that kept me going, kept me from disappearing forever. She was my rock, my best friend, my only friend. My grandparents from both parents were killed in the last war. I never got to know them. I have no extended family, no cousins, nothing, it's just my father and my mom. My mom has always protected me the best she could, she tried to take the beatings for me, but my father would never hit her. He wouldn’t have risked leaving a mark on her beautiful face, not when she was the best nurse the pack had, not when she was held in such high regard. No, he would save his physical brutality for me.
I never understood why he targeted me, why he hated me so. But I had always suspected that it had something to do with the fact that my mother was not his mate, and I was an unwanted child born of a forced marriage between them. If his mate had never been killed, he would never have agreed to the marriage with my mother, I would never have been a concept, never have been born, and what I suffer through now, well that would never have come to pass.
My mind had been churning through these non-stop thoughts for 4 days. It was like I could no longer control my mind. I had Atonia trying to get me to calm down, trying to get me to listen to her, to stop these thoughts. I couldn’t, it was a non-stop barrage of thoughts of worthlessness, being a burden, being unwanted, being weak. You would think I would be used to all these thoughts by now, but for some reason, they were just growing, getting worse and I couldn’t stop them.
Wouldn’t it be better if I was never born? Would my mother be happy? Would she be safe?
It was Monday, the 8th of March. I was ready and waiting out by the car for my father. I had been early every day since Tuesday last, just so I could keep things civil, somewhat peaceful. He would have meetings all day and all through the night. There were threats of invasion from another enemy pack to the west so he was completely occupied with the growing concern of war. He dropped me at the campus gates, without a single word or comment. I quickly climbed out of the car and turned to walk towards the school, listening as the distinct sound of his car faded the further he drove away. But I stopped dead in my tracks, listening carefully as another familiar car sped towards me. It was my mother. Her face was full of fear and worry. She hit the brakes so hard, I swear the car looked like it was going to flip. She
Oakwood Ridge glowed below us, sprawling from one end of the forest to the other. It beckoned us.We began our descent towards the lights, the sound, the people. I took it in, listening to the sounds of laughter, children playing. Deathfall was never like this. It was quiet, there were rules, curfews, punishments for not following the rules. It was dark there, it didn’t feel like home. It was never home, not to me.We walked in silence towards the packhouse, which was situated on the edge of the town. It faced a building that looked like a typical British boarding school and was separated by a large field and what kind of looked like a well-used training arena.As the packhouse rose up in front of us, I could see it more clearly. The sandstone brick walls were full of large windows and covered in beautiful pur
The morning came too soon. I was far too comfortable, wrapped in the blankets. I listened to the sound of people rushing in and out of their rooms, getting ready for school, I guessed. I turned onto my back and lay there, staring at the ceiling, remembering the events of the day before. I was feeling more relaxed about where I was, but the wolf I saw from my window last night, the memory was playing on my mind.Why were they watching me? How long had they been there?There was a gentle knock on the door. It began to open and my mother poked her head in.“Morning sleepyhead,” she chuckled.I threw the covers over my head and groaned.“Urgh… Morning, mom,” I grumbled back, making her laugh. I pull
On Wednesday morning, my mother and I decided we should take the opportunity and go look around the town, get a few things and maybe meet a few people. My mother especially wanted to go look around the clinic, meet everyone there.So at around 10 am, we set out and began the trek through the town.It was as beautiful as I thought. The buildings were all made from the same sandstone as the packhouse, and most seemed to have this sort of organised chaos look to their gardens. Wisteria or ivy grew up the side of the buildings, giving them an overgrown look, blending them into the surrounding areas. The roads and pathways were clean and well kept, as were the little parks we strolled past. Everything was beautiful, like a town out of a book.Strolling down the path, towards the town centre, I couldn’t help but not
After the Alpha had left us, I slowly ambled through the flat, hunting for where my mother had disappeared to. I twisted as a noise came from the end of the small hallway, to the right of the living room. Turning and heading down the hall, I opened the first door, finding it empty. Carrying on, I reached the second door, opening it softly. There, sat on the edge of the large bed, was my mother, tears in her eyes, head hanging low. “Mom?” I called softly. She looked up, trying to hide her tears, but failing. “Are you okay? What happened?” I asked, concern lining my voice. “Nothing, I-... I’ve just never had such kindness shown to me, not since I was a child,” she confessed, taking a shuddering breath. “The generosity, and
I had awoken early, my dreams throwing me out of sleep. Why was I dreaming of the Alpha? Is it a side effect of drinking his blood and swearing myself to him? Confused, I threw my blankets back and stood up out of bed. I stepped towards the window, pulled the curtains back and opened the window, letting the cool morning air surround me. The early morning mist was sitting low in the air, the dew-wet grass shimmering in the light of the sunrise. The colours, pale and soothing. It had rained that night, leaving the damp earthy scent lingering in the air. Thick, dark clouds hovered in the distance, a promise of rain. I took in the air, waking myself up fully. Sifting through the view, I caught a glimpse of two figures out on the field, fighting. Focusing on them, I realised that it was Beta Matthias an
Standing outside the school, I began to feel my nerves fighting to take over. I could see a few people glancing towards me. Clearly, I was going to be the topic of conversation for some. Nothing new then. Taking a deep breath in and letting it go, I strolled into the school, aiming for the main office. The school was clean, recently redecorated, by the faint scent of pain in the air. The corridors were packed with students, all either rushing to their lockers or to their first class of the day or just gossiping. I eventually managed to find the main office, I opened the door and walked in. Glancing around I see a familiar face behind the desk. “Ah, Amelia, there you are,” Eliza motioned me over. “I was wondering if you’d gotten lost,” she said, a kind smile on her fa
My first class of the day went well. Dani helped me adjust quite quickly, and nobody paid me much mind once the class started. I hadn’t felt so relaxed in a school for some time. But I knew that it wasn’t going to always be this easy, this chilled out.Walking to our next class, Dani chatted enthusiastically, the entire way. She pointed people out to me, even introduced me to some. They all seemed quite nice to me.Entering our Math class, Dani ushered me straight to her table in the middle and we sat. Some of the people she had introduced me to, were sat nearby and had started chatting to us while we waited for the teacher to arrive. While we were chatting the rest of the students walked, taking their seats, but still no teacher. There was one girl in particular who was watching me, openly glaring.&ldq