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I guess Alexi is sensitive to head injuries given what happened with Gino, and this isn’t really about me at all. He just happens to get panicky over people dying from brain injury, I guess.
‘I’m fine. I just need you to leave,’ I call out softly. I don’t think I have the energy anymore to even get up.
‘I told you. I’m not going anywhere without you. I’m not leaving you here.’ He sounds determined and I just get agitated once more—our roundabout of emotions and moods that never ends.
‘Jesus Christ Alexi!’ I get up, despite the effort it takes, yank the chair away from the door and pull it open with force, to be faced with him standing, leaning both hands against the frame, so I walk right into his space as he stands bracing himself. It’s a bit like getting slapped in the face being suddenly assaulted with him in such an up-front manner. I practically bang my nose on his chest but I don
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I push through the door of the diner exactly three and a half minutes late due to the fact my train was delayed, and I then had to run to get here in half the time. I’m out of breath, lungs on fire and sweating like crazy, not just from exertion, but that damn flu has overtaken with a vengeance. My emotional state is fragile to say the least and I am running on empty.I can’t stop sneezing, my nose is pouring and I have a throat like razor blades, walking around with that awful cotton wool head. On top of that I have a killer headache from my face and I just feel like death warmed up.I got maybe an hour and forty minutes of sleep before my alarm went off and I had to drag my sorry arse back up. Judging by the still hot, half-drunk takeaway coffee sat on my counter, Mico and Alexi must have left not long before I woke.It was a surreal feeling to get up to an organised room and new shiny locks and bolts on every possible avenue into the apartment. I
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 90
I walk until I feel like I can’t anymore, not that I have got very far, and sit on a bench to try and regain some of my energy. Tired, fed up and drumming my brain on what I should do. My body is in no fit state for a hike, and I am so breathless and faint that walking all the way home looks like it’s going to take hours. I am moving at a snail’s pace.I still have to pick up a paper and start scanning the ads for a new job, figure out how the hell to keep my landlord at bay without resorting to oral pleasure and get home before it gets dark and too dodgy to be out and about my own neighbourhood.I am so stressed out already that the thought of curling up on this bench and going to sleep seems like a much better option. I have already lost all the excess heat from being in a steam room all morning, and I am starting to shiver as my body adjusts to being outside—which only serves to make me feel worse in general.I pull out my phone to see
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 91
‘When you put it like that.’ I cross my arms as though I have every intention of standing here all day and he sighs, moving off the frame and pulls the door with him with a look of ‘Okay then.’‘Knock when you want in. I’m busy.’ He makes a move to shut the door and I gawp in disbelief, angered at his arseholeness, and then lose my stubborn immediately as it gets dangerously close to being shut and lightning claps the sky overhead. A spark of intense light and head snapping crack above me that makes me yelp out. Heart attack imminent as rain follows in a sudden flash downpour.‘Wait!’ I half squeak half yell it at him as I make a dash forward, forgetting all resistance and run for safety, ducking down as though I may be struck at a distance by that bolt of scary in the sky and getting sodden for my efforts. I hate that he made me fold, well the weather did, and as the door swings open slowly again to acc
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 92
I had nothing my whole life. This place was everything—home, safety, security and warmth. It was all I ever wanted in my life. It doesn’t deserve to be neglected like this. These walls deserve care.Alexi just stands there, infuriatingly quiet, watching me, and I am not sure he even heard me. He just stares as I cry softly and stare at the mirror as though I can will it back into one piece. I am in so much internal pain and distress.‘Alexi!’ I yell at him, bringing myself back to tear my gaze away from the ruins. Frustrated and slamming the boudoir door behind me to close out the stench which is still wafting our way. I have no desire to check the others, and wipe a tear from my cheek that is rolling over my skin.She has destroyed my home. I won’t leave it like this, in the hands of some inadequate hoe bag. I won’t walk away and let it crumble into disrepair. I can practically hear its walls crying out for me to come save it
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 93
Alexi, for the first time, looks slightly uncomfortable, eyes flicking to his lap and a tiny frown, a moment of something I can’t read before they come back up to meet mine.‘Agreed … to a certain extent … I need you to still represent me and my name, Cam, which comes with restrictions.’ His voice is equally soft, quieter as he responds and the moment seems as far away from business as possible. As far away from Alexi and Camilla conversations as it could be. Another lengthy pause as I let his answer sink in and find my inner strength once more.I can never let him reel me back in, not with soft looks and tender tones. I know all his tricks.‘I know how to be discreet and how to behave, trust me to know how to do this without your direction. I am not part of this deal. I will be my own person and I can walk at any time. If you make me feel like you did, in any tiny way, then I won’t hesitate to leave you.’ I feel
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 94
Staring at the bathroom ceiling as I soak in the tub, feels like heaven on earth. Warm, clean and luxuriating as my aches and pains soothe away in a bath I can actually lay down in. Nothing scratching and poking into my skin under my body and no dirty brown, unhygienic and marginally warm water to contend with.Soft music from the apartment sound system is playing something classical, floating in the air around me as citrus-scented candles burn in the low light and creates the most relaxing atmosphere I have been in for months. I feel like I am a million miles away from the reality of how life was hitting me just twelve hours ago.It’s such a contrast to how I have been living and feels like my prayers have been answered. You truly appreciate things like this after struggling for so long.I’ve missed these rooms, this bathroom and the luxuries that come from being here in this world. I can barely keep my eyes open, fatigue swimming over me from lack
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 95
I wake up so late it’s crazy, after sleeping more than twelve hours and curse myself for not getting up and starting my day hours earlier, like I planned. It totally screws up all my good intentions for today as it’s blooming noon already. My hair appointment is at one so that gives me enough time to shower, dress and go out and get that done first before I even get a look in at anything else. My shopping trip and beauty treatments are all this afternoon, so I have that still to look forward to anyway. It’s just all my plans concerning details of the club that will have to wait.I obviously needed it. I do feel so much better, and falling asleep before eleven p.m. must have given my immune system a long overdue break as I don’t even feel anywhere near as ill as I have done these past days. It’s probably due to my healthier surroundings too, the sanitary conditions and some real food last night.I rarely had that when I was working in
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 96
It’s nice to finally be appreciated, even if it’s only because he was losing money. It’s something anyway. From worthless and not wanting me around, to actually being needed on my own merits and skills and nothing pertaining to sex. It gives me a little feeling of something warm, maybe pride and for the first time in my life, I feel a little worthwhile for a talent that has nothing to do with my body or my looks. Something to give that’s more than my flesh and something I can actually care about.‘I will max your card, just pre-warning you.’ I add in afterthought, another little prod at him. I may as well make the most of it while I can and Alexi brings those almost colourless eyes back to mine with another annoyed glance.‘Whatever; just be back before seven. I need to see you before I go. We didn’t finish talking.’I blanch at him.Whatever? He gave me a ten grand limit card, and
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