My suspicious brain immediately jumps to the worst kind of conclusions and I pale … blood running icy cold through my veins as my breathing labours.
The thought that maybe he wants me to finish the job I didn’t do very well last time I put a gun to my head flits through my mind. Maybe he’s arming me so next time I can just do it somewhere alone where he won’t have to sit and watch or feel obliged to intervene.
I try to pull my head out of the gutter, but my trembling hands and light head are hitting me with all sorts of warnings. Alexi doesn’t seem fazed at all.
‘It’s for you, take it. I need to show you how to handle it.’ He just carries on as though he’s oblivious to my complete freak-out.
‘I don’t want it!’ It’s out as fast as a lightning bolt, panic hitting hard, and no matter what he has going on in that clever head I am avoiding it at all costs.
‘I don’
Alexi looks at me for a long pause then softy exhales and looks down to break eye contact, eyebrows dipping further, and for a second, he just looks weary and almost human … A little lowering of his infernal armour to show something real. I just stay rooted to my spot, cradling my odd gifts against my chest and can’t look away from him.So much tension sizzling in the air.‘Do you think I would give you half my club if my intention was to hurt you again?’ He doesn’t look me in the eyes this time, eyes on his desk as he leans down and flattens his palm on the surface where I took a huge chunk out of the wood by throwing the gun on it, but he doesn’t look annoyed. He just rests on his arms and leans forward, losing that intimidation in this casual stance and I loosen my hold on the bundle in my arms.I don’t know why, but the change in atmosphere and the way he’s acting lowers my guard too, and for once I feel like
I went to bed earlier than I intended to last night, unable to deal with knowing he could turn up with some random slut and I wanted to be asleep before he did. I downed two sleeping pills to make sure I was oblivious to any sexual moaning or appearance of his playthings and woke up groggy before getting down here as fast as I could. I had no intention of awkward morning greetings either and even though I am tired and feeling listless, I submerge myself into sorting the club out.It’s cleaner and the brewery is restocking the basement as we speak. I have cases of foreign booze being shipped in and the kitchen is being filled with fresh ingredients to feed the staff. Joanne had stopped that service the second I was out the door, meaning no food was supplied at any point from the girls coming on or leaving twelve hours later.It’s a gruelling shift and not exactly convenient to pop out for takeout, and she should have thought about that before she started hav
The car park is less stuffy and a welcome break from the club indoors. Even with all its sexy lighting and modern exterior, it is still a huge black box that has little to no natural daylight inside and the way it is secured means it doesn’t ever have open windows for fresh air. It relies heavily on electrical lighting and air-con to keep the flow and temperature.It doesn’t compare to coming outside to just breathe and feel some real sun on your limbs. Something I did a lot of when working in the diner, inhaling fried grease all day long.I perch my butt on a low brick wall that juts out along in front of one the new metal fences. It used to be the old territory marker for where to park, but is pointless since he turned this into a hemmed in paddock and acts as a makeshift bench of sorts. Leaning my head back against the fence I slide my shoes off and stretch out my naked legs to warm in the sun for a while. My dress is knee length and rides up a little as
‘All it takes is one jerk to take that gun from me, in a fight or a fumble because I hesitate, or he’s just quicker and turns it back to become my end instead of my protection. I would rather not tip the balance of outcomes by carrying something that could be used on me, Alexi. It’s not me. I don’t want to walk around always aware of that thing under my dress, always worried that I might have need of it because it’s there. I know how my brain works, and if you make me walk around with it, I’m going to be a nervous wreck, always fixating on the fact it’s there. Let’s be honest, in your world, danger aimed at me is always going to be male and probably trained a lot better than I will ever be. It won’t be something that keeps me safe. It will make me feel the exact opposite.’ It’s not really the speech I had prepared last night because under that angry scrutiny of grey eyes piercing my skull it’s hard to thin
Alexi is acting differently, treating me differently. Yet, he is still the same as he always was to everyone else. Seeing glimpses of him like this is seeing glimpses into the person he is around Mico and his family when no one is around to be Mafia King for. The person Mico will openly question and argue with in private. Not the sadistic overbearing arsehole he is in public with him.The club is sparse right now because of the time of day and all the people in here are either non-important tenders or Carrero men on security detail. Carreros he knows well, mostly. Alexi is relaxed and off guard and not keeping up the manner of brooding Boss. He’s blanking me, but yet not bothering to put on any act with me in the room either.This can’t just be about running his club, can it? Watching him joke and laugh with his cousin reminds me of this morning, before I put him in a foul mood. Seeing hints of humour and good vibes I wonder if I have cross
‘London?’ Alexi’s voice makes me stop dead as I get to the hallway for the lift and my heart drops like a lead weight. He’s followed me, and I turn back, ready to face another yelling match or sadistic prick appearance. I’m just overwhelmed with whatever the hell that was between us back there and he’s clearly in the mood for putting women in their place today and functioning on high sexuality.And he called me London, which is usually not a good sign. I move slowly, inhaling heavily to reel in my chaotic hormones and face him, expecting the worst. He just looks calm, unemotional and unaffected in the way I am, which irritates me.One sided sexual tension then?‘You dropped this.’ He hands me a sheet of paper with my handwriting all over it, a list I have been ticking off as I work, and I sigh. A little relieved that’s all he followed me for, and bring my eyes back to his as I take i
I slide into the seat of the private jet, quietly laughing at the emblazoned gold ‘C’ logo on absolutely everything in a very amused manner that gets a shrug from Alexi. It’s not his plane but it belongs to his cousin or something, and I get a kick out of the familiar iconic mark everywhere. I have seen it on buildings in the city and on paperwork in the office sometimes. It’s not Alexi’s trademark, but the business tycoons in the family use it to solidify a brand. Carrero is a household name on a lot of high-quality products and services in the States.I move in and slump down into the moulded leather of the best aeroplane seat I have ever sat on in my life, enjoying the feeling of well-designed comfort as my weary bones unfurl. Even though this belongs to family; with his money I’m sure he could afford one of his own and wonder why he doesn’t. He travels enough to warrant it.I don’t understand the dynamics of the Carre
‘Adorable! Carrero men, we are so weak for them. Ciao Bella.’ She steps back to wiggle down the aisle back to her man and Alexi moves to let her slide in, getting another peck on the cheek as she passes. She pats him lovingly on the shoulder too.I can’t really say I have a right to feel jealous about the obvious affection, I mean she’s not the first ‘family’ member to say that they adore Alexi, and I guess they see something in him to feel that way.It’s just, I do. Insanely crazily, heart pounding in my chest feeling of hurt, watching how he interacts with other women who are not part of his world or games.It’s not that she’s touching him—it’s how he is behaving that slices me irreversibly.Women in his family whom he marked as out of bounds; He treats them with a kindness and respect that he has never shown me or any of the women I see in the club with hi