I catch the way he’s looking at me and I get it. He thought he knew love until he found it with the right person and my stomach somersault, a little jump of happiness, probably mildly inappropriate right now.
“I know, but I should’ve seen her what she was, the way she always twisted things, so she was the victim. For years, she had me hating you, believing that you broke her heart and she could never trust me because of it. Too stupid to realize it was all her and you were just as much a part of the fall out as I was.” He looks genuinely sorry. There’s something decent coming through about Ben, despite what I know of him and the past, underneath all that anger and rivalry is a guy that once meant a lot to Jake.
“And now? … Your obviously still in love her if you wanted to try again?” Jake watches Ben intensely and Ben shrugs.
“I was … Maybe I still am. I don’t know. I never could understand why
Getting into her apartment is easy enough; all Jake needs to do is bark two words into the intercom.“I’m here,” and she lets us in without any hesitation.Whore.She has the shock of her life when she answers the door, in nothing more than lace bra and panties under a see-through robe and is faced with two angry men and a seething little blonde girlfriend. All I can do is balk and take in her slutty attire, she truly believed he was coming to fuck her.What planet is she from?Marissa visibly steps back mouth gaping, before recovering her equilibrium, making no attempt at covering herself. She glances swiftly at Ben, noticing him seems to knock the wind out of her sails and she pulls her robe across her protruding bump.“What the fuck is this?!” She snap
“I never did I?” Jake sounds shocked. My head snaps up to him wondering what he sees close-up in that cocky whore’s face that I can’t. She hesitates and looks back at him, like she’s been caught, and she loses the mask for a millisecond. It quickly draws back up, but I think even Ben caught it, a tiny flicker of shit he knows.“Yes, you did,” she snaps a little too quickly. The flicker turns into a full-on twitch as she has trouble keeping her face under control.“No, I didn’t. I can tell when you’re lying to my face … I never had sex with you, did I?” Jake’s tone has completely dispersed, instead of rage he sounds shocked, something in his brain whirring and clicking. Figuring it all out, trying to work through the drunken haze of a night he still can’t remember.“Marissa? Surely even you couldn’t scrape as low as that?” Ben snorts in absolute disgust
“I can’t get my head around it.” Jake utters for the hundredth time as we lie in bed, our bodies entwined. My exhaustion has dissipated, giving way to mind-numbing silence after the events of the evening.We finally have freedom … from her.We’ve been home for a few hours and yet mostly all we’ve done is lie together and talk. Hours spent regurgitating the fact that there is no other baby, wondering how his family are going to react and how different things will be from now on without it hanging over us. It’s still too surreal to really believe and emotions between us have been swirling like crazy.“I can’t believe it’s over,” I exclaim out loud, hearing him sigh again. A happy heavy relief kind of noise.“Me either, it feels like it’s been consuming me … us
Nora is staying here aa housemaid since Jake’s going to be here at least once a week and Mathews is training the new security to be positioned here since we’ll be taking him to the new house; their choice of course, always so loyal to Jake.Jefferson will be keeping on driving Jake around when he’s here and Mathews will be spending time chauffeuring and protecting me in the Hamptons, as well as training the new security staff at the house. Jake has kept on the previous owner’s house staff and once we’re moved in, they’re all coming back to work as they did before. Jake has this all effortlessly organized and everything smoothly in place.I admit the thought of cooks and cleaners and chauffeurs is no longer something I balk at; a life looking after my child without the stress that most mothers endure sounds like heaven to me. I know how lucky I am not to have to worry about mundane house tasks or troubles with money. I am finally acce
Gazing up at the crappy brown building that houses “The Haven” homeless shelter, an internal wave of anxiety builds up inside of me, like an all-consuming black hole, now that I’m faced with old memories. Jake is standing behind me with hands on my shoulders, a kiss on my neck brings me back to the present.“Call me and I’ll come, okay?” His voice is a reminder that I can do this, I can be strong enough because of him.“I know. Now leave, before I change my mind about going to the hotel first.” I giggle as his hand skims my ass; he’s a tempting distraction to what I know I need to do.“If I’d known you were this torn about it, I would’ve applied a little more pressure.” He smirks wickedly, letting his hand trail lower under my dress. I laugh and shove him off playfully with my butt, which only serves to c
“No, actually I’m currently looking toward a new career. One more fulfilling in which I can help children who have been abused; like I was.” I lift my chin proudly, meeting her eye ready to take on her response in a non-emotional way. I am at peace with how I am going to handle this.Her eyes glaze over, and her eyebrow rises as she sighs, acting as though ‘little girl Emma’ is at it again, being over-dramatic, making herself out to be the poor defenseless, innocent child.She is no mother of mine. I can see it now. I’ll never call her my mom again; she’s never been deserving of the title. In the short time Sylvana has known me she’s been more of a mom to me than Jocelyn ever was.She’s pondering over how to respond, no doubt bringing memories of our last meeting fresh to her mind, afraid that raging and violent Emma may strop out again. That tiny trigger of annoyance builds higher at her silent pause.
I push the door open with one hand and pull out my phone with a heavy sigh, slowly inhaling as I inhale fresh air.I’m okay, I really am okay.I text Jake, asking him where he is, letting him know I’ll come to him. I need the air and the walk. I need the time to myself to let all that happened in that room sink in. I want to walk to him smiling, to show him that I’m so much stronger than I ever have been before.She never fought for me, she never told me she loved me, but then she never did.I’m not the one who is broken or unlovable, she is. Yes, I am scarred, but I’m healing, and I’ve finally found my way into arms I know will always be waiting for me.Jake is watching me over a mug of coffee in the small café. My tears have finally stopped. I’m not heartbroken, just resigned and letting go of all that pent-up emotion; part of me is relieved. There really are no other words for it. His eye
“I haven’t given you anything but me, and you've given me all of this.” I wave my arms around at the five-star hotel room, the ring on my finger and then run a hand down my stomach, finding his hand there and I entangle our fingers. “You gave me the fairy tale, the perfect sexy man, the crazy opulent lifestyle and the happy ever after, Jake, all I gave you was some scared girl so afraid to love.” Tears fill my eyes.“That is the most amazing gift you can give anyone. Having you is more than all this combined. You saved me from myself, from an empty life of parties, fame, women, and booze and driving myself into the ground with work. You gave my life meaning and feeling. You gave me a purpose and completion, Emma. I know it took a while for me to stop and realize that I had it all, but we’re here now and I promise that this is only the beginning, this will only get better. We have so much more to look forward to and this baby will chan