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258
I swallow it down in agitation and walk to the kitchen, to fix myself something to eat. I’ve found that I have a love of cooking now since I have all the time in the world to leisurely stand around in this beautiful chef’s dream. Sarah would love it. I’m sure she’d be proud of how domesticated I’ve become, knowing my way around a kitchen. I’m liking not having a cook until she returns at the end of the week, it’s somehow enjoyable making meals with love and caring precision for Jake and me to enjoy.
Maybe I’ll follow in Sylvana’s footsteps and cook for my own family once or twice a week like she does.
Soon the noise of drilling and male chatter and laughter annoys me enough to send me to my room for refuge, at least in here I can turn on the TV or run a bath and lock them all out. The large hall echoes around downstairs and amplifies it to incredibly ridiculous proportions. Somehow so much louder toda
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The Carrero Effect 259
I can’t stop yawning lately, good old pregnancy fatigue has been my worst enemy and I can’t even imagine trying to work like this. All I do is sit around, eat, sleep, or have sex. It really is awful when I think about the person I used to be. I know people often talk of baby-brain, but I didn’t think it affected someone this early. Jake has ruined me for the real world and going back to it will be absolute hell. It’s strange, I never imagined I would ever submit to being some pampered billionaire’s girlfriend … fiancée, but Jake is the king of pampering. He really does treat me like his queen.God, I love that man.I know it’s temporary though, once this little bundle comes and gets a little older, I have every intention of pursuing a new dream, a new career. I have no reason to live life this way, indefinitely. There is still a huge part of me that wants my own achievements, my own worth proven to myself by my
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The sensation of darkness hits me before any real pain does, and overwhelming dizziness, as my body buckles in front of him. My bones melt instantly, and I have no idea what is happening to me. He’s knocked me senseless but not completely out and he slips me over his shoulder limply and effortlessly.I’m fighting with my own consciousness to wake up and failing. There’s a dark haziness over me, I know what is happening, but I have zero ability to do anything about it, my body temporarily paralyzed, my willingness to fight locked inside my head. It feels like I’m dreaming, and all pain and fear has slipped aside. I can hear harsh whimpering mewls coming from somewhere and realize it’s my own voice. My inability to fight back and the fear inside of me blows up to dramatic proportions but I have no strength or courage to do anything.He is carrying me toward the stairs, effortlessly
The Carrero Effect 261
There’s a deafening thud, an echoing and eerie silence as a breath escapes him and then nothing. His body lies motionless, his hand on my ankle drops loose over my injury and I kick it away with my other foot hastily.I’m crouching at an odd angle, still gripping the bar so tightly that my nails have pierced my own palms, breathing so hard it’s painful and making me dizzy. I turn to stare at the bulky form in the dusky light and something inside of me snaps. All fear and flight go out of me and emotionless clarity and sense come over me; a dark sense of quiet calming stillness, followed by a moment of completely detached pause and I listen to the long slow steady breaths from his almost lifeless body.If I leave him this way to go and get help, he could get away, he could wake up and run or he could catch me before I get anywhere. He will never stop comin
The Carrero Effect 262
It all happens so fast that it’s like a dream, the car sweeping past as I gaze out of the open door hazily, distant enough to be a blur but close enough to see it turn this way. Headlights turning to blind me painfully as the wailing of the house alarm becomes almost unbearable. My consciousness giving way as the pulsing aches and ripples through my abdomen course along my legs and up my front, making my jaw ache. The warmth between my legs causing my heart break and silent tears pour down my face. I can no longer move or cry, immobilized and cradling her to me, begging her to stay. My head is foggy as the ache starts to devour me slowly, like a wave of numbness moving in.It’s just the two of us cocooned together in a safe little bubble of non-reality; together and holding on in the hopes of coming out of this okay, of never being parted.The blur is Giovanni running toward me, a dark expression of concern on his face and his familiar wide shoulders, like
The Carrero Effect 263
I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le
The Carrero Effect 264
I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
The Carrero Effect 265
“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
The Carrero Effect 266
I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
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