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55
“Why?”
I don’t know.Jake called me it before, and I felt like he was talking to a puppy. Maybe it’s calling me “girl” … Ray called me girl. Stupid, slutty, cock teasing, little girl. I always hated it.“Just don’t …” I flinch as he smiles and slowly pulls me the rest of the way to cuddle me; I’m on my feet against him. It’s unexpected and so gentle and I’m instantly sagging into his body greedily. Held solidly in a bear hug. When he loosens his hold to let me go, I stumble backward, grabbing onto him, but the sheer suddenness of it catches him off guard. His own drunken stupor causing a loss of balance. He leans forward to steady me, catch me, losing his footing too.Somehow, we both end up falling flat on the bed behind me. Him on top of me, nose to nose, and laughing like fools at the awkwardness of our ungraceful collapse. His face so close, like the night we shared a bed, hRelated chapters
The Carrero Effect 56
I’m grasping the rail with white knuckles and leaning over, scanning the dark sea frantically. The ship’s crew are out on small boats searching the water and Jake’s already dove in and swam back twice. I’m hysterical about the fact he’s this drunk and yet swimming to find his friend in an almost pitch-black ocean. Watching the water with fear gripping my throat, holding my breath with every dive he takes and willing them to find him so Jake will get out of the water. I’ve never been so terrified in my life that I can barely move.“He’s here, Mr. Carrero.” Yells one of the crew from the lifeboat; I spin to them, flashlights illuminating the hauling of a lifeless body into it under the moonlight.Oh my god.* * *I’m sitting in my room and I’m tired and cold, I haven’t slept. Last night was hell, Daniel was airlifted to a hospital on the mainland, he’s okay but it gave all of us a hug
The Carrero Effect 57
“Are you ever going to just learn to let go when you’re sober, Miss. Anderson?” His voice is hoarse from tiredness, the change in its normally clear tone is devastatingly alluring.“What do you mean?” I blanche.“I can feel you … Stiffer than a board …Why so formal after last night?” He smiles again, tickling the skin at my shoulder with his mouth and breath, his tone flirty. I wasn’t expecting this kind of conversation, especially after the kitchen kiss. I want the kitchen kiss conversation, the “sorry we were drunk, it never happened” speech. I’ve no clue what to say, so I swallow and chew my lip, twisting my hair; practically ripping the strand from my scalp. He reaches up, still with closed eyes and tugs my hand out of it. He has that annoying habit perfected nowadays; he can even do it when not looking.“Relax, I only want to sleep,” he mumbles, returning his arm to its pr
The Carrero Effect 58
I check my reflection noting I’ve caught the sun majorly during my time here. I’m glowing and tanned. My hair has developed some new light highlights among my chemical ones, which catch the light, giving me a blonder look. I grab my bag and chuck in the normal essentials; cell, book, sun cream, sunglasses, despite Jake’s being on the dresser. I put them back on my face instead of my own, I like having them on as a reminder of how well he takes care of me.I’m ready and I meet him back on deck quickly. Now I can see him standing and not cast in shadow; he’s in jeans and a T-shirt, with that superman body, his hair is still damp. He’s had a shower or been for a swim before he woke me. He appears relaxed and casual, as usual. I’m always in awe of the way his clothes sculpt his powerful body, it should be illegal to look that good in everyday wear.He smiles as I close the gap between us, he automatically ruffles my hair, lingering to
The Carrero Effect 59
Because he’s hit a nerve and it hurts, and I hate him for it, hate him for stripping me bare. I don’t get a second of warning before he bridges the gap, instantly molding his mouth to mine, completely unexpected.His lips are warm and soft and swiftly push mine apart. His tongue in my mouth, caressing, and it feels like heaven, instantly crushing my defenses and melting my armor. His hands get buried in my loose under layer of my hair and I kiss him back, tangling my fingers in the collar of his shirt so I can pull him closer, instinct taking over. Breathing heavily, getting lost in the sensation of his touch, that sensual mouth which does amazing things to my very soul. We both moan lightly as the kiss deepens, my stomach lurching with desire and I almost let go.My head reels around full circle as though trying to slap some sense into me and somehow, I mentally recoil. I can’t do this; I can’t. Yet I can’t stop, it’s addictive as
The Carrero Effect 60
“Where is this going?” I plead; I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to have this type of psycho babbling conversation with Jake. Especially when he’s being so weird, so pissy.How did we even get to this? Why is he so obsessed over this? Freaking Jekyll Jake and his neck breaking mood swings.“It hurt you.” His eyes come to rest on me, his face endearing and open. All anger gone, but it only makes me want to cry, so I look away, crossing my arms around my body protectively. His expression claws at my heart.“It’s the past and it should stay there.” There’s a strong sting in my eyes but he won’t make me cry again. My heart aching with everything he is trying to pull out of me.What’s wrong with him? Is this what he’s after? Tears, confessions?I move away and turn my back on him, it’s better when I can’t see him. Can’t see that look in his eye.“
The Carrero Effect 61
The others are up on deck, lazing around and eating a cold buffet that has been set out on a long, low table by the loungers; it looks awesome and my stomach rumbles, despite the anxious tension between Jake and me. It’s a welcome distraction and I head straight for it to pile myself a plate, deliberately ignoring him behind me.“Oh, the love birds have returned.” Leila squeals and almost throws herself into my arms for a hug. I cast her a warning look, but she doesn’t seem to notice.“We went for a drive.” Jake’s broody tone comes from far behind me, as though he’s still standing at the top of the stairs to the deck, I ignore him. Leila casts a worried glance behind me, then back at me, but she keeps her mouth closed. I hear his footsteps as he leaves and heads down to the second floor and I’m relieved. We could do with some time apart to get over whatever this is between us; I can’t even begin to dissect the pas
The Carrero Effect 62
When did this happen? When did my feelings spill beyond friendship this badly?I’ve seen him with other women …He’s always been this way, when did I start reacting like this? Breaking my heart over him being his Casanova self.“Tell the others, after I’m gone, I had to go away for a couple of days.” He’s picking up his suitcase, his body stiff with tension and the hatred oozing between us is unbearable.“What reason shall I give?” I sound alien. This fake politeness between us, thick in the stifling air. We’re both exceptionally good at cold and polite.“I don’t give a shit, Emma … The truth for all I care.” He flexes his eyebrows sardonically.That was a blow … it hurt; it knocked the wind out of my sails. I move back as he stalks out with suitcase in hand, he slides his shades on, despite it being duller in here and he doesn’t even look at me; he seems
The Carrero Effect 63
What has Jake done to me? Why is he doing this to me now?My mind is a messy scramble of thoughts and emotions, half of which make no sense and I’m dying inside.I didn’t drink before Jake Carrero, I didn’t like how it made me feel. Like I lost control. I never kissed men ever, because all it did was bring back memories that make me feel ill. Never wanted anyone sexually, or even felt turned on by anyone before Jake.I never opened up and told anyone the things I’ve told him. I never kicked back and just let go, relaxed and had fun, before him. Never took my hair down, let alone cut it. I never cried, and now I can’t seem to stop.Jake has slowly unraveled me, and he has no clue. He has no idea the depth in which he has infected me, changed me. That damn Carrero and his effects on me can’t be reversed.I keep people at arm’s length, even Sarah … She’s my best friend, yet I’ve never told her anythin
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