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I’ll hurt her; I’ll inflict pain on my girl in the worst possible way. But then, it’s not the same kind of pain. We have never really begun, and her love for me isn’t exactly clear cut, or black and white in the slightest. We have never explored it at all, and it could be nothing more than a dependency because of her past, because of what I have been to her when she needed that strength in someone else, and we might not even work. There is no guarantee that moving us from this to lovers would be successful, in fact, the last weeks have shown me that adding love and lust to this mix makes Sophie and I fight a hell of a lot more than we ever did. That we’re being hauled apart by it.

We have a bond that runs deep, and I should leave it alone, keep what we have and not chance losing us for some sexual gratitude and what ifs. I need to work on getting us past this, without altering or ruining what we have. She needs me to be the friend I have always b