I woke in his bed. The sun is just starting to peak through the window of his bedroom casting a soft pink light. Luke is laying on his back, one arm behind his head, and the other is under mine. I realize I'm tucked into his tightly, his hand firmly across my hip, anchoring me in place. His face is soft and his breath is slow and deep. I don't want to move, for fear of disturbing him. I allow myself to lay next to him as memories of the night before flood my mind.
I dont know what came over me. I woke last night with a horrible feeling crushing my chest. I really didn't remember what the dream was about but I felt sick and sweaty. On instinct I had woken Luke up. And once I was in his bed everything else faded away. I knew it was silly and irrational, and I knew the only reason I was probably having these feelings was because of last night; I just couldn't help it. His eyes looked so open, and the way he looked at me had my stomach in tense knots. I wanted to know aThe music is loud and I feel it inside of my body. After we made a lap around the house talking to people that Tyler knew, it became super on that I was the youngest person at the party. Anxiety welled inside of me as I tried to keep up in conversation. But after 2 more shots Tler dragged me out to the dance floor. The beat was wild and exciting, and he kept me close to his body, moving himself and pressing or pulling me until I got the hang of what he wanted. There were lots of other people around us, each moving with another partner or in a group. The longer we danced the more my inhibitions fell. Tyler kept one hand always pressed into the small of my back to bring me closer to him. At one point he picked me up around the waist and spun us around. I threw my head back and laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck to keep from falling over. When he set me back down I left my arms where they were and he took my hips in his strong hands. We fit together well, and I liked the way he
The rest of the weekend, and the following week dragged. Saturday I made up some lame excuse to get out of going to see Tiffany. I knew she didn't buy it, but I didn't really care. It's not like I could make her much angrier at me. We weren't dating so I didn't see why she was so pissed in the first place. I mean I get it— I left with another girl and she feels put out, but after checking social media it was pretty obvious I didn't dampen her mood too much. Monday at school I discovered very quickly that Shea was avoiding me. It took me until lunchtime to even catch a glimpse of her. We never got to talk Saturday morning about what happened and I was hoping I could convince her to get coffee with me at some point this week to talk. swim practice was hell, and I stared daggers at Jake any time he was around. Everything was off.So when I got invited to another party Friday night I declined. I didn't really care for them anyway. But specifically this week I woul
(Potential TW for disordered eating) I planned to stay home all weekend. I knew I'd been avoiding Luke, and in a way Eva too. But she didn't say anything about it. Tiffany was staring daggers at me in the halls and I could see her whispering to her friends any time I walked by.So I just kept my head down. I definitely didn't need this kind of attention. Since freshman year I had done my best to stay out of everyone's line of sight. I knew what they said about me. I knew the lies Tyler and his friends had spread around.When I walked into my house Friday though, I was greeted by silence. My mom worked at a bar downtown on the weekends, and my dad hated it. But she loved it there. As long as I could remember my mom had worked there. She said she stayed for the customers, and that if she quit now the place would close down. That left weekends to me and my dad."Dad?" I called out, walking into the kitchen. &nb
The car ride was stifling. Tyler barely said anything to me the whole drive back to my house."I'm sorry." I said again, when we were pulling into my neighborhood."Shea." He said with an irritated sigh. "It's fine. Apparently our signals were a little crossed.""But they're not." I argued. It felt like he was slipping away from me, and that was causing me to panic a bit."I think so though. I mean... obviously I like you a little more than you like me.""That's not true." I could feel my voice raise slightly because I liked him a lot. He was beautiful, and so many people liked him, and he was choosing to hang with me. Maybe I really was a bore."Well, what am I supposed to think? You freaked out as soon as I tried to touch you. That doesn't exactly put me in the headspace to think you're into me."I was reeling a little. I felt slapped that just because I was a bit squeamish about sex he questioned whether or not I li
I felt the change a split second before Shea stopped me. I don't know what came over me to begin with. I knew it was a bad idea to answer the door in a towel. I knew it was Shea. But part of me wanted to know what she was going to do. I wanted to know how she would react. I was tired of being ignored all week. I wanted to touch her. And when she touched me, it was like I blacked out for a second.Her mouth was sweet. She responded to my touch with all of the passion I felt bubbling up inside myself. And when she wrapped her arms around my waist I thought my brain might explode. My dick ached pressed into her, and I was fantasizing about how it would feel pressed inside of her when I felt her whole body stiffen.I knew it was too much too fast, but when she started to shake I wanted to kick myself. I'd seen the way Jacob's advances had shaken her. I should have been more careful.I held her. Letting us both catch our breath. I watched her
The right side of my body tingled with hypersensitivity to the heat radiating off of Luke sitting next to me. I can scarcely pay attention to the movie with him so close. That kiss earlier had rocketed me to new places, and it scared me just as much as it thrilled me. Some part of me couldn't believe that I had let him get as close as he did. It shocked me that my body was just as willing as my brain was to let him close.Another part of me loathed the memories that stirred up inside of me and I hated that I stopped him. I wanted so desperately to see what his hot mouth felt like all over my body. But I had so many secrets buried so deeply. I don't think they'd let me get much closer without threatening to topple my self-preservation. But part of me wanted to know if Luke would be worth the ruin. But could I risk ruining his reputation as well? I know we needed to talk. But I didn't trust myself to be alone with him—which is why I wanted so desperately t
When I got to school the next morning Tyler was waiting by my locker with a huge smile on his face. I tried to keep my own excitement at bay as he folded me into a hug in front of everyone around us. I knew all of the girls in my grade stared open-mouthed as I embraced him back."I wanted to apologize for last night." He whispered into my hair.Goosebumps broke out on my arms and neck at his words. "It's fine." I swallowed the lump in my throat.He pulled back from me, his usual cocky smile spread across his face. "Want to hang out again this weekend? I'm thinking of throwing a little party at my house. My parents are out of town.""That sounds fun, I'll see if I can come!"He smiles again at me and brushes my dark hair back from my face. He doesn't say anything else as he casually leans back against the lockers, shoving his hands into his pockets. I peer at him through the corning of my eye as I get my books out of my locker and
It's well after midnight when I finally decide to lay down. I know I will regret it in the morning when I have swim practice, but part of me was hoping Shea would somehow wind up back in my room. When it's obvious she isn't coming I lay down. Sleep comes slowly and it's a fitful rest.My alarm goes off well before I'm actually ready to get up, and I roll out of bed stiffly. I throw on my swimsuit and a pair of sweats and sweatshirt before heading downstairs.It's just after 5 am and the kitchen light is on. I half expect to see Shea sitting at the breakfast bar, so you can imagine my shock when it's my sister. She's staring out the picture window over the sink and looks as though she never went to bed."Ev, what's going on? Are you okay?"She startles and looks at me as though I'm the one who's in the wrong place, and not like she's the one who's up before a normal time on a Saturday.Her eyes focus on mine, but she doesn't