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Chapter 27: The Party

I still have no idea how Luca does this to me, how he brings out an angry side that I didn't know I had.

My mood bounces all over the place as I get ready for the party. A cold shower helps, but only a little. One moment I feel ashamed and embarrassed, the next I'm back to being pissed - pissed at myself and at Luca. Everything is a joke to him. Sometimes I wonder if he has real feelings, or if he's gotten so good at the fake ones that he's forgotten what the genuine ones are like.

An image of him hunched over next to the pool floats to the front of my mind. He seemed to be feeling something genuine enough then. But if he's not going to show any real emotions around other people - around me - how am I supposed to respond?

I do some of Dad's breathing exercises as I pull on my dress. I need to calm myself down before the party. There are going to be a lot of important industry people there tonight, and Luca and I need to present a united front, even if I'm still reeling on the inside
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