Relief washes over me as I slide into Ashlyn's car. I'm blocked from Rafe's line of sight, and his hold on me evaporates slightly."Are you good?" Ashlyn asks, glancing out her window. "We better go now or Rafe's going to come down here and carry you off over his shoulder.""You think?""All I know is that when Dante looks at me that way, there's no way he's letting me walk away from him." She smiles. "You've really done a number on him, haven't you?""Not on purpose." I pull my seatbelt on as Ashlyn pulls back down the driveway. "He didn't want me to come. He's afraid to let me out of his sight, especially in public.""Because of the paparazzi? They're curious about you, yes, but we should be fine. No one's going to recognize you from a few fuzzy tabloid photos, especially if you're out without Rafe.""What about you? Will they recognize you?""Oh, sure. But no one really cares about me. Back when Dante and I got together, sure. But not now. I'm not famous on my own, and there'
The man jumps about a foot in the air. Rafe is suddenly beside him, glaring down at him with a fury I've never seen in his eyes before."Easy, buddy," the bearded man says. "I was just trying to buy her a drink.""She's not available for drinks," Rafe says. "Or anything else."The man shrugs, obviously shaken but trying to look casual. "How was I supposed to know that? She was flirting with me."I start to defend myself, but there's no need. Rafe grabs the man by the front of his shirt, lifting him up onto his toes."Is that right?" he growls, his voice like thunder."She batted her eyelashes at me when she passed," the man says breathlessly, trying to free himself from Rafe's grip. "She was teasing me.""And I told you she isn't available."The man is still squirming. "I prefer to let the lady make that choice."That only pisses Rafe off even more. He nearly lifts the man off the ground."She isn't available," he says. "Not now or ever. She's mine, do you hear me?""Rafe."
My heart is galloping, threatening to burst right out of my chest. My breath is ragged. My skin is suddenly very warm, aching for his touch.He leans closer, never touching me, but closing the distance between us in one slow, deliberate movement. Heat rolls off him in waves, and my skin prickles all over. I try to tear my eyes away from his, but I can't."Do you really want to pretend I don't have any sway over you?" he asks in those rich, deep tones of his. His voice is like a caress, sliding up and down my body. "Do you want to pretend that you don't want me as much as I want you?"It takes a moment to find my voice."It's...just physical," I manage. "It's lust. People feel it all the time. With lots of other people.""So this is ordinary to you?" he says. "This heat between us? You feel this all the time for other men?""No," I say quickly. "I'm not... I mean, that's not what I meant. Do I feel lust for you? Yes." Just admitting that out loud makes me ache between my thighs. "
This is dangerous. I need to take care of myself - need to guard myself against him somehow. But how? He can completely undo me with a single touch.When we reach Rafe's house, I'm still a little light-headed. Hot and heavy sex will do that to you. As I try to clear the brain fog, Rafe puts a warm, steady hand on my waist."I'm going to go hop in the shower," he says. "Care to join me?"It will be more than a shower, I know."I'm going to go grab a glass of water first," I say. "I'll join you in a minute."He dips his head and bites me right where my neck meets my shoulder. I gasp in pleasure, and he releases me with a devilish grin on his face. He wants to make sure I'm still aching for him before he walks away.It's on wobbly legs that I make my way to the kitchen. I grab a glass of water and fill it at the faucet, wondering why I can't seem to escape this complicated mess. As I wait for my glass to fill, I look down at my belly. I spread my fingers and press my hand against it
I stumble into one of the downstairs bathrooms, my stomach heaving. But when I bend over the toilet, nothing comes up.It actually explains a lot, the drugs. It explains why Rafe has been so secretive about who he is outside of the time he spends with me. And why he got so upset that I'd researched him online - maybe one of his arrests was drug related, or maybe his habit was openly discussed in the tabloids. Why didn't Cynthia warn me about that? Why didn't Ashlyn?It also may explain the mysterious man who keeps showing up where Rafe is. What if he's Rafe's dealer? He certainly looked the part. Or worse - what if Rafe is his dealer? Maybe acting and modeling isn't wild or dangerous enough for Rafe and he started a little side business just to entertain himself.I understand now why he's been so closed-mouthed about all of this. He knew it would be a deal-breaker, that I'd never agree to raise my baby around someone actively involved with drugs.I'm so sorry, sweet one, I think. I
I wait until the middle of the night to leave. I know he deserves better, but I don't trust myself to actually walk away if I have to do it face-to-face.Carefully, I pull away from the circle of his arms. His breathing is steady and deep, and he hardly even stirs as I quietly slip out of bed. I gather my few things and quickly dress. I've been debating whether or not to leave him a note, to tell him where I've gone and why. It feels less cowardly, somehow, to write him a message, even if I'm still sneaking away while he's asleep.I pause next to the bed, looking down at him. He looks so big and strong, even when he's asleep, but there's a slight softness about him, too. It's that softness that makes my heart ache now.Against my better judgment, I lean down over him, brushing my lips softly against his brow."Goodbye," I whisper.Then I sneak quietly out the bedroom door.I make it about ten paces before I first have to fight the urge to turn back. But I place my hand on my bell
- THREE DAYS LATER - This is how air is supposed to smell. Funny, that that's the first thing I notice when I step outside my door. I'd forgotten what fresh, clean air smells like. How it feels on my skin. If I close my eyes, I can pick out all the pieces of it - the faint scent of spruce, the hint of moisture that means we'll have rain sometime during the night, the crisp coolness the wind picks up in its trip across the valley.I knew I missed home, but now I wonder how I ever survived away from it for so long. There's a peacefulness here, a wildness that makes me feel like everything is going to be all right.Some of the time, anyway.Now I just have to stop missing Rafe. There's a familiar pang of loss in my stomach, but I ignore it and head to work. I feel like I'm doing that a lot these days – shoving down the feelings I don't know how to deal with right now.Even the Dandelion Diner looks more cheerful than I remember. The fluorescent lights on the sign welcome me back wit
Very quickly, my life falls into a pattern again - work, sleep, chores around the house, errands. After the first week, people seem to realize that I'm not on the cusp of a breakdown, and many of them begin to acknowledge the baby. Men hold doors open for me, women ask how I'm feeling, and I receive a couple of anonymous gifts on my doorstep - a bundle of hand-me-down baby clothes, tied up in a soft blanket, and a few care-worn books about pregnancy and baby care. I feel a tinge of heartache at the sight of the books - they remind me of the ones on Rafe's desk - so I set them aside for the time being. There's still plenty of time to come back to them later.See? I tell myself on the ninth day after my return. You don't need him. You already have all of the support you need right here. I rub my hand across my softly rounded belly. We'll make it, sweet one. One way or another.I can almost believe that, at least when I'm awake. Every morning, when I fall into my bed to sleep, I dream o