Chapter 24: From Bad Date To Worst Date

The date doesn't get better. But it doesn't get worse, either. It's just... fine. A pleasant meal with a pleasant man. But as we prattle on about general, innocuous things, Dante's words about what I need keep coming back to me. My conversations with Dante have never been just pleasant. They aren't always good - some of our recent interactions spring to mind - but they were never just conversations. They were always something more - a startling connection, a sharing of energy, a meeting of two sparks of life. I never really thought about them in that way when Dante and I were together, but it's hard not to recognize it now, when all of it is missing with Dean.

But I'm not with Dante, and I don't want to be with him - in any way - ever again. I was lonely when I met him - so unbearably lonely that I'd hidden it even from myself - and he'd been there. He'd started to fill in the empty spaces inside of me. I became dependent on him. If it hadn't been him, it would have been someone else.