Morning doesn't bring much relief.I wake with a knot in my stomach. I don't think I can face the bakery today - and frankly, I know it's unfair to ask Jilly or Mama Pat or Karen to, either. After taking several deep breaths, I turn on my phone. There are at least a dozen new messages waiting for me, but I ignore them. I call my employees and let them know that the shop will be closed today. That gives me a little bit of relief, at least.Right after I've hung up with Karen, my phone rings. My stomach seizes, but then I see that it's only Dante. Relief floods me as I answer."Ash? Are you all right?" he says immediately. "My publicist told me the news broke.""Oh, I - I'm fine," I say. Still a little stunned, but holding together. "Yeah, I guess it did.""I tried calling you multiple times last night. They sent me to Vegas for a press thing, or I would have come over to make sure you were all right." There's a hint of darkness in his tone. "You are all right, aren't you?"Just he
Somehow Dante and I make it off my doorstep and into the house. He manages to press me up against the wall without breaking the kiss. I'm not sure if seconds or minutes or even hours have passed. I only know that kissing him is life. It's an explosion of passion that threatens to consume me.When he finally pulls back, I'm dazed and fuzzy-minded with pleasure. I lean my head back against the wall, eyes still closed, as he brushes one last soft kiss against the corner of my mouth. There's a brief pause, and then suddenly he lets out a laugh.God, that laugh. That rare, beautiful sound makes me go soft all over. I open my eyes to see what's causing that marvelous, heart-swelling, intoxicating reaction, but when I do, my eyes go straight to his lips - and the enormous smear of Blood Orchid Red across them. His entire mouth is smudged with it. And the skin surrounding his mouth. And his chin. And even parts of his cheeks, though I don't remember my lips ever going there.He's still laug
"What did they do?" Dante repeats."Nothing," I say. "Nothing I shouldn't have expected, at least. I'm just not used to this."His mouth is tight. For a moment, he doesn't say anything. And then, "I was afraid of this.""I can handle it," I tell him again. "But this is all happening so quickly. I never thought it would be easy, but I also wasn't expecting everything to change so drastically overnight. To go from a nobody to... to whatever I am now. In only a few days my whole life has changed, and we're only just getting to know each other again, and I just want... I just want..." A few moments to think. Some room to breathe, away from the curious eyes of the press and public. To run away with Dante to a place where they'll never find us. "This is what you were trying to avoid back then, wasn't it?"He gives a single nod, but though I've just admitted that he was right, he doesn't look the least bit smug - or even satisfied."Why don't we go?" he says softly.I shake my head. "Th
"Men were threatening you?" Dante demands. "Men you know?" His voice is so strained that he hardly even sounds like himself.I shake my head. "Strangers."The muscles of his chest are rigid beneath my hands. He doesn't move - doesn't even breathe - for a full minute."Why didn't you tell me this?" he demands finally. His eyes bore into me."I knew it would upset you.""Of course it upsets me!""Well, it's not like there's anything we can do about it," I say."You still should have told me." He releases me and turns away, his hands going to his hair."What good has it done, telling you?" I say. "You don't tell me everything, either. We've just started seeing each other again. It's okay to still have some secrets."He turns back toward me. "And what secrets do you think I'm hiding from you?""Not secrets, necessarily," I say. "But you dodge all of my questions about your work." Between the tense phone calls and his odd behavior at the studio, something is definitely going on.
I wake to the soft in-and-out of Dante's breath against my cheek.We're in his bed, and for once, I've woken before him. My body is draped across his, and his chest rises and falls beneath my arm. I can feel his slow, steady heartbeat beneath the pads of my fingers.For a long moment, I just lie there and stare at him. Watch the slight flutter of his dark lashes against his cheeks. Admire the long, hard lines of his body. He has a habit of kicking the sheets off while he sleeps, so most of his well-muscled form is in view. I let my fingers drift across the plane of his chest, following the path my mouth took last night. It must be close to dawn because the light that leaks in through the window is pale pink against his skin.I'm not sure how long I lie there watching him. My body feels languid, content. Any tension or anxiety I felt last night disappeared beneath Dante's passionate touch. I feel like we could take on the world together.We left the window cracked last night, and a
I can tell the exact moment Dante's eyes land on the sheet of paper because his fingers freeze. "Where did you get that?""Your notes blew off the table and I was picking them up." I shouldn't have looked at them, I know, but it's too late for such regrets. "Is this a character in your script? You're using this? Using me?"He doesn't speak for a long moment. Too long. And when the words finally come, he talks slowly, as if choosing every word carefully. "Writers use real people as inspiration sometimes, Ash. It helps us create characters that feel authentic. But a lot of influences go into a character. Bits and pieces from different people and different experiences."I'm still frozen in his arms. "Her name is Ashley.""That was the director's decision. It's his girlfriend's name - purely a coincidence.""But this note about me isn't a coincidence. You have a comment about her running a bakery... about her having emotional baggage..." But my eyes keep going back to the weaknesses:
Mama Pat is my savior. She picks me up from Dante's house, and I don't think I've ever been happier to have a mama hen in my entire life.The moment I slide into her car she looks me up and down. "Need to talk about it, honey?"I shake my head. If I say a word about Dante, I'll lose my carefully maintained self-control, and I'm barely holding myself together as it is."Thank you for coming to get me," I tell her. "Normally I'd have called Jack, but he and I aren't exactly on good terms right now.""You know I'm always here for you, my dear."I do know. Mama Pat's been the closest thing I've had to a mother since my own died, and something about the way she's looking at me now - with compassion and understanding - softens me. I need a friend, a mom, right now."I'm an idiot," I say, leaning my head against the car window. "I should have known I wasn't strong enough to handle this. I knew I was being stupid and emotional... but I let myself fall right back into his arms.""Don't b
My "vacation" doesn't leave me feeling much better.Sure, I get plenty of food and plenty of sleep - and both Mama Pat and her husband are kind, generous hosts - but my heart still feels heavy. I feel lost. Dragged out by a rip tide. And I'm not sure what to do but continue to push on. The moment I heard back from Jack - he agreed to meet for lunch this coming week, thank goodness - I switched off my phone. I've avoided television and the internet. I need time to think.But thinking is hard when I'm like this. Every time I close my eyes I feel Dante's arms around me. Feel his lips against mine. Feel his fingers on my skin. Sometimes, I let myself sink into those fantasies. But every time I do, the feelings of love and desire are quickly drowned beneath a rush of pain and fear. I love him. I love him so much I don't know what to do with myself. He holds my heart in his hands, could break it without any effort at all - and he knows exactly where my weak spots are. I hate that he has th