My conscience made my heart feel dragging and I could not concentrate doing my Sunday sermon tomorrow morning. My thoughts still lingered on that night I confronted Elianna that I was not single but a married person. I would be liable to God the things I had done to her especially to her family which I had already established relationship since I was assigned as intern pastor in their community a year ago. I did not expect that I was able to meet Eliana and her family again since I was transferred to another high school. After my graduation in theology, I was assigned to be the youth pastor in one of the local churches in the city.
Eliana and her family members were devoted Catholics yet I was able to invite them in the church. Though his father was firm to remain to his faith, Eliana and her mother became regular attendees in the
How would I tell Miguel that I am conceiving to our child? I asked. I bought this pregnancy test which turned out to be positive. I was so supposed to tell him that day he confessed me that he was not single where in fact he was a married person. How could he ever keep such lies to me and even to the people he was dealing with. No one knew about this except my sister Aileen whom she was surprised but I was happy that she could be trusted. It’s Sunday and for sure Miguel would be having his preaching today. Wait, I smelled something. “Eliana!” my Mudra had called me, “the rice you cook on the pot smelled burning!” Without responding to my mother, I hu
Hi, Amina—the name given by my mother who loves me and sees me like an angel to her eyes. I am now seven years old and I loved playing alone along with the tons of toys bought by Uncle Martin who treated me like her real daughter and I appreciated his efforts to make my mother happy. I remembered how Uncle Martin taught my mother how to drive a truck loaded with logs to be delivered to different areas in Sandakan, Malaysia. I was just in the backseat and enjoying the views of moving cotton clouds, the synchrony of birds flying above the sky, the scenery of each mountain we passed by from the windows of the truck. I felt how bumpy the roads were, and I was just trying to be in sync with the motions. The smile sketched on my face was priceless. I did not know why I felt the joy but I just went with the flow of time. 
It had been three months ago since I was turned over by my mother to her elder sister who told her to grab the opportunity to work abroad in Middle East. Every night, the moon witnessed my tears falling behind the window of my room and I asked back in silence when I would see my mother again. I badly missed my mother—her smile, her voice that made me experience the safety of her presence. I also recalled my playmates in Malaysia and I remembered what my friend told me to look up the sky where the moon brightly shone to manifest that we saw the same moon despite the long distance we had. I hoped my friend would not forget to take a glimpse to the moon. “Are you okay?” asked Jessy, my first cousin, eldest daughter of my aunt Aileen and I was just two years older than her. I quickly wiped my eyes with my right arm and long deep sigh was the only response my cousin heard.
The night filled the symphony of the crickets along with the cooling air of the rain. The curtains waved back and forth which led my tears suddenly to fall down in the longing of my mother’s presence. I just missed her. It had been a while since she left for abroad. I had not received any news from her. I hope she was doing fine. If only mother would be here for me and hug me in times, I wanted solace from the warmth of her voice. I stepped out from the room and checked if everyone was already asleep including Jessy, my cousin. I felt that my throat had dried up so I decided to go the kitchen and have some glass of water. The refreshing gulp glided into the mouth. I really loved this feeling, though. In the silence of the room, I heard a littlest sound reverberating against the wall. I moved closer near the wall and glued my
I coughed as I had smoked in my last cigarette stick and threw it inside the flowerpot.“Sweety, I have to go and I will see you around and I love you.” I whispered. As I stood, I deleted immediately her registered number in the history calls.The acridity of the cigarette was still evident around the Balcony. I checked my watch. 10:23 P.M. Time for me to go down.As I was about to go inside our room, I had noticed that Aileen my wife was talking inside the room of Amina.I came closer and stayed near the door without being unnoticed.It seemed that they were very serious. I did not know what was going on.I was taken aback when Aileen stood before me.“Oh, Mon. I thought you’re already in our room now but it seems you are still outside. Busy calling someone at your phone?”Did Amina know and tell Aileen about someone whom I called on the phone a while ago? My mind was now bothered.“N
Until now I could not imagine how Uncle Mon did it to me. I was also afraid to tell anyone about what happened.“Do not tell anyone otherwise you wanted to get buried alive,” Uncle Mon whispered in my right ear, trembling in fear. My voice was in silence knowing I would be dead anytime if I would tell this to anyone. Drops of tears fell off down my checks, I did not know what to do and I could not trust anyone.A knock from the door, “Amina? Are you done there?” Jessy was waiting outside the bathroom.I wiped off my eyes and flushed the hatred behind as if nothing happened. “In a while, I will be out.” I replied.“Hurry up,” Jessy commanded.I hastily fixed and went out. I apologized.I got inside my room and buried myself in the pillow. I wanted to leave this house and forget what everything happened. I felt so dirty. I hoped mother would be already here. I badly needed her at my worst. If no one would do this to me, then I would do something for me. He must pay what he did to me o
At the convent. “What happened then when they fought?” Sister Avery fills her eyes with curiosity. “Uncle Mon one night started to slit his arms with blade and ended his life after all the frustrations he got from his actions.” I say, lowering my eyes. Sister Avery rotates her chair to the left. “May he find a better place now. How about those chocolates and packages?” “Yes, Sister. When my mother left her boss abroad despite the maltreatment she got there, my mother discovered that the money she sent intended for me and the chocolate and packages were kept and spent for her family which Aunt Aileen did not even tell me that those things came from my mom.” “Why would she even do that?” Sister Avery asks. “Maybe Sister, when they were young. Aunt Aileen was always treated like servant and scolded by my mother every time Aunt Aileen had a boyfriend.” “So?” Sister becomes even curious. “My mom did not want her younger sister to be like her. My mom got pregnant at early age and th
Day 2 It’s 4 A.M. I remember that I am tasked to ring a bell to the retreatants at 5 A.M. so they can prepare themselves for early morning session. I notice something standing in front of the door. Maybe someone wants to talk to me or just try to know what I am doing inside the room. I started to feel anxious to nervous. Last night when I encountered the coordinator, I felt unusual about him like he seemed so familiar to me or it was just I am still adjusting to my new life here in the convent. I do not know about what my life lies ahead but I will still be facing it with courage because I knew this will make me renew my walks in life. I stand closer to the window and a fresh cold gentle blow of wind meets my face. I welcome it with a deep sigh of comfort. The scent of sampaguita outside the garden diffuses heavenly declaration. The tranquility brings so much peace reorganizing chaos of one’s soul. I am happy where I am today but it does not mean I will not encounter problems anymo