chapter sixty-nine

[ IN WHICH SHE IS A DEADLY SIN ]

My fingers sting afterwards.

My heart breaks after what I have done.

This is the third time I am raising a hand against Sin, my betrothed. The first time was a sword, the second a slap, and now the third is the same as the second. A slap isn't more hurtful than a sword, but it feels like I have destroyed him at this moment. I guess it hurts more, because I keep hurting him over and over again.

He hurt me and I wanted to hurt him back, but physically.

And that is not what love is.

Love isn't defined by violence, or hate, neither is it defined by secrets.

What Sin and I have... can it be called love?

Because this is toxic; a toxic love. We always end up hurting each other. We are both toxic for the other.

My heart grows heavy, and my breathing becomes ragged as I watch the pain on Sin's face. I can feel his pain. His pain is just as strong as the first time I had stabbed him in the chest back at the Palace. It hurts even more to know that I have done