Ethan
Christmas carols fill the air as I watch Riley, Ryder, Paisley and Parker zoom around the skating rink, giggling and laughing as they play tag and stage races. Fairy lights and boughs of holly have been strewn around the edges of the rink, and the scent of apples and cinnamon waft through the falling snow from a nearby hot cider booth.
My first afternoon back with the pups is the best day I’ve had since they were kidnapped – and certainly since I was paralyzed. It’s true that I’m heartbroken over Jane, but being with my children again at long last is pure joy. Ice skating has always been Paisley’s favorite Christmas pastime, but I’ve never seen her share the experience with anyone but me. It’s magical to see her playing with the others, so carefree. In the old days I had to hold her hand the whole time, she was never healthy enough to get rambunctious on the ice. Now she has no problem keeping up, and I couldn&rsquo
EthanJane and I are both on our feet the moment we see our pup injured. My instincts send me flying onto the ice, but my braces keep me from moving the way I normally would. I barely beat Jane to Parker’s side, biting back a growl of pain when the braces wrench my legs into painful contortions. I can’t feel anything below the waist, but the sharp metal still digs into my abdomen, and the powerful pinch as they try to adjust to the precarious surface beneath my feet is nearly excruciating.I drop to my knees beside Parker, scanning his precious form for the source of the injury. Almost at once I see a bleeding gash on his forearm, and though I’m relieved to see the wound isn’t grave, I still feel a pang of sympathy for the child. “Are you okay, buddy?”Parker looks up at me, his dark eyes welling with tears as his face grimaces in pain. He’s clutching his arm, clearly trying to put up a strong front but obviously struggling. “Daddy, it hurts.”Jane is already on the ground beside him,
JaneI can’t believe what I’m hearing. Ethan must not mean what I think – he must be suggesting some other solution and I simply don’t understand. There’s no way he’d offer to let me sleep with him, and while I’d like to say that I would never contemplate cuddling up to someone who’s been so cruel to me, the truth is that my wolf has no such pride. She wants me to climb right into Ethans strong arms and never leave again.“I’m saying that I’ll stay with you if you need me to – at a distance, of course.” He supplies simply.At a distance. I repeat in my head. Of course. It would be crazy to think he’d ever want to sleep beside me again, that he would willingly touch me. I should have learned my lesson earlier when I offered to become his slave again. What a proud moment that was. “That won’t do any good.” I finally reply, my tone rough and distant.“Why not?” Ethan inquires, clearly displeased with being refused. I clench my eyes shut, wishing I was big or strong enough to shake my for
Ethan“Yes.” Jane confirms, looking me in the eye for the first time. “I’m pregnant, Ethan.”The room is spinning. Everything has turned upside down and inside out, and I can’t make sense of any of it. This isn’t real. It can’t be real. Jane can’t be pregnant.History is repeating itself right before my eyes, only this time my mate hasn’t hidden her condition from me out of fear, she’s done it because I didn’t give her any other choice. The first time was a misunderstanding, but that’s not the case now. It isn’t possible. I think again. I would have known – there would be signs, symptoms. Even as I ponder this possibility, I realize there have been signs and symptoms. She never went back into heat again after the first time, she was so sick in the Southern Isles even after we disembarked from the ship, and her emotions have been so raw since she returned.“What?” I say inanely, not able to wrap my mind around this. “What are you talking about?”“I’m pregnant.” Jane repeats, tears shi
EthanThat night I lay awake in bed, replaying my conversation with Jane over and over in my head.For the first time since I got my diagnosis, I feel like I have a purpose again. It’s taken me a while to reach this place, but Jane’s return made it only too clear that giving up and pushing my family away wasn’t working for anyone. What’s more, being paralyzed has finally given me the perspective to understand that there’s more than one kind of strength, and just because I can’t protect them with my wolf, it doesn’t mean I can’t care for them in other ways. Above all else, I’m realizing that my possessiveness and determination to make Jane mine again was never about her welfare, but satisfying my own ego and selfishness.The wheels in my mind are turning swiftly now, overflowing with ideas for how to put my plan in motion. When I started making my list of goals, I intended to help Jane and impart lessons on my
Ethan“Well Doctor, what are my chances?” I ask, bracing myself for more bad news.It’s Christmas Eve, and I barely managed to slip away from the penthouse for this appointment. Still, after Paisley discovered the truth of my condition, I knew it couldn’t wait. I’m determined to fight for my family, but I have to stay grounded. I have to prepare for the most likely outcome, and that means remaining cautious with my plans. I can’t be confident I’ll survive, but I can certainly put my plans into motion whether I succeed or not.I’ve already created a trust for our children, complete with college funds and living expenses to ensure that the burden of caring for the pups financially won’t be on Jane’s shoulders. I’ve also created a considerable allowance for Jane herself. I know she’s passionate about her work, but I want to make sure she has the freedom to enjoy her career, rather than feeling obligated to retain her business for the sake of economic security.My other efforts are less s
3rd PersonJane could recall very few times when she’d been genuinely angry with her pups. Overwhelmed, frustrated, and annoyed? At her wit’s end, even? What parent hasn’t felt those things? But true anger? She could count on one hand the times her children had driven her to that point. After all, they were too young to have crossed many lines beyond temper tantrums and whining.However when Jane realized her clever angels had lured her and Ethan into a trap, and they were now standing beneath a sprig of mistletoe, she felt her temper fraying rapidly. They couldn’t have any idea about the larger implications of their scheme, and probably thought the entire situation was delightful. Still, Jane knew only too well how quickly things might turn ugly with Ethan, and she was furious with the pups for putting them in this position.She tried to take a deep breath, not wanting to lash out at her babies, but nearly beside herself with fear and frustration. Don’t they realize how dangerous th
EthanI can’t hide my frown. I’m touched that Paisley wants to stay with me, even over than being with Jane and her siblings, but it’s impossible. First, because I meant it when I said I want her to enjoy just being a kid, especially after all her medical problems. Second, because it’s simply not safe. The doctor’s warnings are still ringing in my head, and though Paisley might not be at risk for attacks from potential Alphas hoping to eliminate their competition like Parker and Ryder are, the episode in the Southern Isles prove that she can be targeted in other ways. Moreover, if I can’t heal myself, I won’t only be unable to protect my precious girl, I might be a threat to her myself. Yes, I made Matthew agree to put me down before I go truly insane, but what if he’s not fast enough? What if he doesn’t realize how far gone I am until I hurt Paisley?“Paisley I wish you could stay with me, but it’s not possible.” I sigh, rubbing her back and breathing in her familiar scent.“But the
JaneWhen the pups are finally asleep, I slip out of their room, closing the door at my back and leaning against it. My knees feel weak and shaky, and I’m thankful for the solid wood at my back keeping me upright. I clench my eyes shut, trying to take deep breaths and calm down.That was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had as a mother. Not because it was particularly contentious or fraught, but simply because it upsets me to no end to think my pups have been taking the responsibility for my sadness onto themselves. I haven’t been doing my job. I’ve been so caught up in my own grief that I didn’t even realize I was hurting my babies, making them stressed and anxious. Instead of taking care of them, they’ve been trying to take care of me.When I finally open my eyes again, I realize that Ethan is standing in the hallway, watching me. My heart sinks – as if he needed more reasons to think I’m an unfit mother – I’m sure he overheard our entire conversation.“Please don’t.” I b