Another grey and pointless day of my shitty life begins. It has been almost eight months since what was meant to be Helena and Bram’s commitment ceremony. The party where my life completed its path towards self-destruction.
As the only prisoner currently in the hold, all I can do is wait for my turn to be hung and paraded against the East Wall as a warning for others. It is the only fitting punishment for a crime like mine.In these desperate times, I seek the past for comfort. I can still easily picture Bram, his dark eyes and slicked-back hair, lying beside me, taking up nearly all the bed. He could paint the most fantastic images with his words.Worlds of balls, titles, prestige, power to make the world anything we liked, it was intoxicating. He would kiss me gently, pet me and reassure me that I was the most important person in his world.
“Bella, you are my guiding star, you know. Everything I am doing is for you.”He used to play with my long, dark straight hair, watching it softly fall in ripples between his fingers as he talked. I spend hours of my life replaying these moments in desolate silence, a dead man's words my only company.I wonder how many hours he spent in my small room at the castle. He often felt as though he was not wanted in the Royal Family, being the younger brother. Everything was lined up for Alexander back then and Bram was merely a spare heir. There was no chance of a shared pack between brothers like some are known to do.His father was trying to encourage him to specialise in security or espionage, but Bram only wanted the top job. Alpha of the White Forest Pack. And he wanted me there beside him as his queen.“Can you see yourself cloaked in the finest silks, your choice of jewels from the jewel tower room?”“Could I?”“Anything for you Bella, it is what you deserve,” he would coo and gently kiss my hands. "If only you could make it happen…"
I shake my head and snap back into dreary reality. No shiny throne room for me, instead I am suffocated by stark grey brick walls, even the bars on my gate look out onto grey bricks. I have a small single bed, a small sink and toilet and a shelf with spare prison clothes. This has been my world of near-silence for almost eight months.My hands instinctively run through what is left of my hair. There is no personal grooming, so my long locks quickly became bedraggled after a few weeks in the hold. One of the female guards roughly dragged me into a washroom and briskly chopped the full length of it leaving me with a rough bob.I felt naked without my long hair but cannot complain to anyone every time it happens. I am here for a perfectly good reason. The next thing they chop could be the noose rope, my rotten carcass shattering on the earth after having served its purpose.
I had adored my small room in the castle, I filled it with trinkets, expensive dresses and possessions that made me feel important. I tried to practice a royal attitude to prepare for being mated with Bram.My room had faced out into the central courtyard. I could see everyone coming and going and it was fascinating to watch. In my foolish mind, I started to think of them as my future subjects.
Back when I was not a prisoner, I ate a lot better too. Now with my strange haircut and weight loss, my grey eyes give me a haunted look. I used to be called beautiful, dramatic, and unique. Now I am a wretched, evil nobody. Silent tears roll down my face once more as I see my future ending only in a noose.I often cry now, any aloof or grandeur I once strutted with is stripped away. There is no internal comfort from my wolf to rely upon either. The instant my crime was completed, my wolf, Gitte, fled from my consciousness and went into a form of hibernation.No matter how much I tried, begging for forgiveness or demands I issued, my beloved Gitte was lost to me. I missed her jokes, her guidance even after almost four years.
It forced me to pretend I had no interest in shifting into my wolf form anymore. How I used to love my slender silvery wolf form, if wolves could be sexy, well, Gitte had it in spades. We slinked through the night, grey eyes shining, magnificent grey coat and soft build...all gone now. Giving up shifting made me appear awkward and aloof to my closest friends Kyra and Ivan. At the thought of Kyra, I winced. Her delicate face had collapsed when she realised my guilt was real. Stood in the centre of the ballroom Helena had grabbed my hand, her brooch hummed and gave her a vision in which the whole dirty secret was laid out before her.Announcing to the whole room, to a chorus of gasps and whispers that Bram had given the knife to me, that I had gone into his room and murdered his mate.I killed Luna Grace at the age of seventeen.I believed with more certainty than anyone could consider possible that I was acting out of love, that I would be Bram’s second chance mate. We believed that after a year I would be eighteen and be his second-chance mate. Well, only I believed as it turns out.My face burns with regret and I turn over on the bed and face the grey bricks. Perhaps it would be better to just take me to the East Wall now and get it done with. I have nothing to offer the world but my eternal shame now.Things are going from bad to worse. Not only has Ivan written to confirm he is returning with Azalea in the next two weeks, but a new vision has also emerged. The last time I had such a strangely specific recurring dream every element came true. The blue four-poster bed of Bram's room, my feet being dragged barefoot through the grass as I was rescued from the burning ballroom and the silver blade stained with ruby-red drops of blood. Iwould have lost Alexander that day if it hadn't been for those visions, it made me realise he was in danger and I managed to save him from being crushed. My heart was in my stomach as I wrote down the details, fighting the urge to throw up as I urgently scribbled the remnants of my memory. -------- Bloods
I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, just listening to the sound of my own heart and pulse. Half-eaten food litters the cell and at night the sounds of rats have started to keep me awake. It is half-eaten because it is disgusting and I would rather go hungry right now. Wallowing in self-pity doesn't require too many calories either. However, I know that a few more months of hunger and I will eat any slop they give me. My lethargy towards my own life does not extend to starving to death just yet. I try to ignore the fact that if I am treated mercifully, as they would describe, I could be in this room for another sixty years. Once more I cast my mind to a different location and try to evacuate reality. Laid on the narrow bed, staring vacantly upwards, my imagination took me to a better place. One where I still had Gitte and where Bram adored everything about me. I am like an untethered boa
The question hung in the air like a bad smell. Helena seemed surprised I didn't leap up at the bars like a pound dog snapping at her offer. Instead, I remained seated, silent. She forgets I have been the fool for someone else's plan before. "Well?" she hissed quietly. "I need to know more before I can make a decision," I replied coolly. "The goblet I showed you and the man... is from a vision I've been having. The last time I had these visions it was the night of the ballroom fire...everything came true." The ballroom fire. I had missed that bit of the evening, having been placed under arrest and escorted away by then. I did not see Bram, exposed for having blackmailed Helena into pretending they had a
New energy seeped into my bones last night. For the first time in eight months, I was edgy, alert and aware of my surroundings. The guards still paid me no attention, scattering my twice-daily bowl of support towards me as usual. The main difference was this time, I ate it. I felt as obvious as a glowworm, an aura of energy pulsing out of me. If Luna Helena intended to talk to them there I would need to be very nimble to not be seen behind her as I ran for the exit. Once past the guard's station, it is upstairs, into the main warren of corridors outlining the castle which I know inside out anyway. Being late at night only the Moon Goddesses goodwill is going to keep me safe from bumping into someone. In my pitifully ragged prison clothes, I certainly won't be pas
It's been three days since Bella's escape and Alexander is furious. Every spare Beta, Omega and child, have been put on patrol, every town notified about her appearance and notoriety. Late at night, when I am dressed for bed in my silk robe, Alexander finally returns from another meeting. Fyre warns me to swallow down my resentment at being left behind all day again. He paced the plushly carpeted floor of our suite quickly, his face drawn and sullen. It reminds me of when he was banished and his mind was a mystery to me. When Bram persuaded Bella to murder Luna Grace he didn't just get rid of his mate, he pinned the blame on his brother so he could move up the line of succession. As he silently sits at his desk I feel the tension building between us.
I don't know why I'm dawdling on this Alpha Alexander job. Normally I get my payment and set off like a missile and my neck is searingly bad right now. The focus and tension of hunting these people down have been the only thing easing the pain for the past few years. Even sex fails to dispel to constant agony, despite testing the theory with every woman who flung herself at me. I'm deep in Five Lakes territory, still a few hundred miles from Silver City where this new target is based. I've asked around a few rough bars about this guy. You can't trust a slavishly loyal Beta to tell you the truth. It's the omegas, the servant types who confirm if the guy is a piece of shit or not. So far though it seems he's an angel. Framed by his brother, banished for three years then the instant he gets cle
It's not like I'm directly disobeying Luna Helena's orders. I'll be keeping an eye out for this scarred psycho but starting as far as possible from White Forest. Twenty minutes after starting the bike I had my confidence but found myself heading south as fast as possible without stopping except for fuel. It was like an out of body experience, the route, the direction, everything just seemed right so I went with it, chasing the horizon. My conscience continuously gnawed at me, if I was to find this man surely I needed to be stopping in villages, taverns and asking some questions. The newfound taste of freedom was too sweet to give up though. As soon as the sun rose my escape would be known and my grey eyes and short dark hair would be distinctive enough for people to claim a reward on my head. So I rode. The sun shone and the nights were mellow, warm enough to sleep outdoors after all day tearing through the countryside. With the supplies in my bag, I could av
"I swear this is the last time I'm rescuing you." That gruff, deep voice stirred me back into life. My eyes flitted open, gaining awareness of my surroundings. We were further up the track, where my bike had come to its sorry end. Thankfully the bag had stayed attached and sealed. I thanked my lucky stars that the forest floor wasn't covered in shiny gold coins. Given this guy's attitude, he could probably have just slit my throat on the roadside and taken the money. "You don't need to scowl at me, I saved your life," he snapped. "I'm not scowling," I snapped back. A few seconds later my conscience kicked in"...thank you for helping me. I'm just struggling to come around that's all." "Surely your shifter healing has taken care of the crash by now?" he quickly asked, staring intensely at me now as though he had found a new toy. Shit, I don't want him realising I've lost my world. To buy some thinking time I raised myself to