#Chapter 4 Alpha Ryan

         I felt someone was touching my face. A hand softly tapped my cheek, tracing my lips for a second, before going back to my cheek again.

"Who are you?" I woke up , kind of veering away from him, still feeling the lingering sensation of his hands touching my face.

"Oh, good. You're awake. I'm Ryan. I was patrolling the riverside when I saw you."

I eyed him suspiciously. "You saved me?"

He nodded, "You could say that. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Better now, warm at least." I was wrapped in a blanket, and resting on a bed near a fireplace.

I inspected him cautiously wondering how honest I could be with this person, with anyone for that matter. If I couldn't trust my sister, nor my mate Jacob, who could I trust ever?

He looked very strong and firm, like he could rip apart a man or a wolf with his bare hands. I inspected his hands, the largest I'd ever seen with enormous forearms leading to muscular biceps and broad shoulders.

"Where am I?" I asked, nervously, hoping to be far from Jennifer and Jacob, and all the hurt of my past. Wondering if Ryan might lock me up. I felt my wrists and ankles free from restraints, and I kept moving them to be sure.

"You're with my pack. Starstream Pack. I'm the Alpha here, so you're safe with me." He added this last part as if he sensed my weariness.

He looked like he cared so much that I was tempted to open up to tell him everything, but I trampled on that inclination. I would not act stupidly in this life. I could not trust anyone.

"Where are you from?" he said swiftly as if he understood I might not tell him much, but he was too curious to resist.

"I don't remember," I lied, unwilling to share anything.

"Right, maybe you're too hurt to remember?" He said, narrowing his eyes a little. But more kindly, he said, "Do you remember your name?"

Of course, I remembered that I was Alissa Clark. While I wasn't sure what I looked like, but I could see that the hair hanging over my shoulders was pitch-black and straight instead of blonde and wavy, which reassured me that I must look different.

"Ali…Alyson." I almost told him my true name, so attached to the identity that I'd been denied. But I needed a new name. "Thanks for saving me, Alpha Ryan." I said more sweetly, once again feeling that my wrists were free of chains, and wanting to keep it that way.

He was nodding, accepting my thanks. "I think you need more rest. Maybe you'll remember more later. And tell me more?" he said.

I wouldn't, but I nodded as if I would. As if I could trust him with her identity like he had with her.

He continued, "Donna will take care of you. If you need anything, she will be here. Just let her know."

Someone to take care of me? I hardly understood the concept. A middle-aged lady entered when she heard her name. She looked well-maintained from an active life. Her face was kind and immediately she shared a warm smile. Her grayish brown hair was pulled back into braids and tied in a knot behind her square face.

I smiled weakly back; wondering what I should say to her, what I was supposed to say in this unfamiliar situation. "Thank you, Donna."

Ryan looked between Donna and me, he looked pleased. With a small wave, he left the cabin. I looked around, wondering if this were his cabin. It was small. It seemed odd for an Alpha to live in such a small house, with only a few rooms. I wondered if he lied to me.

I sat up, pulling the blanket around me. I wanted to look at my body to confirm that I was really no longer scarred, but I would save that for later when no one else was there. My skin felt so smooth on the soft wool. It felt amazing to be warm. But I had a bandage on my neck and arm- it seemed I had kept those two wounds that had almost killed me.

Donna had a kind face, and she was hard not to like. Even without me asking her anything, she began to share a lot of information with me. "Alpha Ryan is the kindest man in the pack, and I know best. I've been a house servant for him for many years. They said it would cost a lot to have you cured, the medicine you'd need. They said there was no promise, but Ryan insisted, no expense too much. Well, he does have a good fortune, but still…"

I was wary at the mention of doctors. What had they given me? Who was she talking about? Who had seen me here? I didn't even know what I looked like yet? Could I be recognizable?

"Who gave me medicine?"

"Oh yes," she said. "Silly me. A few of the pack doctors were called. Ryan was so worried about you. I don't think he slept these last days even, he stayed in here, not leaving for anything in case you woke up."

I was still stuck on the mention of doctors. I remembered the thousand times Ariana had been dosed with wolfs bane by that doctor that worked for Jennifer.

Donna kept talking. "You looked so pale, they said you were very low on blood. It was as if those two wounds drained you of all blood, and yet you still lived. The doctors had never seen anything like it. You were barely breathing, barely had the strength or consciousness to take the medicine."

I felt horrified that doctors or anyone was giving me something when I was not even conscious. Still, I was awake now, warm, and feeling better than I had in a long time. It seemed like what they did had helped me.

"The doctors said you might have died, but your wolf is so strong. Ryan liked that; I could see it." Donna was still talking. I was not accustomed to someone giving me so much information. I remember crying, pleading and asking the guards and doctor to know anything, and being denied any information for six painful years.

"It's terrible to imagine what might have happened to you, dear. But Alpha Ryan is so kind, isn't he kind?"

I knew it was best to agree, and it sounded like he had been too. "Yes, and you too, Donna." Still, I needed to know more about him to decide if I could maybe trust anyone even a little.

She looked pleased by my answer, her worried face brightened to that contagious smile again. "All that matters now is that you get all better."

A sudden noise startled me from outside the house. Someone was bumping at the door. "A dying rogue is a curse to the pack! Bring her out."

I flinched back as I realized the rogue was me. It was as I had expected; I couldn't trust anyone. Ariana was leaping inside me ready for release if I needed to protect myself or flee.

Donna responded quickly to my alarm. Before I could try to get up, she stopped me, calmly placing her hand on my arm for comfort. "It's alright. I'll take care of him."

"Who?" I said, my body shaking.

"Oh yes, Michael. Alpha Ryan's main beta. He's a bit of a hot head, but don't worry, dear." She said as she sprung to the door, her body tense but confident. She was like a stern mother about to reprimand her unruly child.

I didn't like the sound of Michael. I remained ready, even though my body still felt weak for a fight. Plus, I had never learned how. I could feel Ariana's instinct better now than in a long time, but I still assumed the wolves here were practiced fighters.

Donna opened and slammed the door behind her. So sharp and sure, like Michael was no threat to her. It calmed me a little.

"Are you questioning Alpha Ryan's decision?" She was scolding him.

With equal force, he yelled back, "He's being careless of our safety. Who is she? Where is she from? How could he bring a rogue out to us? A rogue!"

Donna did not back down. "Oh, is he? So now that he's out patrolling, you're here bullying a she-wolf who almost died? Do you have no trust in our Alpha's judgment?"

Trust. The word stung, and I remembered how I could trust no one. Not even Donna or Ryan who seemed kind. But who were they really? This was my new life, and I would protect myself, starting right then. I was free from chains or anything holding me down.

I got out of the blanket. It seemed they had dressed me in a simple white dress that hung to my knees. Immediately I wondered if Ryan had seen me naked, which both scared and excited me.

I flushed at this thought. My body would have been perfect, without scars. He might have seen it even before I had...

Opening the door, I stepped out. Donna turned and looked at me. I was surprised to see Michael there, but also others milling about around other houses. Their homes were woven and mixed into the forest. I saw members of the Starstream pack both in human form and shifted.

Michael had stopped talking. He was staring at me, a little confused as if he had not expected me to appear. He was shorter than Ryan, very stout and strong. His face was in a grimace that looked natural to him.

I saw all the faces looking at me. At first, I didn't know what to do. I hadn't had an audience since the day I won the games that was supposed to prove I was the Luna.

          "Michael, thank you for your concern for me. I will fulfill my duty to be part of this pack." I said, knowing that it would be safest to have a pack. Plus, I also knew having never heard of the Starstream pack, I could be sure they were not under Jacob's rule. I addressed the crowd. "Let me prove myself."

          Everyone was watching him to see what Michael would say. "You? When we don't know who you are, or who could be looking for you?"

          A few wolves started to howl in support of him. Someone in human form shouted, "You're weak, you're worth nothing. You're just another bitch!"

          Someone else with a feminine pitch yelled, "We don't need any dead weight. We need warriors. She looks like she couldn't even fight for us! And we will protect her! No way!"

          Michael was smirking, his squat face twist in glee, seeming unnatural for his face. He turned to the crowd as if he were incredibly diplomatic. Everyone got quiet. "Let her prove it. See if she can be any benefit to this pack. In three months, at the fight game, if she can win, she can stay."

          The crowd echoed approval. A few more howls and cheers. It felt not for my sake as if they all just looked forward to watching me fail. I clenched my hands to fists.

          Donna was standing beside me, shouting back, "Back off, you bastards! She's got to recover, how can she even train if she's still recovering?"

          "I will fight." I said. They all looked at me. I raised my voice, "I will fight in these games!"

          Donna quietly said beside me, "It's not the usual fight game, my dear. You would have to win to leave alive."

          But I was not afraid of pain. I had already known the worst pain. I had already seen death and met the Mood Goddess. Taking a deep breath, I nodded. "I will fight. I will prove my right to live."

          "No. She isn't going. " Everyone turned to the direction of the voice. It was Ryan. He was stepping out of the forest. Proceeding through the crowd, they made way for him, stepping back submissively. He didn't look at me. He glared at Michael, who slunk a few paces away. "If you have a problem, you can fight in the game alongside me, or you can fight here."

          He stood beside me, his tall strong body radiating an intoxicating heat. I knew that he was ready to shift in an instant.

          "Anyone?" He growled at the crowd.