It’s been a week since they brought me into the SilverCrest Pack, and a week since I’ve seen another person besides Josef, my supposed bodyguard.
They’ve moved me to another bedroom; there are no bars on the windows and my door does not get locked, but I am a prisoner nonetheless.
I’ve healed completely, though, and according to Josef, the pack doctor will be coming to see me from tomorrow to start with the insemination process.
The last time I saw her, she asked me about my heat cycles and when they usually occur. I’ll be coming into my heat in three days’ time, but this time things will be different for me.
Mikhail had me on medication to suppress my heat, and so did my father. I’ve never truly experienced it to its fullest before… To say I’m scared is putting it lightly.
“You’re deep in thought today,” Josef says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I look toward him and offer him a light smile. He’s been kind to me, nothing like the warriors I’m used to, so it’s made the transition a bit easier.
“Just thinking about tomorrow,” I answer truthfully. “I am… a bit nervous about everything.”
He nods. “You’re to bear the Alpha’s child. It cannot be easy for you. So perhaps don’t think about everything right now.”
Breathing out a sigh, I hug my body closer and shoot him a smile. “You’re right, there’s no reason to worry so much since it all will be taken care of by the Alpha, anyway.” I don’t know why I’m saying this since I have everything to be worried about.
When he finds out who I really am and what I know…
I shake my head; I cannot live with what-ifs right now. This is my path to freedom, to safety, and to a life where I’ll be free of abusive Alphas and their hold on me. I know I sound selfish, but I have never been selfish in my life.
I have to be stronger.
**“Mia, you’re looking healthier,” doctor Lilah, the pack doctor, says when she sees me again. She looks me up and down and smiles with a satisfied look on her face. “Yes, definitely.”
What exactly does that mean?
She asks me to strip so she can do a full body check-up again and I freeze, knowing what my back and legs look like. My skin resembles the Eastern art of repairing broken things with gold, in my case silver strips of healed lacerations; it’s ugly either way. Then there’s the tattoo on my inner thigh…
Doctor Lilah places a hand on my shoulder and a chill runs up my spine, but then she gives me a smile and nods her head.
“I saw it all and did not mention it to the Alpha; patient-doctor confidentiality and all that. You went through something horrific and I know it has something to do with the people you ran from, but please know I will do everything in my power to help you with this. I will not hurt you, Mia.”
The way she phrases it makes me want to believe her, so I breathe out a sigh and strip my clothes off. The pity in her eyes causes goosebumps of shame to pucker all over my skin; I have never had anyone feel pity for me and it is such a strange feeling.
I know I am broken. I know Mikhail ruined me, but I don’t want anyone to know just how much.
Her gentle touch as she starts her check-up, makes me feel a bit better about everything. No one has ever touched me gently before, not even my mother, who claimed to love me.
She prods and probes, checking this and that, and draws blood and a separate fluid before finally giving me an internal examination. As someone who has never been to a doctor before, I wasn’t aware of what an internal examination would be.
Well, I learned quickly.
Apparently, it’s normal to have this kind of examination done, but it feels too darn invasive. It feels like she’s looking for any flaw that could present itself while I carry her Alpha’s heir, and I suppose that’s to be expected.
After what feels like hours, she finally tells me to get dressed while she reviews everything. She remained quiet throughout the check-up, and it has me wondering if she finally found a flaw in me. That wouldn’t be surprising, though.
“You were on heat suppression medication, correct?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“Hmm…” she says as she looks over the results she has received. A few markings with a pen and nodding, then she turns her head up to face me and offers me a bright smile.
“Looks like we’re fine to go ahead since the medication has all but worn off. Actually, we’re at a perfect time to start with the insemination!”
My eyes widen to dinner plate size. “What?! But… my heat…”
“Actually, starts tonight!” she exclaims with a giddy look on her face. “Oh, this is even better than I expected too; your body is perfect to bear the Alpha’s heir. Everything is ready to go.”
Wait, wait… This feels like it’s all happening way too fast! I’m supposed to get another two days to prepare myself for this. Now she’s about to do it?
My heart is pounding in my chest and it feels like the air has gotten thinner in this room. I stand up and try to level my breathing, but the more I try to calm myself down, the more it feels like my heart is about to burst.
This is happening, this is really happening!
A gentle hand on my shoulder brings my focus to the now, and when I peer up I notice Dr. Lilah’s gentle, glowing green eyes. I frown as I look up, sure of the fact that her eyes were a calming brown just now.
“Your eyes…”
She smiles. “It’s one of the reasons I became a doctor, and why the Alpha keeps me in his pack. My touch can calm anyone down, it’s one of the gifts the Goddess gave me,” she says before gently pushing me back down into my seat.
The Goddess blessed her with the gift of healing as well as a calming touch; what an amazing woman. With one touch, my worries all float away and it actually scares me how calm she’s made me.
How many people has the Alpha asked her to make calm like this, only to send them to their doom?
“It’s going to be okay, Mia, I promise. I’ll be here for you every step of the way; you believe me, right?” she says in that soft voice of hers and it has me nodding.
“Y-yes… I believe you,” I stutter as a smile spreads over my lips. “It’s going to be okay…”
That warm smile on her face grows into a proud one, and I feel much better for making her proud of me. She leads me over to the bed and asks me to get back into the hospital gown while she starts the process.
“You should feel proud, Mia. Alpha Nikolaos chose you to be the mother of his first-born heir,” she says while grabbing her instruments and prepping things.
“Most women would kill to be in your position; you’re precious to the Alpha now,” her words of affirmation have me buzzing with excitement.
I don’t know what she has prepared for me, or what she’s doing. All I know is that she is proud of me for keeping calm and that the Alpha sees me as precious.
But that little wave of happiness comes crashing down when I lay in my bed that night. Doctor Lilah made me compliant as she prepared my body for the Alpha’s seed.
She made me feel like I was important to whatever plan he had for me. She made me feel stupid, coaxing me, and praising me all while I had a blissful smile on my face. I thought Alpha Nikolaos was dangerous, but now I know it’s the doctor I need to look out for.
No wonder she’s important to his plans, no wonder he trusts her completely - she can bring him everything he wants, and all she has to do is touch someone. That woman is a devil in a white coat.
I realize this when something else occurs to me… my heat starts tonight. Something I’ve never fully experienced before will have a hold on my body and nothing will stop it.
Just as these thoughts run through my mind, a hot wave similar to standing in front of an open oven, slams into my body and a whimper escapes my lips. Every inch of my body feels like it’s on fire and an even more intense sensation starts in between my legs.
My fingers travel lower, exploring the heat that’s pooling at my center. I’m soaked through my panties, and when my fingers gently touch the oversensitive nub, that whimper becomes a moan.
I’ve never felt this before, even as Mikhail claimed my body every night. This need for more friction, this ache to have something more - he never made me feel like this. Is this what the medication suppressed?
But the more I touch myself, the more I realize that my own touch will never be enough. I need more…I need more!
I lean back in my chair with a sigh, closing the last of the financial statements for my three clubs. Even as all my businesses went legit and I went from narcotics to arms dealing, my profits shot through the roof after the introduction of my BDSM club.Who would have thought so many important people in government had such sick fantasies? Not that I’m one to kink-shame.The Pack Elders weren’t too happy with the shift in my businesses, thinking I would lose money this way, but I have left them to eat their words. That’s when they brought up the no Luna or heir issue.One would suspect they want me out of my position, but the question is why? I’ve tripled everything I’ve touched, and brought them more money than my father ever did when he was Alpha. Even Bastien’s businesses are doing well.So why are they looking for flaws in all my plans?I heave out a sigh and get to my feet; today has been one of the worst days so far and it irks me how much everything is getting to me. The upside
I open my eyes and stretch like a cat in the sun, a smile slipping onto my lips at how relaxed I feel. Wow, I slept extremely well last night; I didn’t even have nightmares to plague me. You would think after being scared of going into heat would -I freeze when the scent of spice and leather hits my nose and I sit up quickly… Then the memories of last night come flooding back and my face heats up.“Oh, Goddess!” I exclaim, remembering how I begged the Alpha to help me find relief during my heat. His command to keep my hands above my head, the way he played with me, teased me, brought me to climax until I fell asleep under the cloud of ecstasy. All that, but he didn’t have sex with me, thank Goddess.I need to get to Doctor Lilah and tell her to do something about this; I cannot go through what I did last night, it is mortifying!Rushing into the shower, I get cleaned up and afterward, remove all the linen from my bed and open the windows. The Alpha’s scent has to get out of my room,
My eyes shoot open and I jump to my feet, hoping I make it to the toilet in time. Then I empty the entirety of last night’s supper into the toilet bowl, my stomach aching from dry heaving as the last remnants get regurgitated. “Oh…” I groan and rest my clammy forehead on my arm. Dr. Lilah mentioned that nausea would be one of the symptoms, right? But it’s barely been a full twenty-four hours since the insemination started… am I pregnant already? The bedroom door bursts open and I hear Josef rushing in before coming to a stop at the bathroom door. I turn my head to look at him, then flash him a sheepish smile. “Can you please call Dr. Lilah?” I croak out, my throat is hoarse from vomiting. Josef nods, then he disappears just before another wave of nausea rips through my body.I don’t think there’s anything left in me to vomit out, and yet I am bent over the toilet bowl, gripping it as if my life depended on it. Flushing the toilet, I hang my head in my hands and groan, but I can’t
The black cotton dress hugs my body tightly, and I admire how it gives the illusion of curves when I have clearly been starved all my life. It has been a week since my positive pregnancy result and Josef has informed me that Alpha Nikolaos would like to see me this evening. My closet has been filled with clothing in all shapes and sizes according to my body type and how it will grow. From evening wear to comfort clothing and fuzzy slippers. The lush robes are a favorite of mine!So, I decided to wear this dress to my meeting with the Alpha…not that I am much to look at, anyway.Dull brown curls, dark brown eyes, and a body showing years of neglect. There’s nothing overly special about me, just the fact that I am carrying his child. I am nervous, though, since he wants to speak with me. We haven’t seen each other since the night of my first heat and that mortification still burns hot in my chest. Thank Goddess that won’t be recurring, though.As soon as I leave here, I’ll be on heat
These massive gunmetal gray forged iron gates always make me roll my eyes - the Elders don’t even try to be covert with their wealth. Scoffing, I think about how this gate alone could finance a small pack for three years.The four old wolves who serve as our pack advisors are supposed to be just that, but they’ve taken it upon themselves to govern us alone. They had my grandfather under their thumb, as well as my father, but I have refused to bend to their will.I think it’s why they don’t like me and Bastien - while I continue to run my pack as I please, Bastien left to establish one in Sin City. We’re the only Ioannides heirs left, so they can only complain so much.However, their recent barrage of complaints has me worried; A Luna of their choosing or an Heir. Knowing my revulsion of both, they played on it, thinking I would crumble, but I have come here with news. Grinning, I walk into the so-called pack house that’s actually a mansion and make my way to their conference room. Se
Naked, I stand in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror in my bedroom and look at my reflection. A slight smile tugged at my lips as I observed how much my body has changed since I had first said yes to the Alpha. Though the pale skin, sunken cheeks, and hollowed eyes were still fresh in my memory, the vibrant hue, rosy cheeks, and fuller figure were now undeniable. I can’t help but feel excited at the fact that my belly is showing, too!It has been three months since I first stepped into this cursed place, and I have decided to stop running away from the inevitable. I’m pregnant, I am going to give birth to a child I won’t hold or see - I decided this, and I have to see it through.Things have sort of been okay; I’ve learned to stop being terrified of the inevitable. It’s also helped that I haven’t seen Alpha Nikolaos since our dinner together. Not have I seen the old lady again, but that’s okay, I guess.I’ve come to enjoy my quiet, and I have my journals so there’s that. Oh, and Jo
I’ve been curled up in my bed since yesterday, still shocked at the ultimatum Beta Maxim has given me. He knows I’m running away from Mikhail, he knows what I meant to that bastard, and yet he hasn’t told Alpha Nikolaos a thing.Why is that, I wonder? Why is he keeping this a secret from a man who trusts him so much?Alpha Nikolaos offered me my freedom by giving birth to his heir, now Beta Maxim is giving me another out. The only difference is that the latter feels more like a threat than a way out. If I don’t go with his choice, he’s going to tell the Alpha, then I might get sent back to Mikhail.What am I going to do? I can’t raise a child on my own! Even if I did run away, I wouldn’t get far, anyway. This Alpha is one of the most influential in the country; there would be a bounty on my head for the rest of my life.I need to get out of this room before I drive myself crazy.Jumping from the bed, I grab my coat and run out of the room, startling Josef so much that he falls out of
“What did I say about Mia meeting Ariadne?” I ask with my hands braced on my desk, fury bubbling in my chest but I try to remain calm. I just spotted Mia in the garden with my grandmother, and they looked like they were having a grand old fucking time. “I’m sorry, Alpha, but Kyría Ariadne insisted and I can’t exactly…go against her word, either. I did say that you would not be happy about this, but she said it would be fine,” Josef, the incompetent bodyguard says. I cross my arms and pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. “Fucking Ari…” I trail off before opening my eyes. “How long has this been going on?” Josef pales. “For about a week-” “A fucking week!” I finally explode, growling. “Gods, Josef, why did you not report this to me?!” He cringes and bows his head. “Kyría Ariadne assured me it was okay, Alpha,” he whimpers. That goddamn woman! She knows not to meddle in my business and yet she decides to do this! If she finds out who or what Mia really is