Chapter 9: CAITLIN

But then I got the news that my hard work had paid off and I could graduate early. I thought all my troubles were at an end. I could be with Todd again, and away from daddy's prying eyes and stern looks. But of course that was a short lived dream and my poor heart was thrown into turmoil once again when daddy said no way.

Mom understood my pain. She'd come into my room and lay with me some nights, trying to get me to understand where daddy was coming from. I didn't get it and still don't truth be told, but it doesn't matter because there's no getting around Colton Lyon's dictates.

What he says goes and there's no point in trying to get mom to side with me because that would only put her in the line of fire as well. When daddy refused to bend even for her I knew it was a lost cause. Daddy never denies mommy anything, so for him to stick to his guns like that said a lot.

Sometimes I want to scream my head off and throw a wild hair-raising tantrum, but the thought of disappointing daddy scares me more than anything else in this world. Because even as mad as I was then, I knew he had to have his reasons. I never once doubted his love for me, though I do wish sometimes that he didn't love me so much.

I know he expects a lot from me, from all of us, and I'm trying, but sometimes it's so hard. Sometimes his love feels like a heavy burden that's too much to bear; and thoughts like that only make me feel guilty, ungrateful, because my daddy is the best.

He's never denied me anything, this father that would stand between the storm and the wind to protect me. If only I could make him see that Todd is the same, that the boy he's trying so hard to keep me away from is growing into a man who's just like him. If only he knew the kind of person he is I'm sure that maybe he'd lighten up a bit. But how do I get him to see these things before it's too late?

Like the fact that Todd and I have been dating for going on four years and have yet to do more than share a few light kisses here and there, or hold hands as we sat together for hours talking quietly to each other in the living room when he still lived here.

I used to think he did that, didn't try to rush me into anything because he was afraid of daddy but now I'm not so sure. I've long come to believe that it was his way of respecting me, by waiting, not pushing for anything more because of the way I was raised.

I'm still daddy's little princess in his eyes. He used to call me that in a teasing way when we first met, now it's like a running joke between us. He'd say things like he can't wait for daddy's little princess to become his queen or something equally cheesy.

Sometimes I wish he too would just forget who I am, that I'm the beloved first daughter of Colton Lyon and just go for it. I'd like to know what all the fuss is about after all. But he would never dare and now he's gone, too far away for even a few stolen kisses.

And though I no longer have the fear of losing him dogging my heels since he'd had my name tattooed on his chest, right over his heart, I still get antsy every once in a while. It wouldn't be hard for some other girl to see his amazing qualities and go after him.

He's told me a thousand times that that will never happen, and I believe him. Todd's never lied to me before, but things happen. And the way daddy's behaving who knows how much longer Todd will be willing to put up with having a girlfriend he can't see let alone touch.

Mom had offered to go with me so I could attend Todd's prom a little over a year ago, but daddy didn't even bat a lash when he squashed that dream. I was so afraid that Todd would go with someone else that I stupidly gave him the go ahead, just so my heart wouldn't break if he was the one to bring it up.

But instead he'd missed his prom for me, and had stayed home on Facetime with me that whole night. That one still breaks my heart a little though and I'd promised myself that I wouldn't let him miss anymore of life's landmark occasions because of me. Silly I know, with Colton Lyon forever hovering in the background.

So, my last bid to escape fell through, now I'm sitting here on the edge of my seat waiting for mom to give me the good news, that daddy has finally agreed to let me go away a year early. Now that I think about it, two years was pushing it.

Truth be told I was a bit scared the year before, scared and excited about the possibility of leaving home and going away to college at sixteen. It was a relief and a disappointment when daddy said no. I was mostly disappointed at the fact that he still saw me as a little girl.

But now I'm a year older and many more- wiser and I want to be with my Todd. He's waiting for me at the school we'd chosen together. It's one of the top schools in the nation, something any parent would be proud of. But it could be the top school in the universe and daddy would still scoff at it.

I heard my little sister out in the hallway and smiled to myself. Sounds like she's giving our dad fits about something, as usual. She's the only one, other than mom, who can get away with that. I wish I had her spunk.

As little as she is, she's the only one other than our mom, who's just simply amazing, that can run circles around daddy and send him into hiding. A tiny little thing no taller than my hip, which come to think of it is pretty much how tall I was at that age, but unlike me at that age, she has a big personality; fearless, opinionated a mini version of daddy to be honest.

During the day she's this extremely bright child...no scarily intelligent is a more apt way to describe her, and I'm in awe of her brain along with pretty much everyone else. As smart as I am, I know she's in a whole different league. But at night, when she sneaks into my bed and lays her head on my shoulder, I'm reminded that she's just a little girl.

She can be a real pain at times, always underfoot, but those times when she climbs into bed with me, she's just my precocious little sister with the million and one questions.

It took me a while to realize that unlike the meaningless questions you'd expect from one so young, hers all tend to have a point, almost like she's quizzing me with a purpose.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that she's on mine and Todd's side and that her questions are all geared towards helping her big sister get what she wants. Too bad she'd have to go through Colton Lyon to make that happen, and I don't see it happening anytime soon.

I went back to playing with Cody who was half asleep on my bed. He'd tired himself out running around my room for the last hour or so, so I patted his back to help him on his way as I reached for my backpack to grab my homework.

It would be another few hours before Todd calls as he usually does every evening. I live for those calls and feel like the world is coming to an end if I miss one, which I try my very best to never do, something else daddy hates and grumbles about. I can't wait to be eighteen.

Who am I kidding? Even when I reach that vaunted age daddy will still be telling me what to do. I wouldn't mind that so much if he'd just ease up on Todd and I. I'm pretty sure that's the main reason he refuses to let me go away to school.

I can feel the noose tightening even as I sit here waiting to hear from mom, but something tells me I'm not going down without a fight this time. Just the thought of going head to head with daddy breaks me out in hives. Everything else in my life is borderline perfect, if I could only figure out how to please the two men in my life.