96: Very much alone

Death had been a constant presence in my life since I was a child. I witnessed my father's brutal enforcement of justice, executing one of his own men in cold blood. The nauseating feeling in my stomach that day was etched into my memory, a stark reminder of my father's power and influence.

Loss had plagued my family, almost tearing my parents apart years ago. And now, faced with the possibility of Emily's death, I realized how unaccustomed I was to such emotions. I had built walls around my heart, refusing to let anyone in, keeping relationships distant. It was the way my family operated, maintaining control and isolation.

Loneliness had become my companion.

My father had drilled into me the importance of detachment. If I didn't care about anyone, I wouldn't experience the pain of loss. We were forbidden from having pets in our household, and laughter was a rare occurrence. Holidays were marked by my mother's tears, and my father's absence from our lives was a constant reminder of