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The Mafia's Wanted Desires. 31
ASHLEYI just wanted to breathe. I just wanted to be away from all this, probably hide in a dungeon and lock myself in there away from my problems. That way, all I would have to worry about was staying alive. I wouldn't have to worry about someone out there getting me. Most times, I wish I could just leave everything behind and run away to a place he would never find me. I would have considered taking my life but then, I didn't want to die. I want to live. I want to have the job of my dreams, thrive so beautifully, and live my dream life where I had everything I wanted, married to the most charming man on earth, who would move mountains for me to see me happy.I didn't want to run like this. I didn't want to live like a fugitive, who is constantly on the move from something demonic in her past. These days, I find myself asking a lot of rhetorical questions. I found myself wondering what my life would look like if I had stood my ground that night and said no to going out with my frien
The Mafia's Wanted Desires. 32
JAXONPUNCH!PUNCH!PUNCH!PUNCH!I sent heavy punches at the punching bag, causing it to fly backwards at the weight of my heavy blows. My knuckles were starting to hurt and my wrists were aching so badly, but I wasn't ready to stop punching the bag. All I wanted to do was vent my pent-up anger and frustration into the bag because that was the main reason it was there in the first place. I increased the weight and strength of my punches, delivering heavy blows to the bag. Non-stop.My jaws were clenched tightly, my teeth grinding against each other, almost like a vein in my neck was about to pop. The sleeveless sweats and shorts I was wearing were drenched in sweat that wouldn't stop trickling down my face, which made it look like I had just stepped out of the shower. I changed my stance, breathing heavily and giving light wheezes in between, punching the bag again. Each blow is heavier than the last one. At some point, the gloves in my hands tore and I stopped punching, unwrapping
The Mafia's Wanted Desires. 33
ASHLEYI tossed and turned in my sleep all night. I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes. The irrational fear of someone lurking in the shadows and coming to get me ate at me so much that I couldn't sleep. On the other hand, I would have chosen to step out of the room and get some air in by taking a tour of the hotel, but I couldn't do that because nowhere felt safe. Not even the confines of my hotel room. I couldn't shake off the feeling that he was out there, watching me and waiting to grab me at any moment.I was so sure that if I stood up from this bed and headed to the mirror to check out my reflection, I wouldn't like what I would see in the mirror. So, I just lay in bed, utterly weak and emotionally exhausted. My limbs were hurting, my head was pounding, and every bone in my body felt like it was going to snap into two. At this point, I didn't even think there were any tears left for me to cry. I groaned and rolled over to my side, grabbing my phone from my nightstand to chec
The Mafia's Wanted Desires. 34
ASHLEYI stayed in my room all day and when it was evening, I decided to go for a swim in the hotel's pool. A shower or soaking myself in the bathtub wouldn't do it for me. I just wanted to be in the water and relax, allowing it to soothe my nerves. So, I changed out of my clothes into a blue two-piece bikini. I picked up my sunscreen and my phone and went out of my room. I got into the elevator and suddenly felt my nervousness building up and I knew why. I embarrassed myself in front of Thalia the other day and I didn't know if I had it in me to face her after what went down. She would probably think I was mentally unstable.God, I hate him so much. I rolled my eyes and stepped out of the elevator, my eyes straying to the reception, where Thalia was already staring at me. My eyes widened and I cleared my throat, quickening my pace and wanting to get out of there as soon as possible."Ms. Miller!" She called, sharply, and I groaned. I didn't move from where I stood, I merely waved aw
The Mafia's Wanted Desires. 35
~ASHLEY~I didn't know how I got back home yesterday. All I knew was that I was back in my hotel room, and I had no strength left in me to cry. I was just so drained. The only energy I had left in me was what I used in taking a shower and changing into my nightwear before getting under my covers and drifting off to sleep, allowing myself to embrace the escape it could offer. Even though I knew it was momentary.The doorbell wouldn't stop ringing, irritating the crap out of me. I was too tired to move a limb, let alone throw the covers off my body and go get the door."Who the hell is it?!" I snapped, utterly irritated. I didn't even know I had that much strength in me to snap at someone. When I realized the incessant ringing wouldn't stop, I got out of bed and slid my feet into my flip-flops, marching over to the door and ready to give the person a piece of my mind. I twisted the knob and pushed it open, revealing the beaming face of Thalia that made me want to rip out every hair on h
The Mafia's Wanted Desires. 36
ASHLEYOblivion.Limbo.Anything. I just wanted to fade away into nothingness, my memory erased from everything and anything. I wanted to melt away and not just exist anymore. I just wanted to be gone. And that was the reason I was struggling to hold onto the darkness, even though I could feel it slipping away from my grasp. I was going to hold onto it for as long as I could because that way, I don't get to wake up and face my new reality. I just want to be stuck here and that was completely fine by me.But then, no matter how hard I tried to hold on to that utter darkness, the harder it got and slipped away from my grasp, breaking my heart and shattering me into a million pieces. The first thing I felt when I started waking up was a dull ache at the side of my neck with no memory whatsoever. It was there but it also felt like it wasn't there. I struggled not to jolt awake but I could only resist for long before my eyes finally snapped open.The beautiful white walls met my vision and
The Mafia's Wanted Desires. 37
ASHLEYA girl's wedding day is meant to be the happiest day of her life. It's meant to be the day when she feels as though she was floating in the clouds, filled with so much happiness. But here I was, I couldn't even bring myself to smile. I was just dead inside. I was so sure the makeup artist could smell my sadness on me. That was how overwhelming it was. I didn't think I had uttered more than two words to her since she started working her magic on my face."That's enough. I don't want heavy makeup," I spoke up, grouchily. I had snapped at her before I realized what I had done wrong."I'm sorry, Mrs. Gray." She apologized and I scoffed. Mrs. Gray my fucking foot!She wrapped up what she was doing and added finishing touches to my face before adding a setting spray to keep the makeup in place. She knew I just wanted to be alone, so she packed up and walked out of the room to give me the privacy that I needed. I turned to the mirror, sighing at my reflection.It is safe to say I mad
The Mafia's Wanted Desires. 38
ASHLEYI watched as the girls downed their drinks at a go, getting up from their seats and picking up their purses. My eyes widened in alarm and I stood up also."Wait, you guys are leaving?!" I practically yelled. Their eyes softened and they shot me a sad smile, coming to my side to hold my hands in each of theirs."We can't stay here forever," Ivana said."Yeah, at some point, you are going to have to go inside to meet him. You can't avoid him forever." Dawn spoke quietly and I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. They were right. I have been sitting out here since the wedding ended and I couldn't bring myself to go inside to face him."But__""Come here," Ivana said softly and I threw myself in her arms, my shoulders quaking with sobs. Dawn joined in the hug, wrapping her arms around my body. The girls and I stayed that way for a while before they finally pulled away."Promise to come visit me always?" I asked them, and they nodded with teary eyes. They kissed my cheeks
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