My Living Story

As the shadows grow longer, I exhale deeply. Night is coming, and it feels both a shelter and an interminable hole where I find myself.

Wherever I turn in my life, it seems that all the exits are blocked, the options for freedom or choice dwindling or limited. The drumbeat and drone of a persistent hopelessness play out their mournful rhythm. Life is closing down on me.

All throughout life, I get these rippling tidal waves of doubt, fear, and loneliness. I tend to put myself down more than I can get myself up. I see the world with a grain of salt because I have been dangerously walking through a road covered by fog. 

There is the tendency to give up rather than push on until the fog has cleared. The worst part of it all is when a fork comes in the road, and both paths fill me up with crippling resistance. 

With the uninvited feeling comes the darkest moments in my life. 

What is my purpose?

That question haunts and taunts me l