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18: CHOICE
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The Mate Agreement 19: A MISTAKE
We run through the woods, wind whipping my hair, branches and thorns trying to snag at my dress, the leaves under our shoes crunching, heels sinking into the soft earth, and my giggles echoing into the night. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so free. I can’t remember the last time I’d thrown caution into the wind like it was nothing but dust and followed what my heart desired.We make it to a clearing near the main school building, and I pause, laughing, trying to catch my breath, and shaking my head all at once. My face feels flushed, my hair wild and ruffled from the breeze. I try to tame it, running my hands through and turning to face William.There’s a genuine smile on his face. The most gorgeous smile I’ve seen in my life, and I feel my heart stuttering in pure awe of it. It feels like I could melt and die right here.Slowly, his fingers brush away a strand of my hair, tucking it back behind my ears, his touch soft and careful like I might be made of glass; like I’m an i
The Mate Agreement 20: LIKE GOLD CRUMBLING TO DUST
Is it really so bad if it feels so right?His body is lean and hard, the muscles taut like I’d felt them during our combat training, but his lips are soft and gentle; a stark contrast to the intensity of our need. He lazily teases and explores the inside of my mouth as though we had all the time in the world. I couldn’t deny the heat that spread through me, and my usual instincts were silenced by his touch.I demanded more. I was being weak and pathetic, but I didn’t care.Then without warning, the intensity heightens. Pure, unadulterated magic simmers between us and it is like adding gasoline to fire. The secret parts of me roar to life, tingling, and I gasp against William’s mouth. He hadn’t been hard a moment ago, but now he was, poking my hip. It felt as if we were feeling what the other was feeling, seeing what the other was seeing. His desire swept through me. The sensation was ecstatic and disorienting, and along with it came a flicker of both hope and fear.I became completely
The Mate Agreement 21: BRIBE THREATEN BLACKMAIL
I awake the next morning without my alarm screaming in my eardrums. The whole day had been declared class-free for the students to rest and adjust to the new changes they’ve experienced the night before. Even the Juniors and Freshmen were allowed to enjoy the one-day holiday.If only one day was enough for me to adjust to all the fuckery of last night.I sigh and snuggle deeper into my blanket, turning my head away from the sunlight and hoping to fall back asleep. Evin’s bed was empty. She’d no doubt gone to the art lounge to paint, since her art supply backpack is nowhere to be found, and knowing Evin, she’d probably gone there to escape any awkwardness between us as well.It’s not everyday that you trauma-dump on your roommate and admit that you blame yourself for your twin brother’s suicide. I sigh. Last night, I not only felt guilty for unintentionally triggering her, I also felt compelled to tell her the reason why I locked myself in the bathroom.And maybe I also overshared a bi
The Mate Agreement 22: CAN YOU WEAR A SHIRT PLEASE
I should've anticipated the stares I’d get once I stepped outside. I didn’t.I wish I’d brought along my sunglasses, but the idea of going back to the dorm, facing Bibah and Wilma again discourages me from going back. The sun doesn’t decide to shine brightly on Acadia until this morning when I’m feeling the complete opposite of the weather. A little fog and a gloomy atmosphere mightve been more appropriate.I keep my face blank and bored as I cross the garden areas where most students are lounging; reading books, having picnics or just simply hanging out. I’m sure they’re only taking advantage of the suitable weather and the class free day, but it feels as if they’d come outside for the sole purpose of staring at me.Whispers follow me as I walk, but I don’t pay them any attention.I already know what they’re gossiping about; there goes the queen bitch who has lost her dearest prince charming to none other than the senior year’s beloved princess Jenny. Wonder who’s her mate now? D
The Mate Agreement 23: JUDIT POLGA
I follow William back into his room. He grabs a faded gray t-shirt that has definitely seen better days, off the back of his chair and shrugs it on. Now that he’s wearing a shirt and I have less to ogle at, my attention moves around the room.On the mahogany table he’d been hunched over minutes ago, are half-finished sketches and about seven different charcoal pencils sprawled on the otherwise freakishly-neat study table. The bust of a dead philosopher stares reproachfully at me. A single face from the unfinished sketches catches my eye, mostly because it’s the only one not in black and white. I squint at the bright ginger hair and freckled face.It kinda looks like…William pulls a large sheet of cardboard paper over the sketches.“Is that me?” I ask, moving to take a closer look.He blocks my path, crossing his arms with a small frown. “No, it’s not.” He answers curtly, and I get the feeling he’s lying.“I’m pretty sure it looked like…”“Why are you here, Isabella?” He cuts me off i
The Mate Agreement 24: WHAT BELONGS TO ME STAYS MINE
Have you ever experienced that emotion that feels like a ball of thorns in your chest, so painful it makes you want to choke? Has it ever been accompanied by so much annoyance that you’re sure any second now you’re going to combust. Bitterness makes my jaw tight.I’m trying really, really hard not to notice the public display of affection going on between Jennifer Rooney and Ben, but they’re making it so damn obvious, I have to check the class again to make sure they’re not performing for a camera I can’t see.Ben whispers something into her ears and she giggles, slapping his chest lightly and cooing. She fucking cooed. I think I just puked a little in the back of my throat.Death, I’m ready, just take me.A few seats over, Bibah mirrors my look of pure disgust.I really wish we were sitting next to each other right now, but Mate 101 requires students to sit with their mates, so next to Bibah is Akio. They make a really cute pair, and Akio seems to be in heaven, contented with staring
The Mate Agreement 25: THIRD-WHEELING
The cafeteria is bustling with activity today. Most of the students cramming the large space aren't here to eat, but to gossip and chat with their friends, introduce their mates, and swap stories about how the mate night party went for them.Opposite me, Bibah and Akio are having a childish argument on something that has to do with ancient depictions of the color spectrum. Now and then, Akio would try to sneak a croissant from the delicacies laid out on the table thanks to Bibah’s baking skills, and I’d do my best to smack his hand away.Despite that, I’m not really paying attention to the present.I haven't been paying attention to the present for the past hour since we passed the two truths and a lie exercise in Mate 101. William’s last statement; his last truth, had invaded my mind like a parasite. I’m obsessive. What belongs to me stays mine. He had said it with such conviction, such grimness that I couldn’t decide if when my heart skipped a beat, it had been out of fear or fancy.
The Mate Agreement 26: SHORTCUT TO CELIBACY
It’s interesting the kinds of secrets we keep, the hypothesized shadow self we hide from the world, and the nature of the skeletons we hide in our closets. Some secrets -some skeletons, are nothing but dust, some are rotten, with the flesh still clinging to the bones, and some sit in the shadow of their secrecy, sharing the darkness with ghosts of what they once was.Secrets points to us where our shame lies, and makes us understand the shame of others. I believe that nobody in this world is truly an open book. You might meet people that seem like an open book, but have burnt pages. You might meet people that seem like an open book, but written in a language only they can understand. We all have our secrets, we all have our shame; some more disturbing than others.I zoom in again on the files Wilma sent me.I’m pretty sure my sister’s stalking skills rivals that of the FBI, the CIA, and the KGB combined.This is solid proof. Screenshots of chats, blurred photographs of them caught in
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- The Mate Agreement 108: MOTORBIKE
- The Mate Agreement 107: SPEEDBOAT DINNER
- The Mate Agreement 106: LUCKY GIRL
- The Mate Agreement 105: YOU’RE KINDA HOT WHEN YOU NAG
- The Mate Agreement 104: LOST TO WHIMSY
- The Mate Agreement 103: IMMERSED
