II

The smell of coffee wakes me up from my slumber. It was lingering inside my room, and as I slowly opens my eyes, the gentle sunlight from my room window greets me with a good morning. A month has passed since I have arrived here in my hometown. Nothing much has happened since.

I snuggle inside my blankets as I try to observe my room. It definitely just looks like how it was before. It is full of vibrant pastel-colored things and walled in white. My bed frame is white and it has pastel pink blankets, light purple and blue pillows, some teddies on the wall, and a small library on the opposite wall. I also have a white study table beside my bed and the lamp usually serves as my light in the evening and that gives my room a cozy and subtle glow. In front of my study table lies a wide window where the morning light goes in and a white curtain. Behind it, is a view of my mother’s garden. My room is located on the 2nd floor of our house.

After appreciating my room, I sit down on the corner of my bed. I start to go downstairs. There, I saw my mom preparing our breakfast in her lovely white apron. She’s operating on our coffee machine. I sneakily hug her from behind.

“Hey, mom,” I said.

“Oh! Darling, you’re already awake!”

“Uhh, yea. What are you making?”

“Just some cordon blue and cookies for breakfast.”

The oven dings, indicating that it is done cooking.

“wait a minute, dear. I’ll just take it off from the oven.”

She takes it out from the oven and the smell of cookies surrounded our home. The cookies are cooked to perfection in heart and star shapes.

“wow! That smells delicious!”

“Thank you, dear. It’s been a while since I last made you cookies. Now, help me prepare the table as I will prepare you some latte.”

Okay, Mom!

I took some tablewares from the cabinet and arranged them on the table. The white ceramic plate and cup and saucers glowed in white and yellow as the sunlight kissed them. The gold-plated supposedly, silverwares shone as I put them on the tabletop. My mom follows me as she serves the cooked cordon blues and cookies on the table as I took my mug to get some coffee and her teapot for her tea.

“Here is your tea, madame,” I jokingly told her asI lay it down in front of her.

“Thank you.” She giggles as we sit down on the chair.

“Uhh. This is so refreshing.” I commented as I took a sip from my coffee and put some cordon and biscuits on my plate and enjoyed its company.

“Take it easy, darling.” she scolded as I try to put 3 pieces on my moth at the same time.

“But these are so good mom, it’s heavenly.” I try to tell her. However, I think she barely understands it because of the amount of food in my mouth. She hands me a napkin.

“Darling,” her face turns serious as she clasps her hands, “I think you should try to go out now.”

Her statement made me stop.

“it’s been a month since you've arrived here but you never tried to step out of the house since. You won’t even try to watch the television, nor read any book from your library. I have not seen you use any modern-day technology for a month and it’s scaring me. Why don’t you try traveling? Or do something, like maybe, shopping or what? Shall we go to the beach? Or some hiking maybe?”

“Mom,” I stop her. “ I understand that you are worried bout me. And I am quite thankful because you’ve suggested for me to do something for my life. I have noticed that indeed, for the last month, I have only been locked up inside my room and only goes down when it is time to eat. I realized that I have been locking myself up here. But that is because I am pretty scared of what the outside world thinks of me.”

It is true. It’s been a while since I last contact the world. My phone is just on my study table and it’s been turned off for a whole month now. I have not touched my computers since I arrive here and although I have actually tried to open the television to watch some news about everything, I turn it off immediately after my name has been spoken by a reporter. I also can’t bear to watch some movies or even read a book because of everything that has happened. Luckily, my company didn’t reach out to my mom. It felt like, they think, that I have disappeared from the surface of the world. And I like that.

“So… what do you want to do, mom?” She lifts her eyes to meet mine. “Shall we go and buy some groceries?”

I see the excitement from her eyes when she has heard what I have said. Or maybe, excitement is an understatement. She is ecstatic. I have locked myself inside the house for the last month and maybe, hearing me wanting to go out for the first time in a while excites her so much. For a long time, she gets to spend time with her daughter.

“Really?!” She stands up with surprise and love in her eyes. “Let’s do some shopping today! And of course, groceries. Let’s get dressed.”

After eating, I clean the table and go straight to my room to prepare my clothes and take a bath. I have to be honest that it’s been almost a week now since I last cleaned myself. Yes, quite gross.

While shampooing my hair, thoughts come rushing into my head. Like, what if a complete stranger recognizes me and will just blatantly talk to me about what happened. How should I react? And that if he or she or whoever that person is will get everyone’s attention and throws them towards me. What if many people will try to get close to me and I will lose sight of my mom among the crowd and--

I come to myself, the water on my body, my hand is leaning on the wall, I am kneeling on the bathroom tiles almost kissing the floor. I am breathing heavily as my head spins.

I gulp the tears that are forming in my eyes, “Yo, big girl. It is okay to cry.”

I slowly calm myself and gather strength to get out of the shower. A

After I rinse myself and pick a red plain blouse to wear. It is a plain, round-necked cut and elbow-sleeved T-shirt and paired with fitted jeans and ankle-length wide heeled boots. I remove the white cloth that covers my full body mirror. Staring next to me is a brunette girl with pale skin and brown eyes. I notice that I have actually lost weight and my cheeks are quite sullen. I remember that I am not this pale before, too. I have brown blood in me that is why I am actually quite tanned, but I’m pale now and too thin. I quickly put the white cloth cover back in its place as my reflection scare the hell out of me.

I dry my hair out and tie them into a ponytail, put some powder on my face and some tint on my lips and my cheeks. Just do not look pale, but also refrain from standing out in a crowd. I took my brown coat too to cover myself. I go out of my room.

Downstairs, I see my mom looking as beautiful as ever. She is wearing sky blue fluffy long sleeves and jeans, and quiet on her white sneaker. She smiles heartily when she looks at me. Is it just me or did the room seemed brighter when her eyes lit up?

“Wow! My daughter looks so Pretty!” She beams and goes towards me.

“Mom, just like you!” Cause yeah. My mom looks beautiful in any clothes she wears. Even though age is already evident in her face, it did not stop her from being gorgeous.

“It’s been a while since I saw you dress up.” She comments as she caresses my hair and gets teary-eyed.

“Aww. Mom.” I tell her. Gosh, This is awkward. She then takes my left hand and gives me a shiny black leather shoulder bag in gold-colored chains.

“I knew this will complete your look!” She says. “I bought it last week when I laid eyes on it displayed on a boutique as if it was calling me to buy it.”

His eyes are sparkling when she says these words.

“Gee. Thanks, mom. I love it.” It is so funny that I found no other words to tell her about how grateful I am for her. Like bruh, I am a writer and I know that there are better words out there to express what I feel but it seems that everything that has happened in my life causes me to remove my ability. I know, I am actually better than this.

But my mom’s eyes looked at me with all the love she has, and for a moment, I knew that what I have said is enough for her. Bruh, how I love this woman.

The simple grocery shopping became an actual shopping date. At the mall, we go into various girly shops and have a makeover. We buy clothes, shoes, lingerie, accessories, even perm our hair, and have our nails done. My hands have gotten full of shopping bags as I struggle to maintain my balance when we ride on the escalator.

“Mom, why did you buy so many things?” I ask her.

“It’s been a while since I bought you things, my darling. When you finished your degree and had a job, you were always the one who buys me stuff. I would like to treat you around this time, just like how I did when you were young.” She winks at me.

We leave all that we have bought on the baggage counter and enters the grocery store. My mom and I have been happily arguing about what should we buy, a pack of Oreos or a pack of chips when a woman approaches us.

“Uhh, hi?” My mom and I stop for a moment and look at her. She is around her early thirties, brown hair, around 5’2 in height, wearing a maroon dress and a black scarf around her neck. Unconsciously, I slowly slide behind my mom.

“Yes? How can we help you?” My mom replies to the lady nicely.

“I’m sorry for interrupting but as I was browsing just on that rack earlier, I noticed you two.” She tells my mom and then looks at me. “It’s just, your daughter just looks so familiar to me.” I hold on to my mother’s arms tighter. No, this is not happening.

“Are you Aria Mouisse?” She excitedly asks. Hearing her words, a lot of people looked in our direction. My hands start to shake as I feel the sweat forming on my forehead. I feel my lips stop to move so she took my silence as a yes and she exclaimed, “I’m a huge fan of yours!”

I feel everyone’s eyes on me and I can hear their thoughts. Their whispers begin to climb inside my head as I hear my heartbeat thump faster.

“It is really her.”

“I almost didn’t recognize her because of the perm.”

“Woah. No wonder we didn’t hear any news from her.”

“She lost a lot of weight.”

The scenario that I have been avoiding happening is here now, right in front of my eyes, and it is frightening. I run away.