The sound of someone else's breathing other than his own was the first sound Martin heard upon waking up. Drowsily opened his eyes in the dim-lit room, and then there was this touch from someone who was hugging him tightly.
Celine...
When did you come into my room...?
He stared at her sleepy face for a long time, her thick eyelashes, her elegant nose, and her well-formed lips. Martin knew full well that he had disappointed her time and again. Although she was the person he loved more than life itself. He loved her so much that he never thought he could love anyone this much.
He loved her too much that he thought he was not supposed to love her once he looked back at himself.
&n
It shouldn’t be that bad…Yesterday's anger and frustration were a sudden temper that was too intense for Martin to comprehend. He tried to understand everything that had just happened. His psychiatrist once said that self-encouragement and positive thinking are hard to muster up by oneself. But he could train himself to think of something positive every day. Emotions can be controlled if he trains himself regularly. Still, those dark thoughts emerged again and again with just a small stimulus. With just a few words, he was triggered. And once he realized that everything he had tried to improve himself still wasn’t good enough and that the sins he committed would stay with him until the end of days, Martin went back to his usual routine—the vicious cycle of negative thoughts. There was no future, but the only dark past that still haunts him and the thoughts that were all he could be, a broken man. There was no way out. No one in the professional world and no one could accept him as
The soft hand that was holding Martin’s hand was shaking… Celine was much stronger than him. He gave up. He just gave up and yielded to her. Everything was obvious. He gave Celine a smile with tears in his eyes. She returned with a smile, but her eyes turned to confusion when he let go of her hand. “Martin...” He didn’t let her be confused for long, and Martin quickly hugged her. “….” “Thank you.” He whispered to her ears. Celine’s body was trembling. The increasingly heavier rain made the weather start to get cold. But that wasn't the real reason the woman in his arms began to show weakness. “Without you, I don’t know what I will turn into. Thank you for always being beside me….” While he was trying to express his appreciation, she hit him on the shoulders. “Ouch! Why did you hit me!?” “And I’m not afraid to do it again!” And she hit him again, stronger this time.
“Martin, what are you doing?” Celine's call brought him to his senses. He was distracted by his thought and blanked out for a long time. He looked at Celine, and she seemed nervous. In one glance, he saw fear in those beautiful eyes. Martin clenched his shirt tightly. His hands trembled uncontrollably. “…I never wanted to hide anything from you…I j-just…I am just afraid. I’m so afraid….” His voice shook as he told her the truth. He gritted his teeth, and he could not control his hands, which were still shaking. “What are you afraid of?” There was fear in her question, too. She asked him quietly as if it was a whisper. He knew she tried to remain calm for him, but it was difficult to be calm in a situation like this. He shook his head and took a step back from her. The memories brought him back to that faithful day. Not the day in prison. Not the day he was beaten up until he fell unconscious. Not the day he was la
By telling Celine his stories, Martin mentally stepped back into those nightmares. The more detailed he had told her, the more vivid those images in his head. Celine knew that although the event that he told her happened only once, he had been ruminating about it countless times.Still, she respected Martin for still forcing the words out of himself to tell her. He wanted her to understand him and stay by his side, and that was exactly what she planned to do.“Martin…” She said his name softly.“Come here… come closer to me…” She smiled at him and spread her arms. She controlled her voice to be calm and steady. She tried anyway.He was afraid. He was afraid of his memories. And the only thing she could do was to be here, to be here for him. At least he was aware that he wasn’t alone and she would never hurt him.“There is no need to fear me… just come closer to me.”Martin’s tall figure now looked weak and frail. He looked up at her briefly and looked down once more. He was l
Martin was on the balcony of his condo and staring into the bright blue sky that was considered rare for London. Once he got a chance to confess what happened and explain everything that he faced in life, he felt as if the grey clouds that surrounded him were disappearing.Celine told him she wanted to spend time with him all day, but her business was expanding, and she had meeting after meeting and not to mention the documents she had to review. Even though he wanted her to stay with him all day, he was the one that asked her to go to work as initially planned. He had no business disturbing her work schedule. Celine was an executive and had responsibilities to take care of. She had no time for this. Martin was still confused over what had just happened. His brain returned to the event that took place earlier this morning. His hand kept massaging his temple and his eyes fixated on the vast blue sky.Martin abruptly ceased all movement when he finally realized that he had told Celin
Celine came back to Martin’s place around 7 PM. Once she arrived, the first thing she asked of him was for him to shower and dress well because she was taking him outside. She told him that she wanted to take him somewhere. She didn’t tell him where no matter how many times he asked. Celine smiled at him tiredly. She must have a lot of work and responsibility to handle. He felt guilty for making her worried this morning, and the whole incident took some time out of her days. He really wanted her to rest a bit more. Once Martin got in the car, he saw several bags in the backseat. He was a bit curious about its content but thought to pass it. His curiosity didn’t matter. He kept quiet and asked about other things. “How’s your day? A lot of work to handle? Are you tired?” He turned to see that the woman in the driver's seat was smiling in answer. “Seeing you are looking so contented today, I am not the least bit tired,” Celine answered him. That smile
After Martin stood still for a while and let Celine hug him, she let go of him and helped out with other jobs of this cooking task. Martin was quite dumbfounded when it came to the matter of cooking. He hadn’t cooked good food for himself for years, so it was not surprising that it took him longer than expected to prepare the ingredients. He did look up the recipe on the internet and tried to go slow. But he completely lost his confidence when it came to performing a task that produced an outcome. He felt totally out of place and even felt weird holding the pot and pan, and utensils. Celine was always by his side and helped him. She was no great chef, and she admitted it, but Celine still enjoyed the process, definitely a lot more than he did. The pasta was something Martin thought was the easiest menu to make, but even so, he overcooked the pasta, boiling it too long that it became too soft. He just could not time it right. We had to redo the whole thing again. It was strang
“Do you think Celine would know if we are spying on them?” Celine’s parents were lurking in the corner of the room, observing their daughter and her boyfriend from a distance. From this angle, it perfectly gave them a clear view of the couple. It was also a rare occasion for Celine to be in the kitchen at all. They knew that she was a terrible cook. No matter how many compliments they had given to her burnt toast in the past, they knew in their heart that her being in the kitchen was also a risk of a fire that could break out at any time. “I think she knows, but she doesn’t care. You know how she is. She does whatever she wants.” Celine’s father, who pretended to read the news on his tablet in case his daughter looked his way, said. He knew Celine well. She never cares much about others’ opinions if she sets her mind on something. It didn’t take long for their small chitchat and spying that Celine’s mother yelped in excitement after seeing someth