Guilt Trip

After my little chat with Mikaela, I wasn't nearly ready enough to face my father. He would be livid at me disobeying his order. Livid that I had chosen Mikaela over them, in his eyes. Two hours after I had left I found myself outside of a bar on the east side of the human settlement, not too far from the pack. The place was crowded, with bikers spilling out from every nook. I fit right in. Men and women stared at me as I pulled off my helmet, cutting the engine of my Harley. No one dared say a single thing as I strode up the steps of the bar. With Mika on lock down, I didn't have my usual partner in crime. So solo I was. Sundays were normally for family. Or so my mother would want it, but between Sophie's studies, Jasper's grooming and father's lack of any form of bond with his children, mother wouldn't get what she wanted quickly. None of us wanted to bother father, anyway, as he would be sulking somewhere. Licking his wounds over a small betrayal, from his favorite daughter.

With no plan in mind, I headed to my usual spot by the bar. The bartenders were so used to my sulking that they knew my moods from first glance. If Mikaela had joined, we wouldn't be here. Not even close to here. She wasn't cut out for this type of vibe. One wrong look here would have any human slamming a fist into another's face. My sort of pleasures, I suppose. My leather pants slid easily onto the plastic stool, tugging at my thighs a bit in protest. "Double brandy and coke please." I instructed the lady behind the counter. She gave me a curt nod and scurried off. She didn't look all too familiar. There was a shaggy bearded man behind the bar most of the times I had visited. But this was the first Sunday I had decided to come here. Every time Mikaela's mother would pull bitch and didn't let me see her, I would haul ass to this place. The music was all but dreary, nothing compared to last night's bass but that's what I wanted. A small pity party for causing my best friend trouble. I was used to being the one everyone looked down on. The little omega, daughter to the Alpha. Disgrace to the pack.

I had never been one for conventionally grown ideas. If you do not stand out, you will drown in the crowd. Which was exactly what my people wanted. Live for them. Die for them. Don't have a hair out of place. To them I had been a thorn in their side since I turned at age seven. So much smaller than the rest of the pups. Father couldn't look at me for well over three months afterwards. Mikaela had seen me, then. Loved me even though we were just children. Often enough, she would come tend to my wounds in secret after father was finished with me. He demanded excellence. Power. More and more power, that I somehow had found within myself. Shattered his expectations time and time again, only for him to set the bar incredibly high again. Now he had a rebel for a young Beta in training. Finding new ways to torture me in was his every day mission.

The lady put my drink in front of me and smiled. Casually, I slid the money to her over the counter but she just shook her head. "A gentleman already paid for you." She mused and slid the money back over to me. By human standards. she was beautiful. Lost in a place like this when she could have any Alpha drool over her.

"Who?" I questioned, an eyebrow raised. She smiled at me again and something twisted within my gut. Hormones, maybe, because I could think up at least twenty ways in which I could take her. What an oddly male thing to think.

"Brandy and coke... odd choice for someone of the fairer sex. But then again, so is a Harley." The man walked closer to me, a full chuckle vibrating in his chest. I studied his face in depth. From his full pouty lips, all the way to his sharp jawline. Stubble was already gathering across the lower part of his face, adding to his allure. His black hair was neatly styled. But his eyes caught me off guard. Deep blue with twinges of green flecking them. Mesmerizing, even in the dim bar light. He looked familiar. Too familiar, but for some reason my memory failed me.

"And who might you be?" I asked, then took a long sip of my drink, the liquid burning as it slipped into my stomach.

"Julian, the guy from last night." He extended his hand, but I just stared at him, perplexed at the audacity of this man. It took me another second of staring at him before I realized who he was. Where I had first met him. The guy that stopped me from making the blonde bitch from last night my latest science project.

"Oh. It's you. You know stalking a woman can be considered an offense in this country," My interest flatlined and I turned back to the bar, no longer in the mood for his conversation. Although, he was hot enough for me to make an exception. I could feel his eyes staring me down, as if examining every inch of my body. I let it drag on for another 5 seconds before snapping towards him again. "Did you lose something?" I bit out harshly. The action left a small smile playing on his lips, slightly heating my blood.

"Can't a man look at an enticing creature without criticisms?" His eyebrow arched perfectly, casting a shadow over his eye. You could see every single thought running through his mind at that moment. I didn't particularly mind his attention, but I also didn't really appreciate it. This wasn't why I had come out tonight. Another tug from my hormones had me groaning inwardly. Either this night will end with me on my back, or someone else on theirs with blood pooling from an open wound.

"Did you study biology for you to only see me as a creature?" I sneered and picked up my drink from the bar. Irritation was chiseled into my features and he most definitely saw it. The only reason I had come out was because sulking at home was boring and father will lecture me about this afternoon the moment I set foot back on the property. Neither was a very good option. Besides, I had an alcohol problem that needed fueling. As I walked across the room, an old man with a beard longer than the list of people I hate yelled an obscenity at me. My ears were astonishing, but my lack of focus left me not knowing what the old geezer said. Whatever it might have been, Julian did not take it well.

Before I could register, he had the old man by his throat. My eyes widened in surprise. That was a very unexpected turn of events. To see such anger upon someone else's face nearly made me reconsider my own temper tantrums. Nearly being the very important word.

"Apologize to her!" Julian hissed at the man through clenched teeth. Veins on the side of his neck and throat burst through his porcelain skin. His eyes turned deadly, asd they focussed on the man, but he simply smiled back at Julian.

"You have a death wish." The man mused out, almost choking on his own tongue. I didn't realize why he chose those words so carelessly, clearly Julian had the upper hand. Strength rippled across the bar, even when he was just holding the man. That was until I saw the gun in one of his buddy's hands, aiming at Julian's back.

The world tilted for a second. Up became down and down became up. I was taught that the moment you saw danger, you defended yourself. No matter what the cost, as long as it wasn't your life, you defended your own. Any wolf would do the same, if they still had their honor. Sprinting into fight mode, I chugged my drink in a gulp and shattered the glass on a table next to me. The bottom was still in my hand when I caught up with Mr. Gun-man. Once he realized I was next to him, the glass was already shoved deeply into his throat. Blood sprayed onto the next attacker, but I side stepped Mr. Gun-man easily and let the two crash into each other. With a deft kick to the back of his knees, the second attacker howled in pain and didn't rise.

I finally took in what was happening to the other guy, Julian, and my heart sank for some strange reason. Three men were on him, fists flying. One had a knife in his hands, raring to strike an open spot, whilst Julian was distracted by another. Roaring filled my ears until I was beside him. Grabbing his arm, I flung him from the bar with every ounce of power I had. The man glided across the shabby front steps and landed hard on the asphalt outside. I was beside him in a heartbeat. He tried hauling himself up, but I crushed his hand holding the knife beneath my boot and growled loudly at him. An animalistic growl that I hadn't heard from myself in years. Fear panged in my chest, but I hunched myself over him. Another fist was sent my way, but I blocked it and slammed my own into his face. All of a sudden, the world disappeared. The only thing I could focus on was this man. This little maggot of a human who thought he could take on a fully grown wolf. My fist found his face. Once. Twice. Three times. I stopped counting all the blows I got in, but at some point there was a sickening crack. Pressing on, all I could think about is this rage boiling inside of me. This unbridled anger that he had the nerve to attack Julian. It didn't make sense, this emotion. It didn't need to. Maybe Julian was just another excuse I came up with to unleash this horrible anger I constantly felt. Blood soaked into the small black rocks surrounding his head. My hands were coated in dark crimson. The same color I saw each and every day of my teenage years coating Mikaela's hands after she was done cleaning me up.

"Luciana stop!" A man yelled from behind me, his own voice betraying some fear. Some emotion I doubt even he could identify. But I couldn't pull myself out of the rage. Out of seeing that horrible color. His face was a bloodied mess by the time strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me off of him. "I said stop!" The man's voice took on a commanding tone, but I fought to be let free. This wasn't over. Not by a long shot. He deserved so much worse than what I had already dealt him. Wiggling even more, I elbowed my new attacker in the ribs. He groaned, but didn't let up. So I head butted him with enough force to send his teeth flying.

I was thrown to the asphalt suddenly, tearing my pants to shreds. Scrapes and scratches already welled with blood, but my fury wasn't stopped by the pain. The wounds would be gone in a few minutes. My eyes flashed up to my mystery man, only to find a jean and Nike clad Julian. "How the fuck do you know my name?" I screamed at him, fisting a few rocks into my palms, ready to throw him with it. Another night ruined by the same bastard. If he had minded his own damn business, I wouldn't be outside, with a human close to being a corpse.

"Put away your fucking eyes, puppy." He threw back with a scowl. I shook my head, not realizing my eyes had started glowing their fluorescent color. More questions bubbled into my mind, but I didn't think it the best time to ask. Snubbing out my anger, I let go of all the pebbles I had collected.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" I questioned more out of curiosity than anything else. This was the least poisoned question I wanted to ask. The one that might clear a few others up. I should have listened to the inner voice that said I shouldn't ask any.

"You are just full of fucking questions, aren't you? Now get on your damn bike and follow me." He threw my helmet my way, asphalt scattering across my bloodied legs as it hit the ground. I hissed up at him again, baring my canines. Disrespect was another one of my triggers, among many other things. If he wanted me calm, this was not the way to go about it. Besides, he was the one stalking me. To at least tell me why he wasn't running for the hills would be the least bit of courtesy he could show me. Swaying to my feet, I faced him head on. He was much taller than I was. Probably close to two meters. This didn't stop my attitude from slipping out.

"Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?" I screamed back at him. He just gave me another smirk and stood back a step, tilting his head to the side. The look of curiosity on his face could kill any cat.

"Someone much fucking older than you, and clearly someone who has the upper hand when it comes to knowledge, pup." He breathed out, his eyes a breathtaking tone of blue. It reminded me of the last good vacation we had as a family by the ocean.

"You have been a pain in my ass since last night. Thanks to your little slut of a friend, I lost my temper and drank too much. Meaning I couldn't look after Mika. So don't come with this entitled bullshit!" My voice raced to a higher pitch. By now, my face was spotted with red. From anger. From the brief fight. This had been the last straw. I sized him up one more time, then turned to leave. Fuck my father and his questions. I just wanted my bed.

"Fuck this." He muttered under his breath. Julian grabbed and pulled me closer, his arms locking around my waist. I struggled in his grip, but felt the cool calm flooding my veins. The feeling of letting go of the knot so tightly bound within my chest. Rage sputtered into embers, then into ash.

"What are you doing?" I whispered and pushed at his chest, pushing at steel. Any form of a fight left me. As if I was meant to cave to this man. And I hated it.

"Something I should have done when I met you." He muttered, crashing his lips to my own with a ferocious zeel.

Maybe tonight would be my lucky night. Maybe, just maybe, I would lose enough of my self-control to submit completely.