Friday, December 14
Driving the beat, seeing the wreaths on the streetlights, the businesses decorated for the season, the tree lots, the Menorahs, the busyness of the shops and stores, did nothing for me. There was a time when a night like this, a winter's landscape, brought me great joy, excitement, and peace. Tonight, however, there was none of that. No excitement or making merry of any kind. There seemed nothing but brokenness, despair, confusion, and emptiness. Everything that had gone on – all that was happening – made me completely exasperated. The guilt, the condemnation over the death of the grounds keeper... it was almost too much for me to bear. It was my stupidity, my arrogance in opening my mouth to Casper that got him killed.
"Central to Six-three David and a unit to back... Domestic i
Saturday, December 15Foot mobile is definitely hostile... She's wired... hell, Sergeant... She's just a kid.Where was I? It was Nasariyah... I could smell it, feel it, but it didn't make sense.Garbo, you're cleared hot on that Haji... Take her the hell out!That was my Team Leader's voice, Theo. I was back in the Humvee... But I was shot. I know I was... I can remember it, can still feel the pain.Jesus Christ, Garbo... take her the hell out. I don't have the line of sight.... What the hell are you waiting for?I didn't want to look at it. Relive it. I never want to see that fa
Sunday, December 23As if sitting at home in pain wasn't bad enough, I was called down to the House by Internal Affairs.My first call was to my father who told me he'd take care of it. Five minutes later my cell rang and it was Isaac Zeltman, Esquire, Attorney-At-Law. I had a bad feeling this was going to go sideways – and quick. Since I couldn't drive, and Maxine was working, Isaac came to pick me up.It was bitter cold with flurries, windy. I'd fallen back into a bad habit that I would have to hide. I was chewing tobacco... again. As he drove up, I left the front porch and spit in the snow. My arm was still in a sling but my free hand held my spit-cup."Ahh... no way... No, no, no... Not in my car, K
Monday, December 24It was our first Christmas Party as a married couple. Every year Max's family had their annual Christmas Eve shindig at McSorley's Ale House. They reserved the entire dining room which was an add-on from the original building. It was established in 1856 and had been a mainstay in the community ever since. The placed wreaked of history. McSorley himself was part of the 63rd Volunteer Regiment and served as a Captain alongside my fourth generation grandfather. It was still owned by the McSorley family, who hadn't changed anything about the original building except for bringing it up to code. It was like going back in time. It was very similar to Cohan's but more of an eatery than an actual pub.As we pulled into the parking lot, I felt the excitement of the season for the first time. The front
Friday, January 3I didn't want to be here so I was just going to tell her, my Department appointed shrink, what she wanted to hear and get on with life. Mandatory counseling, I hated it. By just walking into this room threw me back into a depression that I hadn't felt in the past couple of weeks. The worst part... this was the first of six mandatory appointments I had to keep. I was both lucky and unlucky that they put it off as long as they did. Lucky because I didn't have to deal with it before Christmas. Unlucky because I didn't have to deal with it before Christmas... Ah, the beauty of the Christmas season.I sat in the chair across from her desk looking out of the window. This one had a reputation as being tough. She was dressed professionally, her office neat and orderly, but it was definitely deceiving.
Monday, January 20It was one of the worst winters in recent memory. There had been some sort of snow, freezing rain and temperatures in the teens every day. The old timers called it the Demon's Breath Winter. The only people on the streets were the shoppers and those who worked. It was the gangbangers, junkies, and welfare who stayed inside. They would get cabin fever and either start killing each other or themselves."Six-three David, and a backing unit... Report of an MVA, possible fatality... The intersection of Central and Third." This was the busiest intersection in town. It was the business section, very wealthy and built up. Three and four story buildings lined both sides of the four-lane street. It had shops, eateries, delicatessens, bakeries, all throughout the five block radius. It was a favorite par
Tuesday, January 21"Kelly, come here for a minute." Lieutenant Chaney had me follow him to his office as everyone else walked from roll call."Don't sit... This will be quick." He unlocked the filing cabinet behind the desk. It held all of the investigations of traffic fatalities. He handed me a file and told me I had five minutes to look at it while he went to go get some Joe.I opened it and was shocked by the pictures from yesterday's accident. I thought I had remembered how awful it was. But to see the pictures, the child, it was brutal. Then I noticed something as I looked through the file and information. Alex Werner, the husband, who wasn't in the car, lived at One Thirteen, Fifth Avenue. That was almost directly across the street from East Coast Green
Thursday, January 23The Marine and I left the bullpen. He would now be riding with me twice a week. It made sense, being that we were both Marines, combat vets, and were definitely cut from the Keegan Cloth, as I was now calling it. I was going to let him do everything except the driving. He'd have to prove himself for that privilege. I waited for him to get situated in the passenger seat, call us in service, and then we were off to the Super Wawa across the street.It was an overcast day as the snow had not yet begun to melt. It turned black from the filth from the street. To me, it was a sign of how quickly something so pure and beautiful can become so dark and ugly.Maxine was riding with Marcello as they pulled in alongside us against the storefront. The
Saturday, January 25It was the beginning of our weekend as Maxine dimmed the lights as we pulled into the driveway of Potter Church. She was careful to avoid the sink holes that had been unearthed from the snow. Armed with the map of the Rubik's Cube, we meant to end the mystery once and for all. I felt as though the old man at the church wanted me to do this. He was prompting me, damn near daring me to do it. I had to get to the bottom of this and know what he knew.It was an endless winter that seemed to feed on the darkness in the town. It was bitter cold with a wind chill that was subzero. The tombstones were barely visible as the moon was covered by the storming clouds. It was the first time I'd seen the caretaker's house completely dark. Knowing he was dead, and how he died, made me anxious and a bit sca