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Chapter 44 - What now?
“Why didn’t you come to pick us up at school today?” Mina asks me when I take her out of the bath tub and dry her off. I do the same with Jon and then look at her, She looks so worried and concerned. She’s too young to have that look on her face.
“I… had to do something very urgent, so I asked Zach to pick you up instead.” I say and she pouts at me.
“I thought something bad happened to you.” She says her eyes welling up a little. I look at her and my heart breaks. She must have been so worried when I didn’t show up. I sometimes forget how much they war used to our routine. One change like today and that fragile safety I created for them is shuttered.
“I’m sorry you got scared, I really wanted to come and pick you up but I couldn’t make it. It won’t happen again.” I say and watch tears fall down her face. Seeing her cry makes me sad because I didn’t mean t
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The boy I should not love Chapter 45 - Emotions
“How are you feeling?” I ask Leo when we leave Mina and Jon’s school. He’s been quiet since I picked him up from his house this morning. He said hi when he got into the car with Mina and Jon and that was it. I don’t blame him he’s going through a lot. He sent me a text last night explaining what got him so messed up yesterday. I’m still recovering from the shock.His mother is back.He explained that seeing her took him by so much surprise that he broke down.We’ve never really talked about that part of his life; he’s mentioned her maybe twice. He never talked about her in depth and I never asked because I didn’t want to overstep. I was waiting for him to talk about it if ever did but it’s not something I was pressed to know about. But now he didn’t really have a choice but to talk about her. His mother forced his hand by showing up the way she did. I didn’t feel li
The boy I should not love Chapter 46 - Threats
This week has been a week from hell; I dragged myself through school and work. Everything is draining; I’m putting so much effort to do things that didn’t faze me before. I thought I would be over the feeling I had on Sunday by now but I can’t seem to shake it off. I feel lost, like I don’t know who I amI am so angry; I have all these negative emotions coursing through my body. I’m over it. I want to dispel all of it now. I feel like the anger is dragging me back.“Hey Leo, can you please clear out the empty out the cardboard boxes in aisle 27?”Mr. Brown says to me from across a meat fridge.“Sure.” I say and finish off packing the last of the meat trays I have in the trolley. Mr. Brown stands there looking at me, he wants to talk to me about the incident with my mother but I don’t want to. He tried to ask me about it on Monday and I told him I’m not interested in talking about her.I can&
The boy I should not love Chapter 47 - Secrets
Zach and I sit at a park bench and watch Mina and Jon run toward a merry-go-round. I watch Mona help Jon get on and they try to move the big metal circle. And it doesn’t move, I watch her struggle with it and then she decides they should get off and go play somewhere else.I love that she’s problem solver, she doesn’t just sit there and cry.“How are you man? And please don’t say fine. Tell me what you’re feeling.” Zach says looking at me. We talk the kids to the park so they can play and run around. And I needed to get out of that house. It has become oppressive and uncomfortable.The last time I felt that way I was living with my mother in a small dirty apartment in a dingy part of town. Not to say the place I live in now is a palace but the old place was way smaller. I never felt safe there. And now that she’s been to my place, I feel like she has awakened those feelings I had as a kid.“I’m t
The boy I should not love Chapter 48 - A new perspective
Zach pulls into Golden’s driveway and she comes out of her front door when he parks the car. She stops in her tracks when she sees me and the kids in the car. I look at her my heart racing, all the feeling I been shoving down in the deepest part of my soul come rushing back up. They hit me like a ton of bricks. “You didn’t tell her you were coming?” Zach asks me when he sees Golden’s face. She looks like she doesn’t know what to do. I wave at her to check if she’s alright, she looks stuck in one place. She waves back at me but her wave is so sure. Zach and I get out of the car and help Mina and Jon out of the car. She finally moves closer to the car, she has a smile for Mina and Jon, who are happy to see her. “Hey” She says when she stands next to me. “Hey” I say to her and she smiles. “I thought you weren’t coming.” She states as we walk to the front door of her house. “I had a change of heart, I hope you don’t mind.” I sa
The boy I should not love Chapter 49 - Over due
About 2 months later “There’s something I’ve known for some time, that I have to tell you but I don’t know how to tell you.” Zach says looking back at me from the passenger side of his car. Leo is on driving duty today. I look at Zach and my heart starts racing. I hate when people start a sentence with I have to tell you something. It’s like why not just tell me and see how I react instead of setting me up for a heart attack. Now my brain is running going through all the possibilities that could go wrong. “What is it Zach?” I ask and see Leo give me a glance on the review mirror. I guess he knows what’s going on because he seems a little tense all of a sudden. “I… uh...” He says but doesn’t finish the sentence. I look at him frustrated, he’s killing me here. “Just spill it out. You’re killing me here.” I say a little louder
The boy I should not love Chapter 50 - Pick a side
“Thank you for coming, I didn’t think you would show up. “ I say to Gina who’s sitting in front of me sipping nervously at her milkshake. She’s been looking back and forth from me to the door since the moment she sat down.I can tell she is praying Amara doesn’t walk through that door. She would have a lot of explaining to do if her bestie found her here with me. Although I’m pretty sure she reported to Amara the moment I sent her that invite.“I didn’t think I would be here either.” She says looking at anything but me.“I appreciate you being here. I wanted to see you so we can talk. I say looking her straight in the face. I want her to know that I’m here with the truth. I’m not here to pretend and I’m definitely not here to act like everything is okay when it’s not. There’s a war going on and I didn’t know I was being screwed from the insid
The boy I should not love Chapter 51- Friendship Goals
Today is a first for me. I don’t have to go to work, not because I was forced into a day off for the sake of my health and sanity. I am not on edge because I need to get an extra shift in or else I won’t have enough money t pay rent.I don’t have the kids to take care of. Mina and Jon are at their school for a fun day. They have their own thing going on today. So I am free as a bird; it’s weird.I don’t have to rush to school. Granted it’s a Saturday but my life has this constant need for urgency. And for the first time in a very long time I’m not in a rush to be or do anything.As a matter of fact I’m early and waiting for Zach to come and pick me up. Apparently Golden has invited us on a day out. I was told that she wanted a fun filled day with her best mates. I couldn’t say no for two reasons. One; we always have fun when we get together and two; I am bored out of my mind. Zach pulls up to th
The boy I should not love Chapter 52 - Confrontations
2 months later; a week before midyear exams.“I’m so happy you called.” My mother says to me from across the table. I asked her to meet me at a McDonalds’ for coffee. I have been thinking a lot about the conversation that Zach and I had.I can’ help but think that he was right. Since she showed up, I am not the same. I am no longer confident in myself and my decisions. I feel like I am holding on to my old self and I am being left behind.Mina and Jon are growing more and more independent every day. They are starting to need me less and less. This morning Mina asked if they could go to school by themselves. She said that most kids in her class are doing it themselves now and she wants to try get to school without my help.I didn’t have to go to school today since exams are starting soon, so she said I should stay home and study. She’d make sure that they get to school safely. She pro
Bab terbaru
- The boy I should not love Chapter 65 - A love that prevails
- The boy I should not love Chapter 64 - Golden Mornings
- The boy I should not love Chapter 63 - Nature
- The boy I should not love Chapter 62 - Crossing a line
- The boy I should not love Chapter 61- Date night
- The boy I should not love Chapter 60 - Content
- The boy I should not love Chapter 59 - Green
- The boy I should not love Chapter 58 - Return
- The boy I should not love Chapter 57 - Heart to Heart
