My tongue darts out to moisten dry lips as I search my mind for something to say. Something that will get us back on even terrain. The question is out of my mouth before I can stop it. "At dinner, when Jenna mentioned attending your game, you didn't seem happy about it."The energy that had been intensifying between us dissipates and for that I'm grateful.His muscles stiffen. Even though he glances away, his fingers stay connected to my shoulder. I can't deny that part of me is thankful for killing the mood. I'm not ready for this to progress into something more.For a long moment, I wonder if he'll bother with a response. Maybe it's better that way. If Colton can't open up and give me a glimpse into what's going on in his head, then what's the point?I never set this up to be a test but that's what it's turned out to be.Just as I'm about to suggest that we head back downstairs, he drags his other hand through his blond hair as his gaze returns to mine. "Coach benched me."N
With my arms folded behind my head, I stare at the ceiling as everything from tonight crashes around inside my brain. If there's one thing that I hate, it's thinking about Candance. She's like Beetlejuice. Say her name three times and she magically appears inside my head, taking up residence like an unwanted squatter.And that, on top of everything else going on, is the last thing I need or want.The woman abandoned me when I needed her most. She walked away without ever looking back. There's a giant void in her place. It's one Jenna has diligently tried to fill.Everything softens within me as I think about my stepmother. Truth be told, she's so much more than that. She's the mother Candance never could be. Or, more to the point, never wanted to be.I'm not embarrassed to admit that I love Jenna. I appreciate everything she's done for me over the years. Driving my ass around town before I had a license. Helping me with homework when I didn't understand something or needed
"I know."She nods. "Do you want to do it now or wait until tomorrow?"If I wait, I might chicken out. Scratch that, I'll definitely chicken out. As far as I'm concerned, it's now or never. "Let's just get it over with."Her hands slide from around my neck where they've been draped, up my neck, before cupping the sides of my cheeks. She leans up on her tiptoes before pressing her lips against mine. Before I can sink into the kiss, she draws away. "I'll be right here with you."I jerk my head into a nod as she steps away.On legs that feel wooden, I walk across the room and grab my laptop from my backpack before we settle on the queen-sized mattress. Alyssa sits close enough for our shoulders and thighs touch. Barely do I acknowledge to myself that this is really the first time she's taken the initiative to be near me since she's returned from London. Almost as if to punctuate that thought, her fingers settle on my thigh and I have to admit, having her here with me helps.With
This night has swerved a direction I could have never predicted when I saw him standing outside the fine arts building this afternoon. Even though I've done everything possible to keep Colton at arm's length to avoid developing feelings for him. It's been a losing battle from the very beginning. If I hadn't realized it when we talked in his room, I do now.There is something undeniable between us. There always has been. I'm tired of trying to fight the attraction. I'm tired of fighting the feelings that are still there. Or denying they exist in a feeble attempt to move on. I can't do it any longer. I have no idea what will happen between us or how this will ultimately end. For all I know, it could be badly. What I do know is that there is relief in finally accepting the situation.I place my palms on his naked chest, slowly sweeping them up, needing to feel the sinewy strength that lies beneath. I rise to my tiptoes until my lips can brush across his. My hands drift from h
Just as I'm adding the finishing touches to a paper, an email pops up in the corner of my computer screen. Everything inside me freezes as I stare at the name. It's as if I'm dangling at the tippy top of a sky-high rollercoaster, perched for a descent. C. Radcliffe.In what universe did I think reaching out to my mother was a good idea? Why did I think it would give me the closure I needed to move on with my life?Right now, it seems like the worst thing I could have possibly done.All of a sudden, I feel like I'm going to puke.Instead of opening up the message and reading it, I slam the laptop closed and shove away from the table I've been working at. The more distance I put between myself and that computer, the better off I am. My chest feels heavy. It feels as if there is a thousand-pound elephant sitting on it, making it impossible to breathe.A cold sweat breaks out across my brow as I grab my keys and wallet and head out the apartment. Less than twenty long-legged stride
F*ck.Why did I agree to this?Why did I even reach out in the first place?Why couldn't I have left well enough alone?I was perfectly fine living my life.Well...maybe perfectly fine is something of an overstatement, but it was all good.I sit behind the wheel of my BMW in a parking space on the street in front of the coffee shop somewhere in the middle of where we both live. It's about an hour away from school. The only other person who knows I'm here is Alyssa. I couldn't bring myself to tell Dad or Jenna. They probably would have tried to talk me out of this. Maybe not Jenna. I think she would understand. But Dad?He definitely would have. He loves Jenna but he's salty about how Candance just walked out of our lives without ever looking back.As I stare at the cream brick and the worn wooden sign that hangs over the door, I'm kind of wishing I would have given them the chance to change my mind.I don't want to be here. And yet, I can't bring myself to turn the key in the
My heart constricts. "You wouldn't have disturbed me." Maybe if she had, I wouldn't have been walking around all these years thinking that there was something wrong with me. I wouldn't have felt so abandoned. I wouldn't have pushed away the people who only wanted to love me.She clears her throat and blinks back the tears that fill her eyes. "Tell me everything. Catch me up."I give her the Spark Notes version of my life. From elementary school through college, along with my plans for the future. I gloss over the hurt and pain she caused. The entire time, Candance sits quietly across from me, squeezing my hand from time to time. The longer I talk, the more my muscles loosen. "I heard your father remarried.""Yes," I say carefully, "when I was seven." When she remains silent, I tack on, "Her name is Jenna.""She's been good to you?""She has." For some reason, I'm afraid to say too much. I don't want to unwittingly say or do something that will ruin the fragility of this m
It's past two and I still haven't heard from Colton.I wish he would, at the very least, shoot me a text. Or give me a quick call. Anything at this point. I just want to know that everything is all right.That he's all right.As I push through the lobby door of the apartment building and hustle down the cement walkway, I slide my phone from my pocket and peek at it for the umpteenth time in the last thirty minutes.I really wish he would have let me come with for moral support. He shot that idea down pretty quickly when I had offhandedly mentioned it. I could have sat in the car and waited for him.Ugh. I sound like a needy girlfriend right about now. And you know what? We're not even going out.It's just...I feel like after all these years, Colton is finally allowing me a glimpse into who he truly is as a person. I'm only beginning to understand him. What I'm most afraid of is that this meeting with Candance is going to somehow close the door on that and we'll backpedal. I