Chapter 4

The night was clear, and if it were not for the streetlamps that produced a soft, steady glow, the bright glinting stars in the sky could be seen. I missed the sight of those stars so painfully until it was almost a physical ache in my chest.

Last month while I was on the run from the drug lord, I stopped at a little town right outside of Spokane. They had not had anything close to a hotel, so I had been forced to stop at a tiny rental cabin place right off a lake. I remember stepping outside the tiny, wooden building and looking up at the sky, wondering how I had never seen this sight before. With so many bright and shining stars I had almost been able to see in the dark.

At that moment, I had decided to stay there.

I had called my friends in Canada and told them I was not coming. They had begged me to reconsider. Well, Robert had, Trina had just understood and wished me the best. She was an exceptionally good submissive and rarely ever make a fuss about anything. It made me wonder why she wanted to dominate another person when she was so extremely submissive herself.

I shook my head to bring myself back to the present instead of longing for the cabin that I had found myself at.

The meager entrance seemed intimidating now more than ever. Especially when I had not been back since the night that Lizzie had gotten hurt. Master Jordan and Master Jack had wanted me to return to the club to face my punishment and cleanse myself of the guilt. But I had not been able to force myself back no matter how hard I had tried.

The guilt and depression over my hand in my friend's pain were overwhelming at times. Yet, I felt I deserved the gut gnawing guilt over what I had done, both with Lizzie and Vie.

I forced a weak smile and my quaking knees to lock so I could stumble my way to the door before I could change my mind and run away.

The dark corridor with sparse lighting and the narrow twists of the hallways were better suited for a speakeasy club. Every time I traveled down here, I always expected to find a bunch of mob bosses and flappers filling the dimly lit space. Once I heard the deep thuds of the erotic music, I would be pulled out of my fantasy and thrown back into reality. Still, when I had stepped through the large metal vault door; this place had been a bank of some sort, the Dom's and Domme's still kind of reminded me of mob bosses. What they said goes, and if you did not obey, then you were punished.

Normally by now, my whole body would be throbbing in time to the music. The cries of pleasure and pain would be piercing through me until I was so turned on and buzzing with anticipation that I would practically run the last few feet to the door.

Being a bit of a voyeur, I would stop just inside to watch a few of the scenes for as long as I could get away with it before a Dom would swoop in and snag me for the bar or some play.

Tonight, I stepped inside the doorway and was struck by how normal everything seemed. Everyone was dressed more conservatively for a change, and it felt oddly disconcerting to see such a common sight. I felt more than a little out of place in my tiny wrap of a dress. Then suddenly, a thought crossed my mind. Who on earth did I dress up for?

My gaze traveled over to the couples of the night. Lizzie and Mia were sitting up at the bar beaming at the group surrounding them. They were all talking and laughing animatedly; the perfect picture of a group of friends having a good time and enjoying being together.

Mia gave Lizzie a warm hug and whispered into her ear, then they both looked over at me. Lizzie smiled warmly and waved me closer excitedly. I realized that, despite the pep talk to my feet, I had not actually started moving. To make matters worse, at that moment, every person in the room turned towards me and I knew that I could not hide anymore.

Under the weight of their gaze, I felt my hand go to the bottom of my dress, unconsciously wanting to cover more of myself. I forced my nervous hand to still and flipped my long blond hair, one of my better features, over my shoulders, then straightened to the max of my 5'0" stature.

You are not here to impress or blow anyone away. I told myself. You are no longer anyone's sub, and they have no say over anything.

I began to walk towards her pointedly, ignoring everyone except Lizzie; that was until Alyssa and Kevin came into view. Kevin's brown hair topped above Alyssa's dusty blond head, and it took all my strength not to look over at them. Knowing that if I saw the look of desire in their eyes once more that the feeble control that I had over my body would go up in smoke.

It was almost a shock when they let me walk past them without incident on my way towards Lizzie and Mia. Lizzie jumped down off the counter excitedly then winced when her feet hit the floor. I reached out instinctively to grab her, only to be beaten by Jack and Jordan, who were chiding her as they checked the wound.

"You need to be careful, Lizzie," Jordan warned her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just forgot 'cause it wasn't hurting," Lizzie tried to reassure them.

I could see the anger still painting their faces, but just under the surface were the concern and frustration they were feeling. What bothered me the most was the tinge of guilt around their eyes. What did they have to feel guilty about? I could not think of anything.

Even when Lizzie stopped rubbing the pained spot on her leg and the anger faded, the haunting look of guilt still stayed on their faces.

Although I wanted to reach out to them and let them know that they had nothing to feel guilty about. They had rescued her, if it were not for their bravery then I knew for a fact that Lizzie would not be here. However, before I could say anything they backed away to give Lizzie some room to greet me.

Not too much, though.

"I'm so glad you showed up!" Lizzie squealed unexpectedly.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, you did tell me that if I didn't show up, you were going to hunt me down and drag me here."

She gave a bit of a sheepish grin. "Yeah. But since when has a threat made you do something you didn't wanna do."

Everyone laughed, and I forced out a tiny giggle to cover the stab of pain her words inadvertently caused. I looked away, unable to keep eye contact with her, then shifted a little, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. Taking a step back in hopes of hiding in the scant crowd gathered around, I was startled when I felt Lizzie's arms wrap around me to hold me tightly.

"Really, I'm so glad you are here," she whispered in my ear.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and with a sniffle, I squeezed my lids tight. I could not respond for fear of the whimpers I was holding back would pop out.