I am heading up the stairs to my flat, my arms full, as dusk is falling when I hear Taylor arguing with someone. Thinking that he is on the phone, I head straight to the kitchen to deposit the cinnamon buns that I have prepped for the morning in the fridge. When I hear the voice of Nicola, Taylor’s sister, raised as well, I stop in my stride. “What the hell, Taylor, I thought you and Abby were back together?” Nicola shouts. The question halts me in my tracks, and I stay put, waiting to hear what is coming next. “We are back together, Stix. I don’t get why you have stormed in here and started yelling at me.” I can hear the confusion in Taylor’s voice, and I am right there with him. “Then why are you cheating on her?” What the fuck? My hands clench into fists, my nails digging deep into my palms. “Seriously, I have no idea what you are going on about. There is no way in hell I would cheat on Abby and you know that!” Taylor is practically yelling at his baby sister, and I can only im
My head is pounding from the effects of the sedative when I finally manage to open my eyes. Taylor’s chocolate brown eyes stare intensely at me, a frown furrowing his brow. I smile weakly at him, but even that small movement sends pain shooting through my skull, forcing a grimace across my face. Taylor silently hands me some cool water and a couple of painkillers, which I take gratefully before flopping onto my back with my eyes closed. “These should kick in soon and then hopefully you will feel a bit better. David said you would probably wake up with a killer headache…” Taylor trails off and I can tell he wants to discuss last night, but I know I am just not ready to confront today’s big issue. I don’t reply, so he places a light kiss on my cheek before adding, “I need to go out for a bit, but I’ll be back for lunch with your parents later.” “Okay,” I answer in a hoarse whisper. “I’ll see you a bit later, then.” I know I should ask where he is going, but knowing Taylor, if he want
Taylor is gone when I wake, but I roll over to find a note on my pillow, promising to let me know everything when he gets home. I find myself worrying about Nicola, worrying about Taylor and, finally, worrying about my little Bean. Knowing that Richard knows about my pregnancy sends a shiver down my spine. I know I stood up to him previously at Genevieve’s party and told him that he didn’t scare me, but when I found out how Richard’s threats to Taylor caused the downfall of our relationship, the fear of him returned. His obsession with Taylor—and that is what it has all boiled down to—means that he doesn’t want anyone to replace him in his brother’s life. He has already made it perfectly clear how he feels about me, and I am just terrified that his reaction to a baby would be even fiercer. After all, he abused Nicola as a baby too. I finally force myself out of bed, grateful that the morning sickness seems to be absent for a change. I find my mind wandering all morning as I bake, wo
I wake to a delicious aroma filling my senses. My stomach growls in response, and I scramble to find my phone to see what the time is. Eight o’clock. The craziness of the day has taken its toll, and after my mother left, I put my head down for a short nap. Well, that was three hours ago. I enter the kitchen to find Taylor frying steaks. My mouth waters as I take in creamed spinach on the stove, pink-peppercorn sauce bubbling gently and the crispy fries baking in the oven. Mmm, I hadn’t realised how hungry I was until this moment. I could eat a horse, or given the menu, a cow. “Yum, that smells good,” I say to Taylor as I wrap my arms around his waist and lean my head on his back. Slowly he turns in my embrace and plants a soft kiss on my nose. “I wondered when you were going to wake up. You were snoring like a train,” Taylor says playfully. I swat his arm in defence and pout. “I don’t snore!” I protest. Just then I notice a huge bunch of white roses on the side, and I raise my eye
I wake disorientated. The room is dark, and I am hot, far too hot. It takes me a second to realise that I am trapped under Taylor’s dead weight, and I find myself wriggling in his arms to gain a little space. I sense a change in Taylor as his breathing lightens, and when I roll over to face him, I find myself staring into his serious brown eyes. “Hey,” he whispers. “You okay? What happened?” My body trembles at the memories. “I was just lying there daydreaming, and then all of a sudden all those images from the blog started running through my head, and then I was back there in the moment, watching myself cut my wrists.” Tears are sliding down my face, and Taylor brings up his thumb to wipe them softly away. “What can I do to help?” I can hear the hitch in his voice as if he is as affected by this as much as I am. “Make me forget. I close my eyes and it is all I see. I wish I could make it go away.” I hate the weakness in my voice. Every time I think I am getting a handle on things
My morning can’t go fast enough. I made all my calls first thing, and now I am just waiting for news. There is nothing more frustrating than being at the mercy of other people’s decisions. Andreas and Bea can sense my unease and have pretty much left me to my own devices, so I have been taking my frustrations out on some dough instead. I really need to get back to doing my morning yoga routine and find some Zen. I am just bringing out a fresh batch of rolls to the counter when Bea grabs me. “There is a girl here about the shop role. Do you have time to speak to her?” “Sure, let me just get out of this apron and I’ll be right out.” I quickly dash to the toilets to wipe away the flour dust that always seems to get everywhere. Walking out through to the front, I immediately spot the girl. Tall, blonde and very pretty. From the looks of her, she is older than me, so it makes me wonder why she wants a shop job. But hey, everyone has a reason and who am I to judge? I step forward and hold
My taxi pulls up outside The Roundhouse, and I am amazed at the crowds of people gathered. I feel myself starting to panic, wondering how on earth I am going to find Taylor, when I hear a tap at the window and see the man himself standing there. Taylor pays my fare and then opens the door, offering his hand to help me out, something I am eternally grateful for considering the shoes that are now gracing my feet. “Holy shit, you look hot,” Taylor whispers into my ear before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the entrance. “What’s going on, Taylor? I checked the website and it said nothing was on tonight, yet look at all these people.” Taylor just winks and pulls me forward. Curiosity has definitely got the cat, so I follow Taylor as fast as my heels will allow. At the entrance, Taylor is greeted by name, and I am starting to feel a little like Alice heading down the rabbit hole. “So are you going to tell me what is going on yet, Taylor?” I plead, desperate to know what on earth
I am grateful that Taylor has parked nearby, and it is only minutes until we are back in the cosy warmth. As the engine roars to life, I settle back in my seat and close my eyes, reliving that magic moment of being serenaded. Definitely, something to add to my top-ten life experiences. I must have dozed off because the next thing I know is the feeling of being lifted out of the car and being carried upstairs. I hadn’t even thought about where we were staying tonight, but from a sleepy glance around, I can see that Taylor has brought us back to Brighton. I smile into Taylor’s neck and murmur a soft “Hi.” “Back in the land of the living, then, are we?” Taylor laughs as he plops me somewhat ungraciously onto the bed, making me giggle. Lying down next to me, Taylor gives me a smouldering look as his eyes travel up my body. I am wide awake now and my libido has gone into overdrive. “I think it’s time to get you out of those clothes, Abby,” Taylor says, his voice thick with arousal. I c