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THE TWENTY-FIRST
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Thirty Days THE TWENTY-FIRST pt2
“Today I am yours, Abs. We have barely spent any time together, and I have missed you. So whatever you want to do is good with me.” Taylor’s voice has turned low and positively sexy, and now my body is no longer trembling with fear but anticipation instead. “Hmmm, what am I going to do without you?” I murmur. “Hmmm, indeed. Well, I have a couple of ideas,” Taylor responds. “Oh you do, do you?” I counter, enjoying this game. “I think I might have to show you, though,” Taylor suggests, his voice husky with his own arousal. Gently Taylor takes my hand and starts to manoeuvre it so that my fingertips brush across my body. Goosebumps stipple my flesh in response as he guides my hand lower and lower. When at last my fingers brush my downy bush, I resist for the first time. I have an inkling of what Taylor wants me to do, but I have actually never done this before, and fear of the unknown has me flush with embarrassment and avoiding Taylor’s eyes. “Don’t be nervous…” Taylor pleads gent
Thirty Days THE TWENTY-FIRST pt3
Taylor and I are standing on the pebbles that make up Brighton’s ‘beach’, watching the waves crash on the shore as the weak, wintery sun does its best to warm our freezing limbs. When it is clear that the warmth radiating off Taylor is not enough to stop me from shaking with cold, we agree that it is time to head back into town. I love visiting the beach, and after this morning’s revelations, it has helped blow away some of the insane thoughts racing through my brain. We take a slow meander through the Lanes, stopping in front of quirky shops to gaze at their wares. Taylor lets me drag him into the Cath Kidston store and indulges me whilst I ooh and ah over their baking goodies. Eventually, he buys me an apron in the traditional Provence rose print just to shut me up and get me out of the store. I grin and tell him he is insane; after the coffee machine and the iPad, he doesn’t need to be buying me things. But he just grins at me and tells me he would give me the moon if he could. I
Thirty Days THE TWENTY-FIRST pt4
I don’t think I will ever forget the looks on everyone’s faces when Taylor explained about Richard’s threats towards me. The fury in both my parents’ eyes, along with the anger expressed by Andreas and Bea, who I now think of as family, made me realise that, in all of this, I am no longer alone. I have people who care about me and who will fight for me. It makes me realise that in those dark moments when I was holding a knife to my wrists, the desolation and emptiness that drove me to cut was not the end but really a beginning. It took so much courage for Taylor to talk about his own past as well, and I think for the first time everyone was able to fully understand Taylor’s treatment of me. I know my parents had tried to understand why he dumped me the way he did and, in their own way, letting him get away with it to make me happy, but I finally see forgiveness in their eyes. No one really touches their food during the revelations, and I think it is only me who actually notices. I
Thirty Days THE TWENTY-FIRST pt5
“It’s getting late, Abs. Let’s go home,” Taylor suggests. I take his hand and let him help me into my coat. As we step out into the cold, Taylor leans forward and brushes his lips against my ear and whispers, “I know,” before planting a gentle kiss on my cheek. My thoughts swirl and I can’t help but feel that he meant more than he said. I tuck my arm through his, enjoying the comfort of his warmth, as we slowly walk back to the flat, the silence a contrast to the echoes of our footsteps on the cobbles. I am in the middle of struggling out of my coat, my frozen fingers refusing to cooperate with the buttons when I hear music coming from the living room. Curiosity spurs me on, making my fingers more nimble, and moments later I walk into the room to find Taylor standing in the centre, looking oddly formal. “Dance with me, Abby?” Taylor requests, holding out his hand. I walk across the room and let him envelop me in his strong arms. We move in a slow tandem as our bodies sway to Christi
Thirty Days THE TWENTY-SECOND
I study the ring on my finger, wondering what people are going to say when I tell them that I am engaged. I am amazed that Taylor managed to get the sizing right considering I don’t wear rings, and my weight has certainly fluctuated. Being pregnant, I think most people will assume that this is the logical next step, but I still can’t quite believe that he actually told me he loved me. I glance at the clock sitting above the reception desk in Dr Grohl’s office and realise that I still have a couple of minutes to go before our session. I am nervous about how David is going to react as I know I should not be making big changes while I am still so early on in my treatment. But it is not like I can take it back now. I can only guess how hard it was for Taylor to say those words to me given that the last person that Taylor loved, his ex-girlfriend Hannah, committed suicide after Richard messed with her head. David’s receptionist lets me know that he is ready for me, so I make my way into
Thirty Days THE TWENTY-SECOND pt2
Fortunately, my dad provides a distraction as I walk into Cake. I can hear James and his crew fitting out the new cloakroom, so we settle on one of the sofas, away from the noise, to talk through the strategy for the grand opening, which Dad has taken upon himself to be in charge of. We go through the invite samples he has had made up by a local printer, finally settling on a heavy teal card with embossed silver writing. I make a mental note to try and replicate the colour in icing to go on top of the cupcakes that we will be sending out with the invites. “Dad, this is amazing,” I say. “I can’t believe how fast you have managed to pull all of this together.” “You can get anything done with a little bit of bribery, love,” Dad chuckles. “You are going to owe these guys a few cakes down the line…” I chuckle in response, knowing that Dad will have used his trademark charm and good looks to get away with murder, or at least the tightest turnaround they have ever done. “Right, let’s hav
Thirty Days THE TWENTY-SECOND pt3
Just then Mum comes in carrying a box of cutlery, exclaiming over her charity shop find of mismatched silver cake forks. Seriously, this woman can hunt out anything in a charity shop, and given that it is Mum and Dad’s money paying for all of this, the more we can do on a budget, the better. And anyway, with the relaxed shabby chic look we have been going for, these will be perfect, and I would much rather that we support our local businesses where we can. Mum has barely looked at me while she chats away, but suddenly her posture goes rigid. “Is that what I think it is?” she hisses at me, and for a moment I can’t think what on earth she is possibly talking about. Realisation dawns that she is staring at the great big rock sitting on my finger, and I find myself going red. “Um, Taylor proposed last night,” I say, holding out my hand so that Mum can get a closer look. I am unsure of what her reaction is, so I watch as her expression changes. Suddenly tears course down her face, and I
Thirty Days THE TWENTY-THIRD
I have just finished piping the final teal and cream swirls onto my dark chocolate and raspberry muffins. A glance at the clock tells me we have an hour before the couriers turn up to collect the parcels, and we still have to pack up the muffins into individual boxes, tie them up with ribbon and attach the invites. Thank heavens there are plenty of hands-on deck to help, and I am grateful that Mum has had the foresight to organise our mini production line. Half an hour later, I sigh in relief as the last invite is tied to its box. I am exhausted. My night was filled with disturbing dreams where I kept trying to tell Taylor that I loved him, but numerous obstacles kept getting in my way. When I pulled myself out of bed at five this morning, I didn’t feel like I had even slept though I know I must have. Dark circles are etched under my eyes, and I can see the concern on my friends’ faces. I still haven’t heard from Taylor, and I know that worry is also adding to my exhaustion. Taylor
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