I am not ready for something like this. My mind and heart are not ready to see him!
Why are you here?!? Just why?!!
I shouldn't have asked Nikolai to join me. Ahhh! I just want to help him be on good terms with Ysekiel, but I swear I will not help you again!
"Hi"
His voice, which I haven't heard for a long time, makes me feel nostalgic.
It's been a while. I never would have thought that I would meet him this early. I swallowed my saliva and tried to smile.
"Hi"
That is the only thing I could say while trying not to stutter. I can't describe what I am feeling right now.
It is mixed hatred because he killed me, anger for him acting as if I am nobody to him and sadness for the feelings that he never gave me back. I don't know.
I just don't freaking know! This pain is enough. I can't handle it anymore.
He sits right next to Nikolai, in front of mine. I laughed in my mind.
Would he believe me if I said he would kill me someday? Or maybe he already knew it because he already had plans in mind.
I was plotting the perfect time and moment to kill me. I just don't know how to react, say, or even think at this moment.
"So, why are you here?" Seki asked with a grin on her face. I told her yesterday that I do not love Francis anymore. It seems like she doesn't believe me.
"To visit you. I feel like I missed you so much that I would die if I didn't see you today." I faked a smile and heard her laugh. She sits right next to me, facing Nikolai.
"What would you like? My treat," Nikolai said, and Ysekiel giggled. She smiled while slightly laughing.
"No worries, it's on me," she replied.
Now he is dead silent. Tchh, good for you.
I looked at the menu again and tried to cover my face with it so I couldn't see his face. Although I didn't look at him in the first place!
Who would even want to look at the face of someone who will kill you in the future?
I suddenly feel scared about the thought of it. As I recall correctly, this scene also happened in the past, but back then, I didn't ask Nikolai to join me here.
We did dine together, but what did I do back then? I can't remember...
"Kianna~ hey girl, I've been calling you countless times already. Are you like that because you are thinking of-" I cut her words as I glare at her.
"Who are you talking about? Mind sharing it with us?" Nikolai jokingly said.
"No thanks," I answered back.
We ordered it and waited for it to be delivered. The moment here seems to run so slowly. We just stopped talking for a couple of minutes, but the silence was still suffocating!
Because of that, I just tried to remember what happened last time.
I also used that car. and simply got here with no problems. Maybe it's because of that. The reason I saw Nikolai is because I came late. If I hadn't helped the old lady, I would probably be here much earlier.
But then, Francis is also there. That means they do have a business together.
Although I don't quite understand why they join us to dine, it's probably either Seki's or Nikolai's fault.
Whoever might be the cause of that, what I should pay attention to right now is the fact that what happened in the past may still happen today or in the future!
"Ma'am Ysekiel, we need you in the kitchen," the staff member said while bowing his head.
We looked at each other, and then she replied.
"Sure, I'm coming."
She stood up, and so did Nikolai.
She questioningly looked at him, and he answered. "I might be able to provide help."
Seki was about to say something, but then he said. "I insist"
She didn't say anything and said farewell to me. They were now gone, and I realized too late that I was left alone with Francis.
It was so weird. I just want to leave and go! I thought of myself in the past as someone who made an effort to start a conversation with him.
Before, the two of them also left. As I remember, back then, I cheerfully asked him various things.
But what he says is a short yes, and I don't know. It's as if he doesn't want to have any conversation with me.
I looked down and quietly recalled my bitter past.
Why did I even like him in the first place?
Yes, I know that we were close in middle school and so on, but I don't quite recall the moment I started liking him.
He is smart, that's a truth no one can deny. Francis is someone who shows me kindness and love, but as a friend and with non-blood-related siblings.
He saw me as his sister. I saw him as a brother. Things were just like that at first, yet when it comes to this, he acts as if I'm someone with whom he didn't share a drink.
Someone who he didn't talk to when he needed ears to listen to his complaints.
It's as if I'm not someone who he once cherished and loved as his sister. Fuck that brother-sister thing. That's all in the past. Don't cry over spilled milk.
He killed you! Remember that!
Not because you tried to kill his fiancé, he would have the reason to kill you as if you were not someone important to him.
He is at fault too! He shouldn't have treated you like that if he hadn't done it till the end!
Kianna, be brave.
You promised. Right?
You promised that you would not love him. Don't break it. Do not repeat the mistake that leads to death. Not all men deserve the love you had.
He throws your feelings away. He isn't worthy of your love. He isn't.
"I hate you. I really do."
I whispered mindlessly, never knowing that my words would be heard and would start to change the flow of everything.
"Ki-"
I didn't hear what Francis was about to say because, at that moment, Seki and Nikolai got back.
The food was also delivered.
I didn't utter any more words as we started to eat. Seki surely did realize that something was off; that's why she didn't pry on the things I did.
We finished eating, and only the two of them were having a conversation. I quietly stood up and said that I had something to do.
They let me leave and bid me farewell.
Walking out of the restaurant, I walked and walked. I don't know where I will go or where I will be. All I want is to be alone. To be far from there. Far from him.
I stopped and realized that I was in the church. The tall tree with a round bench around it is still there.
I remember that, in the past, we both went there to kill some time since it's quiet out there. The aura is nice, and the wind is fresh.
Things may always be the same, but not the way they used to be.
Just like this tree, it might still be here, but things are not the same as they were before.
Things do change, and so do people. Nothing stays the same as it used to be. Because as time passed, everything changed. Even if it is small or big.
It will change.
Even if you want to or not, things will continue to change.
That is because it will not always be up to you.
Time passed, and it was morning again. I woke up pretty early since it was my graduation. I didn't know what I should wear or who would do my make-up, but I can rest assured that they are the best of the best. As I stood out of bed, I saw a bouquet of flowers on the nightstand. It contains a card saying, 'Congratulations on this wonderful day. We are proud of you, Kianna.' I smiled. It's from my grandparents. Unfortunately, they can't go since they are outside the country. Having a travel trip and medication somewhere there. Hopefully, my mom will be there with me. So does my dad, as he promised. They did promise, but I don't have high hopes since... I already know what will happen. They will not be there. It would probably be just like before. A sudden gloom reaches my emotions. Well, I guess I'll just try to be happy since, once again, I will be getting my diploma alone. I was waiting for my parents, who would probably not be going to attend that ceremony anyway. The dresser
As I looked back to confirm if my guess was correct about who the owner of that familiar voice was, I saw Drake, who was holding the bouquet of sunflowers. I'm right. It is indeed him. "Hi, um, congratulations?" He greeted me as if he were not sure of what he should say. Yeah, still the same Drake from back then. "Pfft, is it a question or what?!" I giggled. I somehow feel happy to know that someone is here to congratulate me. What's more, he is someone who can make me smile, even just for a second. "Funny," I added. "Well, sorry to say, but I'm quite mesmerized by your beauty, if I may say so." I rolled my eyes. I'm quite surprised to see him here. He never changes; what a joker as ever. He is Drake. Drake Bennett Peterson was both my childhood friend and my childhood sweetheart. We were quite close when we were in grade school because my mother and his mother were friends. Although we never talked again in my middle school years, as I turned into my college years, we had ch
I was so focused on Drake that I never realized that there were still a lot of people in the venue. Cameras are flashing before our eyes when we finally notice that they are taking photos and videos of us. We just look at each other and slightly laugh. Thankfully, there are no paparazzi here. The university limits the number of people who can enter these grounds. Everywhere I look, some people take photos. Because of that, I remember that I forgot to take pictures with Seki!! Ahhh, and I also forgot the camera that Serena gave me. I started to panic a little. Ow gosh... Wait, I did give the camera to Serena since she is attending to see me graduate too, isn't she? If so... Why haven't I seen her? Where is she??! My thoughts are now running berserk. "Smile~" I heard Serena's voice. I smiled in happiness as I saw Serena holding the camera and taking pictures of me. "Serena! I thought you didn't come!" I rushed to hug her. She hugged me back and said, "What are you spouting
"What the—" A big and fluffy dog was on top of me. I was confused at first, but then I didn't feel any fright or fear about it. But it seems like a chest that was kept deep within my mind and heart suddenly released itself from a deep slumber and revealed its presence to me. It was at that very moment that I remembered who it was. "Thoma," I utter. Right in front of me is the dog that my grandparents gifted as a congratulatory gift for my graduation. I named it Thoma. He is a big, fluffy brown chow chow. One of the oldest dog breeds originated in China. They are known for the immense 'lion's mane' ruff that goes around their heads and shoulders. A sudden tear fell from my eyes. Why are you here? Even though I tried to forget you, there is still a part of me that's longing for your existence. Now that I finally have you back, I'm afraid. I am afraid of the fact that the day will come and I will lose you. Once I become attached to you again, you will leave me. Leave me with a
I bought all the things I needed before the project started. It would be a week-long stay on the island. I need to buy outfits I will be using during my stay there. There are only a few days left before the departure of all the contracted models. Seki has been busy in their restaurant while Serena is spending time with her family. I can't ask Drake to accompany me since he is busy with his research. That is why here I am. I looked around alone to see what I should purchase. I am holding a dress when someone grabs it in my hands. "Oops, I got it first," she said with her irritating voice. Just who the hell is she? I want to ask her what her problem is, but as I look at her outfit, it is a very revealing piece of clothing. I decided to not argue. Maybe she lacks clothes to wear; that's why she just uses a small piece of cloth to cover herself. She wears a shiny red cloth that barely covers her chest, which is not that huge, if I should say. Tch, maybe she didn't bother covering
"Ahhhhhh!" I shouted at the top of my lungs but then covered them as soon as I remembered that I hadn't brushed my teeth yet. I angrily looked at my friends, Seki, Teri, and Ryuu, while I covered half of my face with my hands. A burst of great laughter can be heard all around the van. I just realized that we are now inside a van—well, to be exact, it is not just an ordinary van. This was purchased by Hinsen from a great researcher who created the most innovative and convenient van that contains all the necessities inside it. To simply state it, it's a van that looks just like a small house. Yeah, that's pretty much it. "Now, look at our dear princess. That's what you've got if you are a sleepy head," Seki said as she hugged the pillow on the sofa she was sitting on. I sigh as I know that I don't have anything I can do since they already brought me here. So, what are we going to do? I look at them, and they just point to the area where the toiletries are. So I get there, brush my
My head hurts. What happened? Ah... "Is anybody out there?" I heard my voice echo. It is dark—too dark that I can't even see anything. Ahhh, I hate horror, you know? If this is a prank, well, this is not funny! It was as if I were walking in an endless corridor. I have been walking for a long period of time. I decided to stop for a while, but then... A tiny bit of light suddenly sparks from afar. I didn't hesitate to run and chase that light. Ahh, finally, there's a light. As I get nearer and nearer to it, it suddenly turns dimmer and dimmer until it doesn't resemble any light at all. "No! No, no, no... please don't." The light was starting to fade. It then explodes, making a green-colored light. Green... I suddenly remembered that it was his favorite color. I laugh at myself. Why have I been thinking of him up until now? He doesn't even care about me at all. I closed my eyes. Kianna, when can you be freed from this illusion? When can you accept the reality that he isn't mean
I can't help but laugh. I tried to collect myself and hold my laughter, but I just couldn't! Right in front of me is Kieffer. I mean, Francis. He is just... covered with mud. From head to toe. What happened to him??? He looks just like a... grasshopper that jumps in a muddy puddle. Pffft. I looked at him, and he was glaring at me. I raised my right hand and made a peace sign. Wait.. What am I doing? Ever since... I fell unconscious. I can say that my body feels lighter than before. Just like... a yacht finally letting go of its anchor and setting sail in the sea. Ahhhh, I love what I'm feeling right now. Francis finished wiping his face using the towel given to the staff earlier. I just continued eating my meal—okay, fine, I faked eating. Fine? I can't focus on eating while someone is in that state, right? I wonder why he looks like that. The staff from earlier came back hurriedly, saying, "The bath is ready. This way, sir." I sipped my coffee and tried to avoid his gaze,