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CHAPTER 43: REVEALING THE PAST

"You doing okay there, Slayer?"

"After your chat with Mom and Alex? Definitely."

"I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Buffy. I'm proud of myself too."

I picture Buffy flashing one of her signature smiles, and then my thoughts slip into silence. That silence is a welcome respite now more than ever.

There's a limit to how many tears one can shed before the accompanying headache becomes unbearable. I reached my limit exactly two hours and thirty-eight minutes ago—a new personal record.

"New" because I've never cried consecutively for that long about him, and "last" because I won't ever allow myself to cry for that long again. I won't say I'll never cry over him again, period, because I'm only human. An occasional tear may escape down the road, something I can't physically control.

But what I absolutely won't permit him to do from this day forward is haunt my mind and heart. Eighteen years have been enough. It'll be challenging, and I'll fall more times than I can count, but I refuse to let him
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