I’m trembling inside at the turn of this conversation and annoyed that I keep giving him angles to have these heart to hearts. I walk myself into it every time, and he’s being so god damn vocal and open, unlike him of the past who would never share his thoughts and feelings with me, that it always catches me off guard. Trapped between him and his words while being faced with a sea of memories back when I thought Jyeon would be my entire life.
“So, what happens to her now? If I’m here and I remember everything. If you get your way and I stay married to you against my will? Does your mistress still stay in the picture too? One cosy little happy family.” I turn on him, thinking face to face, acting cold is the better option for this chat. Show him I’m not affected or that I care. That the bitch he hated before can still show face. To turn it back to something negative.
I’m startled to find him right behind me, staring at the back
Perfectly captured softness, a setting sun, gentle waves, and the tones of the sand and sea contrast the little dark-haired duo dressed in pristine white formal clothes. The boy stands a head taller and is leaning in slightly to the little girl, her hand clasped so gently in his as though he’s telling her something, and she’s listening intently. Whoever took it got the composure and lighting perfect. The children look young, but there’s a sense of them being caught in their own bubble and oblivious to everything around them except the view. It’s cute and somehow tugs at my heart painfully with a foggy distant feeling of familiarity.“What is this?” I honestly don’t have a clue what it is, even if the kids do strike a resemblance to Jyeon and me. I don’t remember this. But then I forgot a lot of things from when I was young. I’m sure most people do.“That’s us. You were six, and I was nine. It was after a
I walk away and stand by the corner of the bookcase as he seems to pull himself back together physically. Flicking a glance my way and exhaling like he’s disappointed by their arrival. I ignore him, well aware I was just saved from a colossal mistake, and concentrate on self-calming the internal chaos he caused with what he almost did to me.The main door, which faces side on from where I am, is opened, and two figures wander in arm in arm. Yoonah supports his mother as though she has difficulty walking and wheeling in a case with them. They are semi-concealed by the low glass separator that makes the open-plan space into a defined hall and living room where they stop to remove their shoes. Oblivious to my presence at all because of the way they are facing. I watch in wide-eyed silence, my heart erupting with nerves as the two people who used to be my everything take off their outer wear, turning my insides to absolute mush
“It’s this way.” Jyeon leads me along the corridor of the house's second floor, and I pretend I have no clue as to where I am going. It’s not high on my priority list of things to do ever again in my life, but it was the perfect escape route. So glad to have this excuse of seeing our old room while mother and Yoonha sit downstairs and let this past hour sink in. I thought mother would never let go of my hand and stop hugging me. It was weirding me out how emotionally overwrought she was, how affectionate.I’m tense all over and emotionally drained as though they both sucked all my energy out. Yoonha was oddly pensive and quiet and sat by my side, holding my hand without saying a whole lot. Like he couldn’t formulate words other than I’m sorry, which I didn’t understand at all. Maybe guilt that he believed I was dead and stopped looking. I don’t know.“There’s no point touring most of the house as mother
This is one thing that’s been bothering me a lot. That Jyeon hasn’t placed much emphasis on the drastic humanizing of Sohla Park or acted like it’s a massive factor in our past. Somehow he doesn’t seem to notice how significant a change it is. What happened to all the reasons he despised me? All our differences? Why is he now able to talk of Tia with less venom but couldn’t back then? He says he loves me, but now I am a completely different person. Even I know that.“Because you’re the Sohla I grew up with. You’re not different. You’ve returned to who you were. Before marriage, OLO, loss……. To me, it’s finding the girl that was missing much longer than before the accident. The girl I already loved.”I wish I could argue with that logic, but I guess there’s truth in it. I vaguely remember me of my youth as I seamlessly transitioned over the years. I don’t know what I was like or
“My head’s a mess.” I follow Greta around the market, picking up fruit to examine it before tossing a mango in the bag she’s holding open.“I told you, didn’t I…PI…or some hot detective who can look into your disappearance objectively.” After I'm done, she puts the bag in the cart and follows me along to the next set of display shelves to pick out some bananas.Jyeon made good on his promise to fill the apartment with food and necessities but going to an organic produce market together like this is a rare treat. All the island's fresh fruit and vegetables are shipped over to us. We rarely see anything non-seafood-related in quaint little setups like this. The whole area smells divine with the mingled scents of tropical fruits.“I don’t know. I feel like I’m getting deeper and deeper into hot water the longer we’re here. Maybe I should have some kind of episode and suddenly remember i
“Greta…” I warn, cutting into her bitch fight that’s ready to roll and look Claire up and down with cool disinterest. Not going to allow Greta to make a public scene when news only just hit of my miraculous appearance. This is all we would need. Someone filming us and posting it online.“Apologies, my friend is very loyal and has a code of conduct that she lives by. Some things are just shamelessly abhorrent to her.” I smile sweetly, bile rising in my stomach when faced with this wench, and yet I act perfectly. Crazy how even after two years, being back here, I found that mask I could pull out and stick on when faced with tramps like this. That old me can still pull the old trick out.“Wow… you may look different, but you seem the same to me.” Claire yawns on cue as though bored by us and drops her arms to return them to her trolley.“Don’t let us keep you. I’m sure you’re very busy
“You look pretty. Chin up, be confident, and if we get mobbed for questions, let me handle it.” Jyeon picks up my hand by the wrist and envelopes it in his arm, so I hook onto him. His touch causes the same usual stirring of butterflies, and I swallow it down. A cozy partnering to face this damn sea of employees and press at this stupid event. I want to pull myself free, but I know it’s futile. He’s in show mode, just like a million times in our past when we presented a happy marriage to the public eye, and it weighs heavily on me. To be back here with something so stupid.I’m tense, as far away from relaxed as I can get, and I’m overly aware of him and his presence this evening. I’m emotional and feeling raw and can’t seem to pick a mood to stick with. I’m swinging from upset to anger and then teetering on irritation.I have to keep reminding myself that all of this is for my own sake. My freedom, my inheritance, m
Much like my bedroom in the manor, my office is another shrine to my memory. Untouched and kept clean, I cast my eyes at his straight, strong back and follow him in silence. My heart throbbing, and my mind messy. Thinking of the importance of that detail when I know, unlike the house, Jyeon has complete control of what happens at OLO. Mother may have retained my bedroom, but this is all Jyeon.“In here.” Jyeon opens the familiar heavy wooden door, missing its stationed receptionist as all employees are downstairs enjoying free food. He pulls aside to let me wander in, and it’s a relief to see he’s updated this space. The uptight sense of déjà vu doesn’t happen because it no longer feels like Jyeon’s office in OLO HQ. It’s nothing like it used to be and doesn’t feel like walking into another time warp.I glance around at the grey décor, the new furnishings, the complete lack of memories of before. The