Twelve

"How the hell did we not notice her being here?" Jax was throwing a tennis ball against the wall then catching it midair. He was pissed. Flinging the ball was the only thing keeping him in his seat. "How dare she? How fucking dare she? She leaves as if it's no big deal then waltzes back into our lives when we're finally okay with her absence, as if it is nothing?"

"Oh, calm your tits, Red," Harris caught the ball midair this time. "Why should we know she's here? We don't work at the register. And stop throwing this! Gets on my nerves."

"How can you be so calm about it?" Jax rebuked. "She was just as much your friend as she was ours but I never once recall you saying anything against her or, for fuck's sake, about her." 

"Who says I'm calm?" Harris placed the ball in the first drawer of his desk then sat down. "I'm trying so hard but I'm nowhere near calm. I'm a potpourri of emotions, contradictory emotions, right now. And I don't care we didn't notice she's here, I fucking care she dared get a room from us and not drop by to say 'hi losers' at the very least! I swear to God, that woman-"

"Woah, Woah, man. I think you should take your own advice; take a chill pill," but when he noticed the slight curve of Harris' mouth, he knew the man was messing with him. He cursed and headed for the mini bar in the corner to pour himself something strong. "I'm serious, and you're making fun of me. That's shitty, man."

"I'm sorry but you're overdoing it, Jax," Harris said. "I mean, yeah. I get you. I've been there myself. I can't say I'm not at least a little bit angry at her even now. But… it's not her leaving that pisses me off, it's her staying away and out of touch, you know?"

Jax poured himself another glass.

"Obviously, leaving us, she… she made a wreck of us. It came as a shock to me when it happened. When I saw you guys react the way you did, it surprised the hell outta me, man. Knowing her, I bet she didn't have any idea what she was doing to us. Not at that time, not now," he chuckled, staring at nothing. "What I don't understand, what makes me mad, is why she never contacted us." 

"She never said why," Jax pointed out. "Why did she go? Why so abruptly?"

"She said-"

"She lied," Jax interrupted. "The week before graduation, we were talking about finding her a job at the local library. She wanted to stay with us. We even went down to one and talked about employment. No matter what she said then, I knew she was lying. What I don't know, what I never found out, was why?"

Why indeed.

They both sat there motionless. 

Pondering over a rusty friendship.

"We just have to ask her that tonight then," Harris shrugged.

Jax snorted, sarcasm dripping from his smile, "And she'll answer. Easy peasy."

"Come on," Harris stood up. 

"What?"

"In less than three hours we have to be civilized people socializing with our friends, let's go let off some steam. I don't want this evening to be a disaster; I know the others are looking forward to it."

"Where to?" Jax stood up as well, pushing his glasses over his head and scratching his beard.

"The swimming pool." 

###

Twenty-five years and my life is still

Trying to get up that great big hill of hope

For a destination

When Elvina and Harmonee joined the party, everyone was there, merrily singing their hearts out. Everyone except the reason for this get-together. Harmonee looked around. She was not there yet.

"You started without me," Harmonee joined his friends. Scott and Harris were both playing their instruments, a duet of piano and guitar. "You always start without me. The worst bandmates ever!" He was pointing his finger at the other four, scowling. 

"You are always late," Kaden said and Scott shrugged, saying, with that simple gesture, 'what can I do, bro, there's no defending you'.

"Are you going to join us or are you going to cry, little girl?" Jax was already buzzed. Not a surprise. Jax was always "already buzzed". It was a habit of his. The redhead started his mornings with wine and moved up the echelon of alcoholic drinks until he got to the top and ended his night with vodka or tequila. 

Harmonee glared at the man for a second before joining in. Singing along to the last song they'd ever performed as a band on their graduation party years ago. The last time they were allowed to dream and live the dream.

And so I wake in the morning

And I step outside

And I take a deep breath and I get real high

And I scream from the top of my lungs

What's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey

I said hey, what's going on?

When the show was over, there came a loud round of applause from their audience, which they had not noticed had grown in size during their performance. Even Elvina was shocked and turned to see who else was there. It took her a moment to recognize the face who was as usual makeup-free and kind of pale. More than before but slightly so. 

"Tilly!" Kaden and Harmonee cheered simultaneously and approached her with hugs and kisses. Elvina was not moving. Neither was Scott, who was sitting behind the piano gaping not at Matilda but at Matilda's companion.

Boom Boom.

It was not possible.

How could it be possible?

Boom Boom. 

As per usual, Matilda ignored Elvina and went for the other three who were just staring without saying anything. "Harris," she nodded her head respectfully in the man's direction then turned to Jax, who was fuming. "Hey Red."

"Only my friends call me that," he snapped.

"I don't remember ever breaking up with you," Matilda said taken aback but trying not to show it. 

He stared.

She stared right back.

His mouth was filled with foul and hostile words that he was trying so hard to keep inside for the time being.

Her posture was taunting him to stoop as low as humanly possible.

Before Jax could explode, though, Elvina did. "What are you doing here?" she then directed her eyes at her own brother, whose smile from seconds ago was long gone. "What is she doing here?" And then, at the exact second the penny finally dropped, she gasped and took a step away. "We're here to celebrate her return? What is wrong with you guys?" Her resentful eyes were staring everyone down. "What is wrong with you, Kade?"

"Elly," Kaden said a little sharply. "Stop." From the look in his eyes Elvina's reaction had not surprised him in the least. He was just disappointed.

Scott was still actively staring at the girl who was standing next to Matilda. Glued to his seat and oblivious to the happenings around him, he was trying hard to find out whether the girl was real or he was hallucinating. But how could he? He was not even drunk!

"What is going on here?" Matilda asked Harmonee just as Elvina attacked her brother.

"Stop?" Elvina snapped. "You're letting her back into your lives? After what she did? Just like that? Haven't you learned anything?"

"What did I do exactly?" Matilda crossed her arms over her chest, now smiling defiantly. Defending herself. 

Was she mocking them?

It was more than that.

A facade. 

Her way of dealing with things that could hurt.

Elvina laughed dryly at that. "What did you- are you serious?"

"I sat down with you guys, told you my plans, then left," she stated. "What's wrong with that? Didn't you leave them once as well? When you got married? And I've heard Harmonee here had also left a couple of years ago. So, what seems to be the problem here? As far as I know I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't run away in the dead of the night without even leaving a note. I talked to you. What's with the judge-y faces?"

"You left," Jax replied. A little less angry.

"Yeah. And?"

"And you stayed away. On purpose," Harris said.

Matilda chuckled. But when nobody joined, she guffawed, "Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't a joke?" she looked around. "Hold on, so you're pissed because I, what, didn't call you everyday or text you? Was I something you guys owned? By befriending me, the orphan, did you somehow make me one of your toys or something? Because this doesn't make any sense. And if you hated me this much why the fuck invite me here? Was this part of the plan so you could ambush me like this?" The last part was directed at Kaden.

"No," said Kaden and Harmonee at the same time. "No, we wanted you here." Kaden took a step closer to her. 

"Then what?" She was trying to keep calm, to control her anger. She did not want to lash out at them but the smile she was wearing was strained, ready to melt off her face. "Because it seems to me, I'm the only one who isn't welcomed here."

"After years of, you know, distance it isn't exactly a surprise this is happening," Kaden glared at the others. "But we did start off on the wrong foot here. Why don't we sit down and talk about this like civilized people?"

The girl standing by Matilda's side, feeling the heaviness of a pair of eyes on herself looked around the room uncomfortably and started upon seeing the piano man. The one she had talked to that night. She swiftly took her eyes off him though to focus on Matilda.

"I'm not gonna stay if she's staying," Elvina warned, just when the redhead muttered, "You lied to us. It hurt."

Deciding to ignore the accusation and the big sister threat, Matilda turned to the redhead, "So you get to hurt me back? Is that it? A tit for tat? Couldn't you just let me say hi before jumping me?" 

Timing. Life is all about timing. And bad timing is a devastating thing. At that moment, when everyone was tense and angry, Madora the chef, produced a beautiful nice-smelling mouthwatering cake and put it on the table. To add salt to the wound, she was smiling brightly, proud of herself for what she had made. A very short-lived moment of self-satisfaction which was soon shattered by no other than her own boss.

"What's this?" Harris snapped at her for intruding upon a critical moment of their lives. "Who asked for cake? What are you doing here? Why aren't you doing your job, Miss Fay?"

Taken aback and red to the neck with shame and embarrassment, Madora looked to Harmonee then Jax, "I'm sorry, sir, I was-"

"We asked her to do this man for tonight," Harmonee came to the rescue. 

"Get out of here!" Harris ordered, not in a booming voice, but in a scarily lowered and composed voice.

"You left us with a lie," Harris then directed that calm fury at Matilda. "You disappeared from our lives, and that's what hurt. I mean, sure, I can understand that but I can't understand the rest pf it. You see, friends leave, yes, but they keep in touch. They don't just drop the face of the earth. You deleted us from your life and ripped yourself from ours. That's what's making us so angry every time we think about you. Maybe you're the one who hated us so much that you needed to erase us from your world."

Matilda then started coughing. She coughed and coughed. It did not seem to be stopping any time soon. Her companion stood by her side whispering words in her ears while Kaden ran to bring her some water. When finally it stopped, she straightened up and looked at them all defiantly, "I didn't lie."

"Then you were hiding something and that is lying still."

She said nothing. Neither denying nor confirming Harris', and in general all of their accusations. Silence is a great form of reply sometimes, the most powerful maybe, but other times it is just admission to guilt. 

She said nothing.

She just stared.

Glared.

"Why did you leave?" Harris asked.

"I told you then, I'm telling you now, again, I left because I needed to go see the world. To live a little," She wheezed like an unhealthy octogenarian who had climbed a twenty-story building.

"I really think we should go, Em," the girl standing beside her with an anxious look said as she eyed the room warily. But Matilda only shook her head and continued, "I had never been to any place other than the orphanage and then school and my dorms. The only travel I ever did was from one dorm room to the next. That wasn't enough, I wanted more. What's wrong with that?"

"There's more to it," Harris said. "You're not saying all of it."

"You don't know that," Matilda coughed again. "You don't know me that well."

"That's what you wish to believe, isn't it? Sorry to disappoint."

The smile was long gone and in its place was a deep frown and if one looked closely jaw-grinding. "This is nonsense. Once you've got your head out of your ass, you know where to find me."

With her companion's help then, she turned around and left the room as another bout of coughing wracked her body. 

This party was a mess.

And for the first time, it was not Jax's or Harmonee's fault.

Kaden looked at his sister with sadness in his eyes, and maybe a dose of disappointment before he followed the retreating girls. 

Scott, just then coming to his senses, jumped to his feet and followed him out. He was not going to let that girl out of his sight this time, not until he knew her name and phone number. 

"Kaden!" Elvina shouted at her brother like a concerned mother does when her kid's in danger. "Kaden, don't do this!"