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Chapter 50
'I miss you, Clea.'
'I... I still have. I love you, Clea.'
'I know, Clea, I know. It's just that, when I saw it again earlier, I got so confused. I suddenly feel scared. Questions flooded my mind. What if I was wrong for entertaining my relationship with her? I started doubting my feelings for her. I don't know if it was genuine or did I just consider that because of my obligations. I'm not sure about how I feel for her but I do know that I still have feelings for you, Clea. Am I a jerk because I'm so confused about how I feel, Clea?'
I rose from the bed and held my chest while panting. I was sweating even if the night is cold. Even if I feel like I'm freezing as the wind gets in contact with my skin.
I dreamed of Exiquel's words whic
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Well, I'm kinda planning to call a friend to let out the negative feelings and energy I've got from the party earlier.I called him then head out to the veranda while waiting for him to answer my call. Joy filled my system when he answered it.[Good thing I am not home yet. I've got a feeling that you'll call.] He chuckled which made me giggle too."What? Are you a psychic now? I never thought that you are one though. You look like a yokai more," I laughed when he snorted.I heard him sighed and a faint sound from the background, a sign that he moved.[This is the first time you've called me and it feels like something that has made a deep cut in you has been bothering you. Your aura
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"Same goes to you," I forced a smile and nodded. "You won't stop loving him even if he keeps on hurting you."I shook my head because I really want to stop so hard. I want to get rid of the feelings I am feeling for him so bad because I already suffered a lot be because of that.I bowed my head then covered my mouth. "I don't know what to do anymore, River," I said between the sobs I was trying to stiffle. My voice was muffled so I wasn't sure if he understood what I told him.He messed my hair. "I won't tell you to stop loving him because you have no control with that. And it's normal, clumsy girl. It is normal to fall in love and live with that feeling because it feels good to have that. And it is normal to get hurt, but it is bad not to pull yourself up when you stumble and fall."
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I went to the pharmacy first to buy some stuff such as medicine and another thing that would clear my mind from confusion and curiosity. I have bought five pregnancy test to make sure about my suspicion.I was gulping for several times while driving on my way home. I am nervous. I am scared. I am happy. I can't understand what I am feelibg right now because the result of those things later will decide if I'm still going to let go or hold on to give the baby a complete family.I was walking back and fort inside the bathroom while waiting for the result. I don't want to look at it.Tears are streaming down my face for several reasons. They're streaming down my cheeks to comfort and make me feel the fear that I might be the worst mom if I ever do what I want without thinking about what he
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I knew that I am fragile, but I can't believe that I am this fragile that I am also hurting whenever I see pain in his eyes.I massaged my temple. "Shit, what should I do next? Push him away just like how he pushed me back then?" I asked myself with sarcasm overflowing from my voice.I was just waiting for the adobo to be ready when Exiquel came back. He raised the cup he used for drinking his coffee then smiled while I just nodded.He sat on the opposite side of the table, facing me. "Are you upset because of me?" He asked in a careful way like I will break like a fragile glass of he yell.I sucked my tongue and shook my head as a response. "No, I'm just disappointed," That you keep on lying to me about what you really feel. "Disappo
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"Why are you so shy? He's your husband. You live in the same roof, you sleep on the same bed and I'm sure as fuck that you even did some wonders in the cold nights."Damn, why did I forgot about Soleil's unfiltered mouth?"Shh," I tied my hair up. "I'll go now. Just please keep quiet. I don't know what your mom has fed you when you were young to turn into some sort blunt bitch," I joked."Oh bitch, it's not my mom who fed me something amazing," She wiggled her eyebrows. "It's my daddy who fed me something pleasurable."I made a disgusted face and rolled my eyes. Oh my goodness!"Whatever you say, Sol. I'll get going before you can completely pollute my mind," I said the walked out on
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I fisted my hands while accompanying myself to the parking lot of the mall. My vision is getting clouded by red dots because of my lust to kill that fucked up old man.I drove back to our house to change my dress into something comfortable like jogging pants and a shirt. I don't want to ruin a dress just because I am about to fight my father.How dare he ruin me to my sister? How dare he pass the blame on me when it is always been him who keeps on interfering with our lives? How dare he involve an innocent person?I was about to march up to my room when I saw Quel on the sofa in the living room while clenching his fists. His aura is so dark to the point that I can imagine him killing someone with his bare hands.He
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"Am I not enough? I did everything so you could spare me a drop of love. I have always been choosing you over me. Your happiness over mine. Forgiveness over hatred and revenge. But you never did the same."I covered my face. "What about me? What about me? When are you going to choose me? When are you going to love me? When are you going to forgive me? When will I ever earn a drop of happiness? I am," I almost can't utter it because I never really felt it. "I am your daughter, too." I mumbled.The sound of my cries mixed with the roaring laughter of my father."You got to be kidding me," He said. "You're not even my daughter," He was smirking while saying that. "Do you want to know what you are? You are a fruit of something disgusting. You are a reminder of something terr
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