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Chapter 20
James is no good. James is bad for me, for my mental health, my physical health, my everything. I let him fool me, I let myself believe that he cared for me. Thinking about it makes me furious with myself. How could I let him in? How could I kiss him and lay in bed with him? For all I know, he could have strangled me in my sleep. He could have contemplated suffocating me with the pillow he laid his head on.
How could he hurt me again? How could I let him?
James was never going to bring me back and love me like I let myself believe. I want to yell at him and never see him again at the same time. He's embarrassed me in front of my Alpha, gave me hope when there was none, and has the guts to lay in my bed with me, knowing that everything he's been feeding me is lies. He is a monster. He is cruel and manipulative.
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Too Beautiful for the Alpha Chapter 21
Both of the windows in my bedroom are open and the cool air floods in rapidly. Not bothering to keep myself warm, I sit on my bed in my pajamas, waiting for him. The room is dark. The only light is leaking from the bathroom, through the closed door. The Moon creates a glow in my room, all white objects now a hazy blue.It makes me feel as if I'm dreaming, this glow, these hues. I hold onto my pillow, suffocating it in my arms as my eyes stay fixated on the middle window, the one right across from me. The forest looks like a black, stormy ocean during the night, and he emerges from it like the beast who lurks in its depths. My heart races as I wait for him.The coldness cleanses me. My toes lose feeling and my lips turn blue, but I feel crisp, I feel fresh. The sounds of footsteps against grass bring my heart to a sudden halt, and I hard
Too Beautiful for the Alpha Chapter 22
Maybe I'm an addict. Maybe he's my own personal drug, my own breed of liquor. When I look at him now, in the front seat, driving, I can't help but think about jerking the wheel and colliding with the monstrous tree just ahead. It's the call of the void. It's that one split second where the real darkness within seeps out and takes over. My eyes stare at the wheel, my hand fists my shirt, then I glance off out the window.I try to do things that are good for me, sometimes. I convince myself that I'm not going to give in again, but when you're addicted to something, who knows. Maybe I don't care anymore. Being hurt is familiar, unlike our moments when he's kind to me. Those moments are more frequent, and I'm worried that I'll grow used to them. Is it wrong to feel grounded when I'm hurting? I don't know anything else. What if I won't like being happy?
Too Beautiful for the Alpha Chapter 23
Maybe I've been dreaming because no situation has felt as real as this one does now. My heart won't settle, my hands won't keep still, I have to take deep breaths every little bit to calm myself. It's only dinner. We've dealt with many more nerve-racking things before, but for some reason, this one scares me the most. It's the most normal. The most foreign to me.I brush my hair while standing in front of the mirror in my cozy bathroom, stroking the dark strands as it runs through. This seems to relax me. It's six thirty, and I heard someone walk down the hall a few minutes ago. Assuming it was James, my mind keeps wandering to him, wondering what he's doing. I think he's in the shower.I set my brush down and leave the bathroom to change. My robe is wrapped tightly around me as I rummage through the closet, already knowing what's in th
Too Beautiful for the Alpha Chapter 24
I hurry downstairs after hearing James call for me, saying Theodore is here. Turning to the foyer, I find the two talking, but they don't seem to notice me. James is saying something quietly, sounding quite serious. Not knowing if I should interrupt, I hang back and drift closer, hoping someone sees me eventually. I watch as James places his hand on Theodore's shoulder. "Understand?"Theodore nods and his eyes find me. He motions and James turns around."Are you ready?" James asks as I walk in. Theodore opens the door for us, but just as I make my move to walk out, James holds me.I look up at him with a smile. "I'm ready to go.""Just be careful. Don't do anything reckless, andstay on the land."
Too Beautiful for the Alpha Chapter 25
After wandering around for nearly an hour, I ran into the border and told a guard that I had gotten lost. After convincing him that James is my Mate, he led me back to the pack house. Now we wait standing at the door for someone to answer. Thankfully, Gail opens up and looks at me, then the guard. "What are you doing back so soon? I thought Theodore was taking you on a tour around the pack grounds?"Before I can speak, the guard asks authoritatively, "You confirm that this young lady is mated to Alpha Grant?"Gail pulls me in. "Yes, she is. You can go now. Come on."She shuts the door and I drift into the kitchen where Theresa is. Gail follows behind me. "You're back early," Theresa comments. "Where's Theodore?""I left him."
Too Beautiful for the Alpha Chapter 26
I stand in the mirror and run a comb through my hair, brushing through it before bed. My mind cannot stop wandering to earlier when James and I kissed on his bed, and the thought makes me giddy. My cheeks have been stained red, and my lip quivers as his lips haunt mine. I feel like a young girl, the one I never was. The girl that kissed a boy in the trees then ran off to tell her friends about it, only I have no friends here. There's James, then Gail and Theresa, Theodore, Will, Claire, my mother, Noah... Is it sad that I can list all of the people I've interacted with through these past few months?I need to find a friend, and not the kind of friends the girls at my pack used to have—always talking about each other—but a real friend. Obviously, Claire won't work, and Theodore probably finds me annoying. Gail and Theresa are lovely, but I need someone my age. Preferably a gir
Too Beautiful for the Alpha Chapter 27
My eyes stay fixated on James as I lay beside him, the sun just beginning to rise through the shutters. After the doctors left, after they stitched him up, he stayed here and fell asleep and he's been asleep since. James slept through the night seamlessly, and I assume he must be healing. Alpha blood heals at a quicker pace, but I didn't know he would be asleep for all of it. Part of me hoped for meaningful conversation as he rested in my bed, pillow talk, something deep.The doctors said he would be back to normal in a day or two.I get out of bed and walk into the bathroom, shutting the door while I wake up and turn on the shower. I don't lock the door, and part of me gets a rush, but the other focuses on the fact that he'll be asleep for the day. Anyway, I step in and try to rekindle the flame, gathering up the excitement again. My h
Too Beautiful for the Alpha Chapter 28
Setting down the diary, I look at the clock and see that it's almost time for dinner. Needing a break from Julianna's thoughts, I get up from my bed and make my way to the door, wanting to see if I can help Theresa prepare. Just as I reach for the door handle, it opens. I jump and notice James on the other side. "Oh, hi, I was just going downstairs to help with dinner," I say, feeling my heart calm down."Sorry to scare you," he says, coming inside, "but my father insists on helping with the pack until I'm fully healed. He wants to come over tonight so I can brief him on recent issues, so you can't be here."I nod, slowly. "Sowhere will I go?""Theodore is going to keep you busy until he leaves. The gathering is tonight so I thought he could take you to that. It will onl
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