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57| Goodbyes and Road Trips
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Toxic Paradise 58| The Stuff That’s Important
I nodded, thankful for the dismissal. I was quick to grab my red one-piece out of my suitcase and headed into the bathroom to change. I liked this suit. It was one of my favorites because of the way the cut outs revealed only the best curves of my body. The bright red also brought out my tan skin, and I was pretty sure Alec was going to like the look as well. I didn't bother with a shirt as I pulled my shorts back on. Before exiting the bathroom, I took a moment to splash some cold water on my face. "Snap out of it, Jayna," I scolded. I needed to get a grip. This was the same Alec who I'd been living with for over a month. The same Alec who could be a complete and total jackass. But also, the same Alec who had a way of making my heart beat like I had just run a marathon. I patted my face dry with the scratchy hotel towel, ran my fingers through my hair, and exited the bathroom to join Alec, who was already changed into his swim trunks and a light blue t-shirt. The color looked great
Toxic Paradise 59| Conquering Fears
We both had put on our gear, making our way into the cool water. I had a momentary flashback to our first snorkel date together; not that it was an official date, but I definitely had feelings for him already. The memory made me smile. "What are you smiling at?" He asked."Just thinking about how silly you look in your goggles," I teased."Yeah well, you've looked better yourself," He retorted, a smile tugging at his lips as we both waded into the water. He reached out to hold my hand, tugging me along as we searched the sand for trash. Occasionally, he would dive down and pull something from the sand, but once the trash was secured in his bag, he would grab my hand again. I liked the feel of his hand in mine. We weren't at a prime snorkel spot, so we didn't see as many fish as we had the first time, but after about 10 minutes, Alec tapped my shoulder, pointing at something in the distance. For a second, my heart thudded against my chest and I squeezed hard to Alec's hand, paranoi
Toxic Paradise 60| All In (pt. 1)
After stopping to get some food, Alec and I headed back to the hotel, and my jitters had returned. At first we were fine, both eating our take-out as we watched The Office. Normally, I was a fan of the show; not obsessed with it like everyone else I knew, but I liked it and appreciated the subtle humor. Tonight, however, as I sat beside Alec in bed, most of the one-liners that I normally would have laughed at just went over my head. I couldn't focus on anything else aside from the ridiculously handsome man casually laying beside me. I wondered if he could tell how nervous I was. I was fine when we were out, but something about being in a hotel room and in a bed, alone with Alec, filled me with nerves. This was different than the night he spent with me after my nightmare. Then, I was vulnerable, and it was spontaneous, so I didn't have time to work myself up like I was doing now. I didn't second guess myself when I went to make a move. What if I wasn't going to be good in bed? Ser
Toxic Paradise 61| All In (pt. 2)
We laid together for a while, my head resting on Alec's broad, muscled chest. The air conditioner blasted my naked body and I shuddered, pulling myself closer to steal some of Alec's body heat. He definitely had enough of it; he felt like a furnace. "Seriously?" He asked, running a hand up and down my arm. "How are you cold after what we just did?" I chuckled. "You keep it so cold in here. And besides, the air conditioner is on my side of the bed blasting me." He tightened his grip around my body, holding me to his chest as he rolled over, moving me to the other side of him so he could spoon me from behind. "Better?" I was glad he couldn't see the ridiculous grin on my face from his angle. "Much." There was a long moment of silence to the point where I had thought Alec might have fallen asleep, but I could still feel him rubbing a hand up and down my arm in slow, soothing movements. This was nice. Alec had exceeded my expectations in every way, and honestly, I just wanted more.
Toxic Paradise 62| Text From the Ex (pt. 1)
The days following our little road trip were great, and dare I say, some of the best days of my life. We had returned back to the house the next day, and our days had been full of beach time, swimming, and napping, followed by nights of hot tubbing, dining, and snuggling. Oh... and of course the sex. The mind blowing sex was definitely a huge part of our time together. Despite everything negative that Alec and done and said to me back when we were feuding, he really was sweet now. He always put me first, and I could feel myself slowly chipping away at the walls he had built up over the years. Each night we spent together, he revealed more and more of himself, and really, I couldn't ask for more than that. He was trying, and I could see the efforts. It even seemed like Alec was coming around to the idea of a relationship. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but the way things were going with us, I couldn't help but see a future with him. Albeit a way different future than the one I
Toxic Paradise 63| Text From the Ex (pt. 2)
Dinner was phenomenal. I'm talking 3 course, fancy drinks, beautiful presentation... phenomenal. At this point, I'd say the only downfall was that it's impossible to feel sexy with a literal food baby. I named him Trevor. Alec and I were in his bed now, my head laying on his warm chest while his hand lazily brushed the bare skin on my arm. "I don't want you to leave tomorrow," he said, breaking the silence."I know," I let out a sigh. "I don't want to go home tomorrow either, but I need to. It's time I get my life back on track." He smiled, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "As long as I get to be a part of that life from now on." I sat up, leaning down to plant another kiss on his full lips. "Well, that's a given." I placed a palm on his chest, pushing myself up and off the bed. "I'll be back. I need to pee." He chuckled. "So ladylike you are." I took my time in the bathroom, trying to make up for my food baby by finger combing my hair and applying some of Alec's chapstick.
Toxic Paradise 64| Alone Together
I cried the rest of the night. As I packed the rest my stuff, the vacation house felt so different. It didn't have the inviting warmth and fun atmosphere that it had when Ryan was here; or the intimacy that I felt here alone with Alec. It just felt cold, empty, and impersonal.I couldn't believe that after all of this, after everything that has happened, I was leaving paradise feeling more broken and humiliated than when I arrived. It was a long, depressing flight back, but I finally made my way up the stairs and back to my familiar apartment. It's crazy how living in Chicago, you could be surrounded by tons of people, yet feel so incredibly alone. That's how I felt. Completely alone... again. I wheeled my suitcase through my apartment, which Maddie had been taking care of for me, so it actually was clean and warm when I arrived. I stopped for a minute to look out at the Chicago skyline, taking a deep breath before heading into my bedroom. I left my suitcase in the corner and out
Toxic Paradise 65| Alec (pt. 1)
Alec's POV:"Fucking idiots," I thought as I had to tell my co-worker that his microphone was muted for the 10th time today.In his defense, everything had been pissing me off lately. I had gotten home over a week ago and still, Jayna was on my mind constantly. It was irritating as hell. I couldn't stop thinking about her scent, the feel of her small body safe in my arms, and the crazy thoughts that came out of her mouth. I tried everything to move on, and I thought it would be easy, but it hasn't been. I was even having trouble with sex... and I never had trouble with sex. I had tried multiple times and with several women, but I just couldn't get turned on. Even some of my regular hook-ups just weren't doing it for me any more; not unless I pretended they were Jayna.And it pissed me off. I knew she was probably back with her ex...whatever the fuck his name was...Dean? Derek? Dipshit? I supposed it didn't really matter. What mattered was that he probably had his undeserving hands
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