Chapter Ten: I'm Hungry

Hadley

Pushing the button to roll the window down, I try not to weep as I realize who's stopped to help us. At least it's not a stranger – not that we know Patrick any better than one – but it's a familiar face. My hands shake as I brace them against the steering wheel, trying to calm my galloping heart. If I still had those Xanax I used to take when the careful life I'd planned for myself had spiraled out of control, I'd pop one of those things in a fucking nanosecond right now.

"Hey," I fake a bravado I don't have. I'm two seconds away from crumbling into a sobbing ball of mush. Everything inside of me wishes stuff like this doesn't bother me, that I'm able to take care of incidentals like this on my own. The truth is I can't, and I don't know I'll ever be able to. But for the last two years there's been no one for me to lean on or ask for help. The fact he's here right now, means way more to me than it should.

"You okay?" he asks, taking his glasses off his face. His hazel eyes roam the car, check me out, and then flash to the backseat where Riley sits.

"Scared the crap out of me," I admit, because I still can't stop my hands from shaking and my voice trembling gives me a way.

He leans in putting his hand over mine. "Scared me, too. I was behind you in traffic when I saw you hit the debris. You did a good job keeping it straight."

My gaze moves down to where he's touched me. I absorb the strength in his grasp, letting it wash through me, taking away the shakes. A zip of electricity shoots all the way from my fingers down my arm and to my belly. Whenever my ex-husband would touch me, it was nothing like this. It was cold, calculated, and designed to hold me under his control. This is warm and reassuring. Now I'm breathing deeply for another reason, trying to make my heart regulate.

Turning my attention to the words he spoke, I try not to let my face broadcast the emotions going through me right now. The praise makes me feel better about our situation and I don't want to admit his recognition of my ability to handle emergencies makes me happy. However, I'm still unsure if I want to give anyone the ability to make me happy or sad ever again.

"Thanks," I clear my throat and cut my eyes to where he still has his hand over mine.

"Your hands are so cold," he mumbles, prying my fingers off the wheel and holding them between his two palms.

It's reaction and shock setting in. I know because I've been here before. The minute I got the divorce papers, I'd shivered and been almost as cold as I am right now. Instead of trying to stop his trying to warm me up, I let him continue. It's nice to feel the warm skin of another human being.

"You okay?" he throws a look into the back seat at Riley, for the first time acknowledging her.

"I'm hungry," she complains as she sighs.

Great, just great.