Chapter 6 - Richard

Two months later…

Standing under the spray of the shower, I only just now realize that I’m washing my hair with face wash instead of shampoo. Ugh! This is the third time I’ve done that this week. I sigh, washing my hair out and making sure that I get the shampoo this time.

I’ve been doing stupid shit like that a lot lately. Orange juice in my cereal. Forgetting to take the pen cap off of the pen before I use it. Salt instead of sugar in my coffee. Just absentminded stuff. I can’t seem to focus on anything. The only thing that seems to be able to keep my attention is sparring in the arena.

The first week after Carl and I rejected each other is a complete blur. I barely remember anything. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I barely ate. I hardly slept. I was extremely depressed, but I couldn’t let others see that. I couldn’t let them know that I’d rejected my mate because I couldn’t let everyone know that I’m gay. That could lead to fights for my position and diss