Chapter 35 - Rough Love

Whiskey.

The numb emptiness didn’t leave me, it faded somewhat, but I could still feel it. If I wasn’t so used to blocking myself off to pain and emotion, I would guess that it would frustrate me. But I actually kind of enjoyed it. The uncaring and unfeeling state of mine was freeing. I lost any guilt I had for what I had done over the past few years, however small that piece of guilt may have been. Though that slight sliver of doubt still lingered in the back of my mind. Always on repeat, eating inside my thoughts, ‘did I do the wrong thing?’ With this new hollow feeling, I could no longer see or feel that small slice of doubt. It was fantastic. All that aside, the fact that I still don’t know what has brought on or caused this new state of mind, it bugs me. I am determined to find out. And I will, I always do.