Wow, I can’t believe she has asked me to stay with her for a coffee. Though I didn’t want to leave her. I didn’t know that I wanted to stay either. My head right now is just a chaotic mess. It does not know what it wants. My head and my heart are hurting. Being with her feels so natural, yet a little uncomfortable. I feel at ease being with her, like it is where I am meant to be. I don’t think I can just give that up. Is that how she feels? Is that why she asked me to stay for a coffee? We go and sit down while we wait for the staff to bring our order over. I felt like an idiot when I had said she should try Abuela’s churros. It just felt like a natural thing to say. Talk about making a conversation awkward. It will never happen. Could never happen as she did not want me, did not want to be with me. “So I guess I owe you an explanation, Guapo?” Esme reaches across the table for my hand. I whip my hand back, not wanting her to touch me. She looks shocked at my actions, bu
I am shaking as I take in his words. He wants me to reject him? I look to him. He is looking me right in the eyes. He doesn’t look angry. If anything he looks hurt, he looks scared. Does he want me to reject him? Or is he scared of me rejecting him? “Do you want me to reject you Guapo?” I say softly. “Well, that is what you do when you don’t want to be with someone, isn’t it?” he says, the nerves are evident now in his voice. I am sure of it. “But I do want to be with you though. More than you realise, I think Gabe.” I say, biting my lip after speaking, nervous of his reaction. “Ok, so you say, but you say we can't be together, Esme, you say we can’t be mates, so surely you should just reject me? You don’t need me” he says. I swear he is struggling to hold back tears. I know I am hearing his words. I know what he is saying makes sense. My parents asked me if I had rejected him when I had called once I had got home and told them I had run out on him. They had assume
I have to fight tears all the way to my car. Then the second I climb into the driver's seat and shut the door, it is like a fucking flood gate has opened. Tears are coming and they will not go away. I want her so badly. Why in all of holy hell did I let myself come to see her today? Why did I not ring Manuel or Knox for her number so they could convince me this was a bad idea?! Why did I not turn and go home when I began to have doubts?! Why, why, why, why, why and fucking why again?! So many whys and what if's. I messed up. I should never have hugged her. I had stopped her touching me because the contact was throwing me, was confusing me. The sensation from the mate bond felt good, yet it hurt, because, right now in my mind, it is associated with rejection too. But I crave the sensation because it is the mate bond and it feels so fucking good. This is one messed up situation! Then, when I took her in my arms, I was done for. I knew instantly I had made an immense m
Walking back to my apartment having watched Gabe walk away from me knowing that he had basically told me he didn’t want to see me again was one of the most painful things I had done. I know I can’t have him, but I don’t want to let him go either. I thought maybe we could still chat or occasionally meet up, I guess. As spending time with him today has been good, I love being around him, it just feels right, so natural and like it is meant to be. Which I know is stupid, as I know it is technically meant to be as it is what the Moon Goddess has fated, she has fated for Gabe and I to be together, to be a couple, so it should only feel right for us to be together, to be in one another's company. Yet there is too much at risk for us from being together. I thought when he kissed me he wanted the same thing, hoped perhaps he would consider being together, but not as mates, as selfish as that may be. So when he uttered the words he thought it was better we didn’t see each other or speak
All preparations were in place. Flights were all booked. My Mum and Dad were heading over to our house to meet with us all to let us know what the Werewolf Council had said. I was pacing anxiously, hoping they would be the bearer of good news. If the council had not been willing to listen, then we would have a serious fight on our hands to defend Manuel and his new mate. Plus, we had very little chance of helping Esme or the other females in the pack have a normal chance of freedom and life, where they are not treated like second-rate citizens to the men in the pack. Lilah had already got the coffee and tea made and the group of us were sitting in the lounge. Indie and Dan, with Finn curled up asleep on Dan’s knee. It sounded like he had been causing chaos for Indie today, so no doubt he tired himself out. Jake was stood chatting to Manuel and Lola. I assume about the planned mission, ready for tomorrow. Gabe, I had not been able to get hold of. I had tried calling in to
I am lying in bed, my arms wrapped around my beautiful mate. Where I imagined I would feel happiest. But right now, I feel like my world is crumbling around me. It is already the early hours. We returned home from Lilah and Knox’s home having heard the news and discussing the final arrangements for tomorrow. Lola and I ordered in a pizza and watched a film, as neither of us could be bothered to cook. Our cases for tomorrow were now sat by the front door, everything ready to go. But in truth I did not want to go. I was terrified. I was unsure what tomorrow and this trip would hold. Would I be coming home with my mate? Would I be coming home heartbroken because she had chosen to stay with her pack and her family because of the punishments her Alpha has chosen for her for breaking their pack rules by allowing me to mark her? We had had a soak in the bath together to relax, and then headed to bed in the hopes of an early night. Having some fun before sleep, which was difficult to
We have been up and out of pack early. Knox had arranged for cars to take us to the nearest airport in plenty of time for our flights. We had a chance to check in, and then grab some breakfast. Plenty of coffee was going to be needed today, I think. I had not slept well last night, constantly going over in my mind the plans for the mission. It may turn out completely different to what we had planned, and may go smoothly, but from everything we had heard about the Crimson Night Pack and their Alpha, I had a sinking feeling that was highly unlikely. I had more chance of winning the lottery, I think. This is the first major mission I have been solely in charge of that Knox has not been by my side, so there is that added responsibility. But I feel more responsible because of the fact this involves two of my closest friends and their fated mates. I want this to be fixed for them. I see how broken Gabe is and that terrifies me because that is so unlike the Gabe we are used to. Even wh
We are sat in the car heading toward my pack, Crimson Night Pack. Hell on earth….. And things were going to get a whole lot worse when Alpha Jace realised I had allowed my fated mate to mark me without me even asking him or letting him know….. Manny is driving, and I am in the passenger seat. I feel sick with nerves quite honestly and would like nothing more than to get straight back onto that plane and go back to Midnight Forest Pack. I felt safe there. They can protect me there, right? Jake was sat on the back seat, he seemed like he was a mixture of nerves and thoughtfulness. I wonder if he is going over the plans again and again in his head? Manny has said he is one for planning and preparation, so maybe he is just wanting to make sure they are well prepared? It is a bit hard to be well prepared when the Alpha you are coming up against is pretty unpredictable though. When he changes his mind more than time changes…. Alpha Jacob, Javier and Mateo were in the car dri