Chapter 33

Locking myself in the bathroom, I go to the sink and splash some water on my face. I exhale, I can’t believe myself, I have a serious problem, I mean what the hell is wrong with me, why do I tend to enjoy moments like that with Richie? It’s Richie for crying out loud, I hate him with all my heart and I hate everything about him but why- why do I like it when he touches me? Why do I enjoy his touch?

I sigh splashing water on my face again. All of this is just too much for me to handle. I don't understand why I can't resist Richie, resisting him is that simple, I just have to tell him that I’m not ready for this or tell him that now is not the time but somehow I can’t bring myself to do that. It’s almost as if I forget everything else in the world when he touches me and the only thing I can think of at that moment is what his hands are doing to me. God! This is so frustrating, I can’t keep doing this, Richie’s touch makes me weak. And I hate that. I don’t want to be weak, I need to be s