Confused

I get home and the physical part of my training gets intensified. I don’t know what’s else to do. This is the only way I could think of to help me blow off some steam. I have to get these emotions under control. I have destroyed all of my targets, and I have to make new targets. As I am in the deep woods those are all the materials I have. At least I can make as many targets as I need. If I can’t find a way to somehow control my emotions I will fail at my mission. Feeling the pressure of no mistakes I begin to feel down. This time when I tried igniting the targets everything burned a beautiful Jade Blue yet there was no damage done. In fact the plants that were already damaged seem to heal. I’m so confused I don’t understand. As I went inside to ponder what was going on I started feeling even more alone. Why are the flames a beautiful Jade blue? How did that heal the damage that was already done? Doesn't fire just destroy things? How could it possibly heal anything? Meanwhile Zoey was