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CHAPTER 48- HEARTBREAKING CONFESSION
I thought he wanted to confess something. He is…. I couldn't find the right word to describe him. He placed me well on the bed, as he covered me with a blanket.
He later went out, closing the door, bringing nothing but making my heart go crazy. I would have been able to stop Joseph from getting attracted to me but, I guess it was impossible.
This feeling of mine feels like a plague, tormenting me everywhere. It would have been best if I am attracted to the same sexes, and not vice versa. Joseph almost raped me, that alone sends every part of my brain spinning. My eyes started closing, as I gave in to sleep.
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I felt strengthened as I could not help but prepare a homemade snackRelated chapters
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 49-I NEED TO HELP HIM
As I leaned against the door, I could feel my head almost spinning. I felt my body ache as my mind went back to what Joseph revealed. He wanted to have me on video, how ridiculous. He saw me as a tool he can use and dump.Cleaning the tears off my face, I stood up as I slept on the bed. He is not worth it. He is the most disgusting fellow I have ever seen. I curse the day I got attracted to him. I just hope he gets off my life.****The whole week was more like singing a lullaby to me, boring and stressful. Joseph kept begging me but I never yielded. He looks lean, his eyes more like he has cried his sockets out. I don't think he deserves to be listened to. I still find it difficult to think straight knowing he wanted to have sex with me and also have me on video, just to win a bet.These days, I have been lonely as I avoided my friends too as I needed some space. Walking alone has been my thing now and spending most of my time in the campus
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 50- ALMOST GIVING IN(1)
I can't help but have a cold foot seeing Joseph. His hair was wet and looked messy, with his eyebrows darted in different directions. The light illuminating from my room makes his face clearer as his eyes were red. His lips paused in a thin line, as he tried to talk as I perceived the smell of alcohol which made me cough, the reeking smell filling my nostril."I have fallen dee..ply for you. Why are you avoiding me", he stuttered as he staggered forward as I held his shoulders." It feels so terrible with this feeling. I can't stop it and I feel almost less when you are on my mind. Please forgive me. Help me out", he stated as he leaned closer to me.My heartbeat as the thought of him kissing me came to my mind, making me shudder inwardly. I can't let this happen. I can't kiss the same sex neither can I give my first kiss to him. I have to stop this", I told myself only for him to fall on my shoulder, as his head rested on my shoulder."Joseph", I
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 51- ALMOST GIVING IN(2)
Am I still angry at him? Well, I can't say for sure. I felt angry at him because he tried to force himself on me. Getting to know about the bet left my head spinning because he wanted to have me on video.But Chris's words touched me so I have forgiven him."I'm not angry at you", I said, sparing him a glance.He moved closer as he stood in front of me." I am sorry for everything. For threatening you with the video. I…", "Stop it. I understand. You are attracted to me and you were finding it difficult to control the new feeling. In the process, you thought it would be best if we both engage in sexual conduct to control the sexual urges", I explained everything that I feel was the reason behind his actions.His face dropped, as he sat on one of the stools with a sour expression." I never expected I would develop anything for you. And If possible I said some things while drunk yesterday, They are all true", he said, his
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 52- THE RIGHT DECISION
"I...", I could not make out the words. I'm confused, and frustration is beginning to set in my mind.Bowing my head slightly, I closed my eyes as I felt imaginations coming into my head. The next day after discovering my feelings for the same sex, I prayed for self-control. I also promised not to give in to my feelings.It would be for the best, not only for me but for Joseph. If we engage in sexual pleasures, that cannot reduce the liking we have for each other. It would only ignite the lust as well as the temporary happiness we would enjoy in the meantime. Most importantly, we will both be committing a grievous sin.Even if I give in, I know myself pretty well. A guilty conscience will eat me up, especially when I have promised the Almighty of doing the right thing.'God gave me feelings, not for me to give in to it but to learn how to control them'. I have two choices.One is to give in to this weir
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER53-BRINGING BACK MEMORIES
It has been a month since the drama with Joseph. Getting over the attraction I had for him was not as easy as I thought. Knowing fully well I did the right thing by not giving in to my feelings kept me aspiring to put an end to the liking I had for him.I know that I made the right decision. If I should accept Joseph's point of view, things would have been upside down. Not only will we be committing such a shameful act in secret, but we will also be sinning against the Almighty.Embracing your sexuality or controlling your sexual desires are those two options I had but I had to go for the latter because to me it is the best. It can be challenging sometimes having feelings that society shun, but with discipline, determination, and trust in God, everything will be a passing phase as long as you pass the bloom of youth.Although you may not have complete control over your desires, you do have control over your actions. You can choose not to act on wrong d
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 54- PROVERBS
I tried as much as possible to avoid scoffing at his gesture, as I decided to pretend."Hey. How are you doing Ethan?", I asked, placing more emphasis on his name.Putting on a sky blue trouser with a blue round neck to match, I must confess he looked almost the same as when we were in secondary school, except that he was taller this time.Leaning on the counter, his hands resting on it as he looked intently at me." I came to get drugs for my allergies, but can we perhaps talk outside?", he asked politely.The images of Joseph's nice gestures flashed through memory as I felt lost again. I only have a grudge against Ethan because I feel he likes treating ladies like trash, more of toys that are used and then disposed of while tired of using them."Oh Ethan, you are here. Michael, he asks of you since he came back from school recently. You guys can leave to talk. I will just sit here", Brother Joe's voice rang thro
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 55- DECISION LOCKING IN
CHAPTER 55- DECISION LOCKING INGetting home from my dad's pharmacy, I walked into my brother's room as his eyes were glued to a novel." Hey. Hope I am not disturbing you", I said, as I scanned his bedroom which was medium-sized with a bed, a study table and chair, and a wardrobe coupled with a bookshelf."No brother, You can join me", he said as he stood up, placing the novel on the bookshelf as he searches for something.My eyes scrutinized the whole room, as it fell on a paper beside the study paper. I picked it up as I read through the contents of the paper leaving me speechless.The paper explains the fantasy of a girl for my brother. Not only is she confessing her feelings for him, but she also wants them to be dating. My heart leaped as I read the writing of this girl who seemed rather poetic, as her wordings are crystal clear." Checking something out?", my brother's voice jolted me out of my reverie as I raised my head."Sor
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 56-ALMOST BULLIED BUT SAVED
Life is often filled with thorns and roses, I must confess that mine is no exception. It has been over 2 years after my encounter with Joseph, making it 4 years in my university.While on the negative side, I am still attracted to the same sex. Within those two years, I had two likings for the same sex, who happened to be two of my coursemates.Fortunately, I was able to get over them, as I tried as much as possible to avoid them like plague, admiring them from a distance. It was heartbreaking as I knew the consequences if I got too close to any one of them.My decision still stands though. As much as I am living, I will never give in to my feeling for the same sex. Once I pass my bloom of yout
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