A Resentful Past

When Siberia arrived at home it was around five pm. She threw her bag on the lounge chair, making her way into her room.

'So grimy', Siberia mumbled to herself as she ventured into her restroom, stripping away her fabrics that still felt clammy. She turned the cold water on, feeling the chills on her hands prior to stepping in the shower; scrubbing every part of her body as hard as possible to dispose of the smell as well as her hair.

It required her 40 minutes all things considered to get out, feeling invigorated. Siberia then headed towards her work area, while looking at her phone. 'Goodness' she said as she saw a message from Mr. Han. 'Should be the hospital address' Siberia said as she tapped on the message. She abruptly wheezed, clasping her right hand over her mouth as she saw the image of Mr. Han's nephew. 'Bak Ganghan Yeong' she murmured to herself as she tapped on the picture.

'He looks so different' Siberia thought as she observed his picture. His highlights standing out more; those plum lips, those huge doe eyes and this time she saw a bigger picture of his beautiful golden  skin that showed up so ravishing with his light-brown, premed hair.

'Daebak', Siberia said as she focused closer this time to the shade of his eye. Aqua green with long lashes.

'How can somebody be this attractive', Siberia stood up, pushing her seat back as she advanced towards her bed, her eyes never leaving his photograph. He looked even more dashing in his dark shorts with an unfastened white shirt exposing his toned six pack.

Siberia was so captivated by his photograph that she didn't focus on the caller ID showing up above. She snapped back on the subsequent ring. 'Yes Mr. Han?'.

"Did you forget how to answer?"

"Gracious, sorry boss", she cussed to herself, slapping her hand against her forehead.

"Whatever, kindly make sure to attend to all his needs and if possible please do accompany him, I'll pay you extra"

"Yes sure" Siberia spoke as a wide smile appeared on her face.

"Okay good, keep me updated about his situation timely"

"Got it boss"

As he hung up, she tossed her phone away, grabbing her pillow and squeezing it against her chest. She could feel her heart thumping so loud that it may burst any moment.

Her excitement soon died down as a sudden realization hit her. 'Why am I being so delighted, I barely know him', she said, scratching her head and laying down. She was however interrupted as she heard her cell phone buzzing beside her.

"Siberia here"

"Siberia honey, how are you"

Siberia frowned as she moved the phone from her ear to check the contact name. ''Mom''

"Eomma", she spoke, astounded.

"Ah I see you're doing good, given how loud you're speaking" her mom half chuckled.

"Ah eomma, I missed you so much" Siberia whined like a kid as she made herself comfortable on the bed.

"Oh then why didn't you call?"

"You already know, my damn boss"

"Very bad Siberia, you shouldn't be saying that". The sound of utensils could be heard over the phone.

"Are you cooking something?"

"Yea, some of your dad's friends are coming over"

"Appa is with you?" Siberia sat upright, her eyes wide in shock.

"Just some catching up" Her mom sounded serious this time.

"Are you…..okay" The worry was clear in Siberia's voice.

Siberia's parent's never had a great chemical bonding ever since the start. As a baby, Siberia witnessed her parents always engaged in heated arguments and consequently either one of them would leave the house and never return until a week. It was however, her father who started the mess. He was an alcoholic, would bring random girls for dinner, claiming them as his office colleagues though it was explicitly evident that they weren't given how they dressed in informal attires, with so much skin revealing. Her father would always over burden her mother and blame her for whatever wrong happened, even trivial matters. Hence Siberia grew up despising her dad. Things before long took a terrible turn after her dad left them. Her mom would constantly chide at her and sometimes stay out the whole day as though she had no little girl. Siberia subsequently battled during her experience growing up and had the most exceedingly terrible adolescent hood. She never got to mingle, let alone make friends, studying became hard as she had to take up part-time jobs to cover her expenses as her mother was already battling with paying the bills. By 20 Siberia left her mother in England on her own and came to Busan where she got herself employed at a finance department. She however struggled the first few years as she dropped out of university early and didn't have enough qualifications.

Siberia couldn't afford to take classes either which is why she changed jobs and shortly before her 23rd birthday she moved to Seoul and soon found herself in a line of work at Mr. Hans as a head in the marketing department.

"Eomma, you don't have to do this" Siberia said, feeling the strife build up inside her.

"Honey, I need to make it up to you", her mother sounded desperate as she spoke.

"There is nothing to make up, I'm doing fine now" Siberia felt a bit exasperated this time as she spoke through gritted teeth.

"Siberia, if only I could be there with you and show you how guilty I am, you would understand why I'm doing this and I'm doing this for..... 'us'"

"Eomma, I appreciate the efforts, but just so you know, I'm doing really good, I have a good job, good income, I'm living well, eating and wearing well and thing are going really well, like actually well…the 'wow', 'you rock girl', well.  You can do whatever, but I just want you to know that don't do anything reckless that would cause you harm" Siberia was about to hang up, but stopped midway as she heard the word 'resent'

"What was that" She brought the phone back to her ear.

"I said you still resent your father" her mother sounded guilty as spoke each word.

"Eomma, I have every right to resent him".

She didn't want to hear more and swiftly disconnected, feeling conflicted and tormented as the past blazed through her mind.