I have always wanted shared conversations, shared interests, friendships, all of it. Interests that align and people who actually listen and want to be there. It wasn’t a bad night after all. I took the last step of my stair case and pushed my bedroom open, then threw my heavy weight on the duvets. The ceiling was white as always, but it felt different, felt different because I was radiating good vibes. I laid on my bed for a while, breathing in and out, calming my soul, teaching it how to live again. I moved my hands around the bed and felt something hard, my phone. Sometimes I usually forgot that I owned one, for almost a week or even more. As soon as I held it on my hand, my heartbeat quickened as I recalled my new friends. I had Cage and Barbra, two new friends who made me want to wake up every day and live, wake `up and try again. I unlocked the phone, and carefully opened the messaging app, then the watsap app, to see if at all they had missed me. No messages.
Faults are always thick where love is thin. Yeah, where there is no love or almost none at all, there are many faults. Another morning, but this one would be different, it wouldn’t be like the others, first I would come to school earlier than usual to change the narrative. I had accepted a ride from my papa to drop me in school too. Something that I never did at all. Changing the narrative, finally flipping the tables. Hopefully the principal would be able to see that I was always being bullied from the multiple videos that had been posted online. There was no way I could post bad and awful photos of me, photos of me with a towel or running in the hallways looking scared and ready to die. There was no way I could take them either, it was just awful and unrealistic. Just incase it was needed I had a list of al the bullies. A list of about ten people written n a piece of paper. To make things easy, I would just produce it when needed. We arrived at the parking lot and papa stopped th
I sat back shocked and surprised. How could he even attempt to laugh at whatever I was saying. The names weren’t funny, they were my nightmares, they were the factors that contributed to my terrible life. It wasn’t about the laughter, it was the fact that I had trusted him enough to open up, trusted him enough to tell him what I was going through, then after doing all that, he found the audacity to laugh in front of me. I was about to tell him how much people laughed at me every day, how bad the laughter and names and jokes people cracked over my name rang in my head, but that would not happen. He had betrayed my trust. ‘‘Why would you find the names or anything I said funny,’’ I asked innocently. ‘‘Uhm sorry, can we continue,’’ he uttered drifting back to seriousness. What kind of school was this, everyone was mischievous the teachers, students and now te principal himself. ‘‘Do you have anything to prove that the students you claim have been bullying you?’’ he asked. ‘‘Yes,’’ I
I was late for class again, but this round with a note from the principal himself. I drugged my legs and feet along the hallway corridors, hoping the first lesson would be over soon. If my guess was right, it was math’s class. Whether I attended the class or not, it didn’t matter. One class wouldn’t change or improve my grade in any way. My ties and relationship with math had been cut off even before I was done. They had literally been cut off when I was still an infant inside the womb. No matter how hard I tried, nothing good ever came out of my math class, exams or exercise book. I reached the door as usual and it was indeed math. I pulled the door open and all the students seemed to be bored, the mood of the math teacher was also down in the dumps. That was very typical at Maslow High School, no one cared. The students didn’t care, the teacher didn’t care. The moment Mr. Thomas saw me, his mood lightened up abruptly as he stopped whatever he was doing and arranged the rulers and
I closed my math exercise book and sat back angrily. What more was I supposed to do to rase my grades, nothing good ever came out of anything I did. The only time I proved useful was when I was breathing out carbon dioxide to be used by plants in the environment. I took out my planner that was halfway filled and was glad today was filled. It was science once again. As much as I loved science I freaked out at the mention of the subject and teacher because of one thing. His favorite phrase was group yourselves. Also, one of my worst nightmares. ‘‘Let us all head to the lab,’’ the teacher announced out of nowhere. I grunted in dismay as I packed my books slowly and waited for everyone to head out so I could do the same. It was better if I stayed behind and walked behind everyone else, that way no one would see me and make any jokes. I thought it was awesome plan until I arrived last and found everyone already grouped into their own tables. ‘‘Miss Shaley,’’ the Science teacher called
My favorite and worse bells were the ones that run at lunch time. For one I would get a chance to savor the sweet taste of food in case the bullies forgot about my existence for a short while and decoded t live and concentrate on their lives for once. The best parts of my lifer were always spent eating, with my mouth stuffed with food as juices dripped down my throat towards my digestive truck. The other happy parts were spent when I was sleeping and dreaming of no one in particular. Dreaming of no one and nothing as dear sleep took me to wonderlands I had never visited before. After the science teacher had finished his glory speech about potassium symbol being K, and advising me to take ten minutes of my time at the hallways and school gate every day to study the chemical symbols on the wall, the bell rung. It was a huge sigh for me, because finally I would stop feeling stupid and at least start feeling better. The hallways were crowded as usual and I matched towards my locker on th
‘‘You are a gem and you shouldn’t be seen with trash like her.’’ I wasn’t even surprised, I already knew who I was, I was a door mat and no matter what I would never be a doormat or rise to the ranks of a face towel. It was only good that someone got to remind me of who and what I was. I bit back tears that were threatening to come out of my eyes and breathed in and out as I looked down. ‘‘This doesn’t scare you; this doesn’t scare you, you have been through worse, you have been through hell and blazing fames, but you still came out alive,’’ my inner voice whispered, pleading with me to stand up and fight for myself, pleading with me to be a human being for once and defend myself Infront of the bullies. I was weak, I couldn’t do it, never could, I wasn’t man enough, or woman enough. It is crazy how I always planned one hundred outrageous things that I would do to the bullies everyday and fail to do them. How I had fantasized about killing Vince and wiping his DNA from the face of t
When you see your bully and greatest enemy suffering, the first instinct should be to cry out in joy, to thank the heavens and Gods, to whisper a thank you prayer to whoever made it happen. It is the natural law of the universe. When a competitive business that challenges yours goes bankrupt and calls, the first instinct should be to celebrate. This should have been my reaction, absolute happiness, the loudest scream and cheer when he got flipped. But this all sounded and looked like a dream. It wasn’t the first time that I was daydreaming, it was my talent, since I couldn’t live happily in the world I could comfortably do it inside my head. I rubbed my eyes and confirmed the events. It was the bully caught up in a brawl, with my newest friend Cage. Six minutes ago After Vince was doner with his mighty speech about trash and gems, taking sides and Barbra crossing over if she wanted to stay in this school, he made a you turn with his full team. His walking style was the usual one,